Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 8 of 11 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 372
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 372
DB, go watch a movie. Join some activity or class that is completely out of your comfort zone but you have been intrigued by it.
Get enrolled in courses on coursera or edulix, something so different from your specialty that you have tons to learn with it.
Plan your days alone to the minute so you hardly have any time to brood or miss your S.

Really like how you say loving her from far, far away. Distance and time are the key ingredients for all our sitches.

Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 89
D
DB346 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 89
Thanks for that Arshi. Fortunately, I'm not really brooding or focusing on missing him, but it's hard not to miss him. I don't miss WW or honestly even think about her very often anymore. The thoughts I do have mostly pertain to logistics going forward. I am going to be OK and I might even already be very close to that now. I still love her, but I deserve someone that loves me too. She's made her choices and she will have to live with them. I have accepted that this is the life I now have to live and I am going to make the best of it.


Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s
M: 12
S: 7
BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day)
OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 89
D
DB346 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 89
Been a hard couple of days for me. Not because I miss WW, but because she is being very difficult about custody of our son. I want 50/50, but she only wants to agree to give me every other weekend and a couple evening visits during the week. She is so angry and hateful toward me, yet she tries to project those feelings to me. Accused me of wanting equal time with my son only because of my anger and resentment toward her and that my hatred of her is preventing me from doing what's best for our son. I don't have anger or resentment toward her, and I definitely don't hate her. She hurt me, but I know that I can't control her or make her be the person I thought she was. I just want to move on with my life but she's using our son to try to maintain control over me. This is just causing me so much stress. Unfortunately, it looks like I am likely going to end up needing to file for an at-fault divorce because I don't think we are going to come to a separation agreement and I'm not willing to let this continue this way indefinitely. I have no protection right now and that is not a good feeling.


Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s
M: 12
S: 7
BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day)
OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,387
Likes: 52
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,387
Likes: 52
Do you have a L?


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,101
Likes: 1
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,101
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by DB346
I have no protection right now and that is not a good feeling.


Why is that?


WW H(me): 51
W: 47
T: 26 M: 21
S: 16
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 8,028
Likes: 117
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 8,028
Likes: 117
D,

Most courts understand the importance of male role model and award 50/50. Do not discuss it with her anymore. Do not accept less then 50/50!


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 89
D
DB346 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 89
LH,

I do have a lawyer, but our state does not default to 50/50. There is a very real possibility that I only end up with every other weekend and a couple hours one or two nights during the week that I don't have him on the weekend. But, I won't ACCEPT less than 50/50. If I end up with less than that, it will be forced on me.

Neffer,

I have no protection because we have no separation agreement, and this state isn't very pro-father. Things have been OK here in the summer, but school will start soon. And it's during the school year that she is adamant about not splitting custody, because she 'doesn't want to yank him back and forth'...Which is why our proposal was for alternating weeks, so that he had stability through the entire week, then had the weekend to settle back in at the other house before starting another week of school. It is a COMPLETELY reasonable solution, but she wants total control.


Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s
M: 12
S: 7
BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day)
OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,101
Likes: 1
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,101
Likes: 1
Hang in there DB3!

Get L advice again. Do what is the best for your S. If you think youve got it, stick to the plan.

Stay calm. I know it is hard but it is what it is now. Remember its a marathon...


WW H(me): 51
W: 47
T: 26 M: 21
S: 16
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 89
D
DB346 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 89
So, I talked to my L again. Her advice is to file for adultery. I am having a very hard time with that because I never wanted this divorce, but doing this is my best hope for getting equal time with my son. It's also hard because I realize that this will likely kill any remote hope for R with her, but I have to do what's best for my son. I know my MR has been over even longer than she's been gone, but it really looks like my best hope for MR 2.0 is going to be with someone else...


Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s
M: 12
S: 7
BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day)
OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,101
Likes: 1
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,101
Likes: 1
The future is uncertain DB3. But you must protect yourself and your son. Stay strong man. Your WW should face reality or not. You must do it.

Sending you a big hug.
(((DB3)))


WW H(me): 51
W: 47
T: 26 M: 21
S: 16
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Page 8 of 11 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Link Copied to Clipboard