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A Message from Michele
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Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: Coconut] #2790030
05/14/18 07:51 AM
05/14/18 07:51 AM
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doodler Offline
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Originally Posted By: Coconut
Just going to go drop her stuff off after work and wash my hands of that situation.


We hear you. Just be sure to bring some condoms with you; you'll probably need them.

Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: doodler] #2790846
05/18/18 03:10 AM
05/18/18 03:10 AM
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Posts: 1,509
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Coconut Offline OP
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just going to type, so much going on through my head, tbh, my life is a bit of a whirlwind and is a bit overwhelming.

First, about Lovely, I went to her house after work, she told me that the day I left for camping her ex-boyfriend (3 mth R that ended 2 mths ago) called her, cursed her out (she said something about she knew he needed to let it all out) and they talked and are going to try again. I think she probably called him, but it's fine with me either way, I gave her a hug and said my goodbyes.. not going to lie, kind of missed her for a few days, she was sexy, but moving forward.

GG - after accidently sending the pic of me and lovely to GG, she started coming on much stronger, we have had multiple 2-3 hr conversations this week and are having our 2nd date tonight. We had a 2nd date scheduled a couple of weeks ago but had to cancel, I've spent time with her since 1st date, but not out alone on a "date". Anyway, I'm looking forward to it, her current "status" in life (kids, no job, medical issues, etc) isn't ideally what I would want in a partner, but I really enjoy talking to her, spending time with her and appreciate what she does bring to the table. More on her in a minute.

First Date girl - the lady I went out with about a month ago or so on my first date, that when I told her I didn't want to pursue more she offered with FWB sitch... Well, we text back and forth occasionally, usually her reaching out to me, is coming to my house tomorrow night for a game night I'm having (with gaming group). We haven't really discussed situation as she just told me last night that she could make it while I was out eating with some friends, but since she lives over an hour away and game night ends at 1am, I'm sure she is planning on staying over. I'm really struggling with what I want here, but I am leaning more towards to telling her ahead of time that I am no longer interested in FWB, which is how my gut is leaning. I'm getting so much attention from woman that I worry about how I'm going to feel about myself if I start getting physical with them when I don't have feelings, while dating woman I have feelings for but aren't physical. I need to think on this.

Last night I asked the singles group if anyone wanted to join me for dinner and I had 3 ladies respond and show up. 1 of them is one of my friends and just came to socialize, but the other two were going back and forth trying to gain my attention. It feels really good to be in such a good place that people really want to spend time with me, but it's getting a bit overwhelming to have so many woman trying to gain my affection at once. Good problem to have, I know.

So back to GG. During one of our conversations we talked about Religion, she is religious and wants that in a man if she was to marry again. She told me about the concept of being equally yoked in a R, I had never heard the term so she explained a little bit of what it meant to a M to be equally yoked. I'm not going to lie, it really caught my attention in a positive way. I did some research on it later, watched videos of sermons and testimonials about equally yoked relations ships and I've decided to start attending a church by my house to see how it feels. Although it probably seems like it, I'm not doing this for GG, I'm doing it for me. My exposure to religion has been very minimal in my life, I want to expand that part of me, and the idea of eventually ending up in a LTR with someone of faith is appealing to me.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: Coconut] #2790961
05/18/18 11:51 PM
05/18/18 11:51 PM
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Posts: 1,509
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Coconut Offline OP
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Oh dang, I've been friend zoned by GG... Someone recently said to me that rejection is gods protection, so probably a good thing that I can open my heart to someone else, because it has always favored her.

I guess the recent friendliness she showed came from feeling safe to be friendlier to me since the pictures I sent showed I was seeing others and wouldn't become too infatuated towards her. She didn't say, just my guess. Said again that she wished she did feel differently, but just doesn't.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: Coconut] #2791100
05/20/18 07:48 AM
05/20/18 07:48 AM
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Ginger1 Online
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Sorry, C-nut. There will be a woman out there that feels as strongly for you as you do them.

I had a guy I had dated and he did decide that something was missing for him. He didn't feel the same way about me and I did him. We kept up some sort of FWB intermittently for years when I realized how much worse I felt after. I just really wanted to be with someone who felt the same way about me, as I do about them. So I stopped putting myself in that position.

