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Joined: Oct 2015
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Hey V! Checking in with you to see how you are today? smile


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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I am feeling more centred today focus.

My open sore issue from Saturday needs finishing.

A long standing friend made a pass at me yesterday, he has a girlfriend and he is a friend. So no no no no. I am slightly disappointed that a friend would behave that way to his long standing girlfriend. I thought him better than that. Oh well, live and learn.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Oh good heavens! How disrespectful, all round!! Hope you're OK from that?


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017
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Ugh. Sorry about that. It is always tricky for us women to be friends with men (and I have lots of male friends) but you never know when they might surprise you with a declaration of inappropriate interest!

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I was a little non plus and I told him I didn't like it and frankly wasn't sure if I should tell his gf who I know vaguely. I suggested if his R wasn't up to scratch he should get advice IC or put in some work!

Can't see V as an OW somehow.

Thanks kml and focus for the support on it.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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I am still dealing with open sore issues. Today I did a body program which examines attitudes to ones self. Very troubling, I feel exhausted.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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It's day 33 of 100 on tackling open sore issues. One third the way in.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Tell me more about the body program - what did you learn?

I'm interested because my conversation with my best friend the other day. She was somewhat astonished at something I said about dates thinking I was "all that and a bag of chips" and she said when relationships don't work out she assumes it's because she's not enough. I told her how ridiculous that was (she's a leggy blonde, talented and artistic, self-supporting without debt, looks much younger, brilliant mind, still interested in sex - I told her most guys our age would be thrilled to have her.)

I know her surprised response to my statement was in part because I've gained weight and she's a bit obsessive about her own weight (thin). And it made me think a little about the place I'm in.

I'm certainly not happy with the excess weight I've gained from all the stress of the last two years - I'd like to lose some weight. And I'm far from the skinny body of my youth. But one of the blessings of dating after my divorce is how readily the men I have dated have embraced my body type, regardless of weight. (Picture Botticelli's Venus, with slightly shorter legs, wider hips, and an extra 20 lbs mostly distributed to boobs and behind and you'll get an idea of my current body type.)

I've come to understand that my curves are plenty sexy and if I'm comfortable in my own skin, many men will find me very attractive. With age comes wisdom and frankly my dear, at this age I don't really give a dam. If a man doesn't find me attractive or has concerns about my cellulite, I'll gladly move on to someone who isn't bothered by that.

Although I've dated some very handsome men since my divorce, I'm not critical of THEIR bodies. I kind of expect men in their fifties to have a bit of a belly even if they're very fit, it doesn't bother me that they're not perfect.

My hips are wide and even when I was very skinny in my youth, I always had wide hips - very unfashionable in the 70's when skinny Jordache jeans were the rage. Yet all of the last four men I have dated have made the same comment about enjoying the "view" when walking behind me, so I've finally come to view it as an asset smile

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, I love and appreciate my body and inhabit it with pride. I don't feel awkward getting naked in front of a new man and they generally respond to my comfort in my skin with appreciation not criticism. I'd rather be with a guy who appreciates me now, and lose weight later, than lose weight now and be with a guy who's not going to be happy if my weight fluctuates back up.

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Oh - and all of you young women out there worrying about 10 or 15 pounds? Stop it right now. When you're older you'll WISH you had the body you have right now; APPRECIATE it while you have it.

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It's Marisa Peer. I am enough, you can sign up for a free course it's based on hypnosis. That is where I started on day 10 of my 100. She is British and very straight talking. If you don't complete a module you don't get the next one.

And I just did the whole day online course.

Another helpful book is Body Beliefs by Jason Seib.

Not all of us are so lucky kml, some of us need assistance. I was perfectly ok until the abuse and the words of the G that stayed in my head. I am requiring support to get them out again.

These resources are not diets or protocols. They are based on behaviour and not primarily around food. So don't expect menus or eating regimes.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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