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#2812435 09/14/18 03:30 AM
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It's been a bit, but I've decided to start a new thread.. Chose the title because I'm about to be hit by a hurricane for the better part of the next 48 hours.. Kinda [censored], but been there done that, I'll be fine (as long as one of my trees doesn't decide to fall on me). I figure I have a kayak if flooding becomes an issue, I have camp gear if power goes out,and I have a dislike of showers (and about 80 gallons of water stored) if water goes out...

So anyway, had the most amazing trip to Alaska with mom, so much quality time spent in a RV for two weeks, and many many amazing adventures experienced too boot. It will be an experience I'll forever cherish.

As far as finding "Love", I'm completely indifferent, bordering on avoidant.. I'm enjoying me for now, and for someone to change that they would have to be persuasive, but I'm enjoying time spent with friends, it provides an outlet.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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Keeping you and all of the residents that are in the path of the hurricane in my thoughts and prayers. Please stay safe.




Previous Thread:

Open the Floodgates

Last edited by job; 09/14/18 12:03 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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First, that Alaska trip sounds like quite and adventure, and how cool is it that you got to do that with your mom. It's a once in a life time experience.

Secondly, YOU STAYED?! Please be careful! Do you have a generator? I have lived without power for way too long with hurricaines Sandy and Irene (us northerners aren't quite prepared for those) and it was cold and very rough. You are obviously the rough and tough outdoorsman, so I am sure you'll be fine, but stay safe, please. Someone I graduated high school with is in Wilmington and he was posting videos (he is also staying) and he has a million trees on his property. So please, don't go outside, OK?

Let us know how you are doing?

P.S? A dislike for showers?

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All good, the winds have passed, now it will be a couple of days of rain and maybe the occasional gusts, so still possible to lose some trees. As of now, zero damage for me, and Im pretty elevated here, so flooding not an issue here, but many are still being forced to evacuate because the rivers are rising.

As for dislike of showers, I was being funny, cause when water goes out you don't get to take showers or baths. But I didn't lose water, I lost power for less than 24 hours and it's back on now.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Joined: Jan 2000
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I'm glad you and your property are okay. The forecasters are still saving more rain is coming and the people are not out of the woods yet. Stay safe down there!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Originally Posted by job
I'm glad you and your property are okay. The forecasters are still saving more rain is coming and the people are not out of the woods yet. Stay safe down there!


This is my 13th or so hurricane, I am, to say the least, I am used to to preparation and "sounds" they make (especially the winds at night).. But I have to say that the flooding is completely different here.. Back home, flooding is localized based on where the rain falls, I used to deal with hurricanes at 5 feet above sea level, but everyone else was also, so I didn't have to worry about their rain becoming my problem.

But now that I'm inland and elevated, river basins are a whole new issue with hurricanes. I'm fine, I'm over 100' above the closest River, but that River is expected to rise 60 feet, there are many people who aren't so lucky. Back home in FL, the winds were the issue you had to deal with, but here it's a two pronged attack. I will be going back to real life tomorrow, back to work it is, but there are many people who will be struggling for awhile to get back to normal, pray for them, they didn't want or ask for this.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,509
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Someone in my fishing forum posted about the loss of his wife, he admitted to putting a gun to his head but putting it down when he thought of his kids.. I posted about his wife passing away knowing about him choosing to love her to the end, that he needs to move forward honoring her by living the life she would want for him..

It brought up memories of a lady my ex and I worked with, she had at the least an emotional A with our boss before she died of an brain aneurysm at 39 (shortly before my ex started with her A).. I'll never forget him holding it together at the funeral, even feeling like he was happy with the way things unfolded.. I do know they had dated for 14 years before they married, happily, and they had only married 2 or 3 years before.

I remember having thoughts of receiving knocks at the door that my wife was killed and how much that thought hurt, but the pain I imagined didn't compare to what I lived through...

I now understand what I saw, a husband that had a unfaithful wife die and how he was able to handle the funeral like he did..

I find myself wondering what would hurt worse, having a faithful wife die, or finding out my wife was unfaithful.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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I'd guess unfaithful. Both are the loss of your spouse. Divorce is also accompanied by disillusionment of human relationships.


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
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i too vote for unfaithful. one of my closest friends lost her husband to cancer a few years before my husband went off the deep end. We often talk about our similar feelings of loss, but the glaring difference is that she maintained at first that at least i had the hope of seeing exh and that as long as he was alive he could perhaps turn it around and be the person he was for most of our marriage.

now, well, she gets it: the pain of having someone who looks and sounds like your beloved spouse but behaves like an entirely different person wandering around, having to deal with that person because of kids, etc. Both death and divorce hurt immensely, but divorce ... eh, there's so much more that goes along with that: betrayal, disillusionment as Zues said, etc.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Being myself a former WH I agree with all of you. My W had said to me that I hurt her more than the cancer she had 13 years ago...

Tearing now...


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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