Got to say, for the short time you have been dating, you sure are getting a lot of action. So the odds are pretty good sooner, rather than later, you'll find someone on even, healthy ground with you.

Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: Ginger1] #2791473
05/22/18 05:41 AM
05/22/18 05:41 AM
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Coconut Offline OP
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thanks G, I know that i'll be alright, just that sometimes when I'm home alone, I wish I had that someone right here and now.. However, many other times I find joy in being on my own, so I guess it just depends what day you catch me.

As for yesterday and today, definitely Bleh days... Said farewell to Lovely on Monday, confirmed friend zone with GG on Friday, and FWB girl came to my game night Saturday night, she drove 1 1/2 hrs to my house, and then after being there for only a couple of hours said goodbye to me and drove home.

I was struggling on if I wanted to have sex with her thinking she was definitely planning on staying over, but she didn't even stay. I was fine with that at the time, but yesterday found myself feeling like I lost 3 girls in one week. I'm just taking this week to reset, I'm not making any plans to go out and instead am going to spend some me time and re-center.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: Coconut] #2791539
05/22/18 12:21 PM
05/22/18 12:21 PM
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Ginger1 Online
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I know what you are saying.....

But you didn't actually lose anyone. You lost potential people, not people you already had.....

I am afraid they call this sick game "dating"

A week to reset is a good idea. I have taken a few weeks. Probably will end up being a few months.

I think once you recenter, however, you'll be back in the "game"

Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: Ginger1] #2791658
05/23/18 04:15 AM
05/23/18 04:15 AM
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Coconut Offline OP
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Had a lady reach out to me yesterday, she commented on a picture I posted on a fishing app that I use to post fish caught. Anyway, it sent me an email with her comment but not the picture it was posted on, she had asked where and what bait I caught the fish on and gave me her phone number to respond to.

I assumed that the comment was made on an almost 7 lb bass that I had caught so I answered as such and made the comment that it was my personal best bass and I had caught it my first day in NC. We got to chatting and she asked me to take her out fishing sometime, so that was cool.

Anyway, I just went onto the app since I hadn't been on it in awhile to see the pic that she commented on and it turns out she didn't comment on my big bass. She commented on my first catch on the local river, I only posted the pic because it was my first catch on that river and the fish was only about 6 inches long, the lure is almost as big as the fish in the picture. haha, she must of liked my look in the picture because I'm guessing the size of the fish didn't impress her much.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: Coconut] #2791677
05/23/18 05:35 AM
05/23/18 05:35 AM
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Posts: 3,368
Canada
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AndrewP Online
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Originally Posted By: Coconut
it turns out she didn't comment on my big bass.
How many of us are waiting for doodler to read this laugh


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: AndrewP] #2791686
05/23/18 06:36 AM
05/23/18 06:36 AM
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It's been a long time since I've had a good piece of bass. Tonight it'll be meatloaf, yet again.

Re: Open the Floodgates [Re: Coconut] #2791826
05/24/18 02:23 AM
05/24/18 02:23 AM
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dusty70 Offline
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Originally Posted By: Coconut
just that sometimes when I'm home alone, I wish I had that someone right here and now.. However, many other times I find joy in being on my own, so I guess it just depends what day you catch me.
C-Nut..... This is were i'm at probably way too much. When my kids are with the X I'm fine for the first couple days but by the forth and fifth day without them I struggle. Need to pick up a new hobby.
Originally Posted By: Coconut
I was fine with that at the time, but yesterday found myself feeling like I lost 3 girls in one week. I'm just taking this week to reset, I'm not making any plans to go out and instead am going to spend some me time and re-center.
I did meet a woman, went on a few dates and had a real good time. I then realized as much as I wanted to continue I wasn't ready to invest the time needed to get to know her better. Once I let her know my feelings she understood but now I find myself feeling down not talking to her anymore. Like you said, need to spend some me time and re-center.


Me 47 WW 44
T25 yrs M20
S18 S14 D12
Divorced 3/12/2018
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