He sends you mixed messages because he wants to keep you hanging on. And I am sorry to say that he dates other women because he wants to date other women.
i suggest that you stop accepting the gifts, breakfast, and coffee. I also suggest that you stop bringing up anything to do with the two of you or keeping your family together. It hasn't worked thus far. Try something new - nothing. That approach has made me feel better.
Thank you. I know your right. I think the holiday set me back. We took the kids to the beach together and lunch / go karts ect. It was such a fun “normal” day. Then I see another girl text his phone (roar)
I don’t get it. It’s like every week there is a new woman or he’s on another dating site. It’s like he can’t be alone for 5 minutes!! I wish he could just take that energy and put it into making his family work out. It [censored] to love and care about someone so much who doesn’t give a [censored] about you. Wish I could move on as easily as he has.
I know the long R talks ect is pushing him away so I guess I just have to work on being “indifferent “ even though it’s killing me.
That's alright. I had a bit of an emotional set back myself this morning and I am sure that it would have been worse if I'd spent the day with my spouse. I'm not sure that the family time is good for you and I think that it may reduce your chances of reconciling with him. It lets him have the best of both worlds.
We took the kids to the beach together and lunch / go karts etc.
It's a year later and you aren't over him--it sounds like you need to give yourself space to move on--maybe go dark on accepting coffee, gifts, breakfast, texts about his troubles, and spending holidays together.
Originally Posted by MamaB25
Why does he send me mixed messages but date other women??
As stated, to keep you holding on.
Originally Posted by MamaB25
but I don’t know where to start. It’s impossible communicating with him
The starting point is he has to want to reconcile. If he ever does, you will know.
Originally Posted by MamaB25
happy as can be living the “bachelor” lifestyle. How am I the one who is sad all the time , lonely , and raising our babies alone??
You have to find your own happy, in your role as a mom, in your hobbies, in your life as a single lady. Even if you want to R someday, you must know your odds are better if you're not sad and lonely. And if you're not sad and lonely, you may not want to R so much. If you're watching your kids alone, consider pushing him to take the kids one night OR pushing him for enough child support to take a couple half-days off per week.
Last edited by job; 07/06/2004:48 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
