Hey everyone. Just wanted to let you know I GALed as promised on Sunday and had some friends over at the house. We made some food and drinks and just hung out for a while.
I ended up pulling out the smudge kid my coworker gave me for the house and they did a little thing with me to cast 3 bad things out and invite 3 good things in while we smudged the entire home. I was really touched because before we started doing that, one of them said an affirmation over ME, and then as I did the rest of the smudging they all followed behind me and one of my friends carried a sign I bought about courage and honesty, etc. because she wanted me to know that the words have been carried over the whole home.
It was really cool to see my friends get so into it and really care about the "ritual". I had no idea they'd do that. Also, I told them I still had a bottle of champagne engraved for our wedding day (ironically something my coworkers also gave me 4 years ago) that for whatever reason me and H never drank (symbolism in that I guess...). Since our anniversary is coming up I told them I figured it would be more appropriate for us all to drink it, so that's what we did! After I explained what it was and cried a few tears of course, but that was over after a minute and a few good hugs.
Had a lot of fun and didn't want them to go but also felt really good that I had them over - despite also not having my crap together because I had hoped to have food done when they arrived and I was so behind but then they just pitched in and helped me chop stuff up and get it done. They also live a ways away from me so it was very nice to have everyone together. I love them!
So I'm feeling pretty good right now overall. Not really worried or anxious about much at the moment. I don't believe that it's a permanent feeling but I am definitely making note of it and being "present" in it and owning it, hopefully to make the next "cycle" easier.