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A Message from Michele
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Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2826704
12/10/18 01:09 PM
12/10/18 01:09 PM
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neffer Offline
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Thanks for the update Coco. Glad to read you are keeping GAL and have seen your S.

So you are thinking about getting into the dating scene? Good.

Keep moving Coco!


WW H(me): 49
W: 44
T: 24 M: 19
S: 14
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2827196
12/12/18 02:24 PM
12/12/18 02:24 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 3,924
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Ginger1 Online
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Hey coco! Happy Birthday! Sounds like you are living your best life! I know ti is hard to leave behind some close friends, but I don't doubt you will make new ones. You sound like you are having fun, staying connected with your family and just living as you should. I'm sure you'll find a lovely lady to enjoy some adventures with you.

And a hosting 23 people? God bless you. Sounds like lots of fun, though!

Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2827449
12/13/18 03:30 PM
12/13/18 03:30 PM
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,469
NC
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Coconut Offline OP
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Coconut  Offline OP
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thank you Ginger, I had a nice birthday.. The party dwindled down to 15 people, the weather forecast scared some people away, although it rained all day in town I never got a drop at my house so it worked out perfect. We played "Never Have I Ever", and I realized that I've had quite a few life experiences, I was constantly drinking cause I had done almost all of the things said... It definitely stood out to the group; while I'm a pretty laid back and responsible person, I've always lived by the motto that i'll try almost anything once...


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2828489
12/18/18 08:19 PM
12/18/18 08:19 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,425
Colorado
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Ready2Change Offline
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Originally Posted by Coconut
I don't go to newcomers too often anymore because it does bring up a lot of bad memories and I have to much empathy for those just beginning the journey, it's not enjoyable reliving that..
I understand. I had to take a break. Decided I had to pay it forward. In the supporting role, It still helps clarify things for me.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time
Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2831099
01/04/19 02:01 PM
01/04/19 02:01 PM
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Posts: 1,469
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Coconut Offline OP
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Good morning ya'll, hope everyone enjoyed their holidays.. I went back home to spend Christmas with my friends and Fam for a week and it was a really good time, then back in NC for New Years but didn't go out, just wasn't feeling a crazy night in the middle of the week so just watched it on tv. My roommate (who only stays with me 3 nights a week) took two weeks off after Christmas so I had the place to myself...

But when I got home from work yesterday he was there, I just assumed he had to go back to work early. So while I was getting the grill ready to make dinner he comes out and tells me that he was kicked out of his house by his wife. He said that they've been having issues for awhile but things had blown up that day and she kicked him out. He is convinced they are going to divorce (been M - 1 1/2 yrs, T- 5 yrs) and started asking me questions about the process, I told him the importance of trying to work things out but suggested he speak with a L to find out where he stands financially, then he busts out with "I don't think it can be saved, I cheated on her during my last deployment" (he got back 4 months ago) and she found out. I told him that was a scumbag thing to do, but that if he was committed it could possibly still be saved. He then started in on the complaints about her, one of them being "My wife's really pretty, but as soon as we got married she started gaining weight"... It pissed me off that he was complaining about something so shallow because I knew he was just trying to justify his actions, he didn't show any remorse or desire to work things out, so I didn't share this site with him.

He asked if it was ok if he stayed full weeks for a bit while he figures things out and I told him that was fine for a few weeks but if he wasn't working things out and moving back home soon, he would need to find another place to live.

I really have no interest in being friendly with people who have an A, so the thought of him being around more for the next 3-4 weeks isn't sitting well with me. I'm not just going to boot him out with no where to go but I'm not willing to let him draw things out either.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2833650
01/21/19 05:44 AM
01/21/19 05:44 AM
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Posts: 1,469
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Coconut Offline OP
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So, I met a girl last weekend while out downtown, BUT shes less than half my age... Ive kept her in the friend zone, just having fun when hanging out (we have some similar interests). Shes leaving the country in 6 months and I feel like she wants more than friendship and Im torn.. Id never seek out someone so young, but I have to admit it is flattering and would be fun for awhile, Im struggling on wether to keep her at arms length or just go with it. Long term isnt in the cards, so Im pretty tempted to just have fun in the short term. What do yall think? Is it a bad idea that might interfere with long term goal of meeting someone serious?


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2833671
01/21/19 02:07 PM
01/21/19 02:07 PM
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Ginger1 Online
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Is she over 21?

Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2833673
01/21/19 02:23 PM
01/21/19 02:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,652
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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C'Nut - my own opinion is to have some fun.

A rebound with the expectation that it is just temporary would probably do you no end of good. Yes - most of us undoubtedly want that happily ever after but if there's nothing on the horizon for that then why not? If you are both open about the idea of a good time and not a long time then you've got nothing to lose and a lot to gain.

On the other hand it could all be in your imagination too - so tread carefully as you don't want to lose what sounds like a nice friend. Someone here gave me the helpful line "You can't blame me for asking" if you are over-stepping.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: Coconut] #2833674
01/21/19 02:25 PM
01/21/19 02:25 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline
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Have fun.....dont get emotionally attached.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Weathering the Storm [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2833681
01/21/19 02:55 PM
01/21/19 02:55 PM
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,469
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Coconut Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Is she over 21?

Shes 22.


Originally Posted by AndrewP
C'Nut - my own opinion is to have some fun.

On the other hand it could all be in your imagination too - so tread carefully as you don't want to lose what sounds like a nice friend. Someone here gave me the helpful line "You can't blame me for asking" if you are over-stepping.

If im wrong about the signals shes putting out Ill be shocked, but I think Im going to stop holding back and just go with it.


Originally Posted by Joseph9
Have fun.....dont get emotionally attached.

Yeah, Im thinking you are right, just enjoy the moment or months, however it plays out.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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