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Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: Cadet] #2773821
01/04/18 09:36 AM
01/04/18 09:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,089
NY
Cadet Offline

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Cadet  Offline

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,089
NY
Originally Posted By: Cadet
Originally Posted By: GalPal
I would LOVE to read earlier threads from imLin's journey. Does anyone know how to access them?


This is a link to what is currently on the forum

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2773452#Post2773452


OOPS - s/b this one
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=userposts&view=started&id=8497


Me-65, D33,S32
Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: Cadet] #2773839
01/04/18 10:31 AM
01/04/18 10:31 AM
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 111
USA
A
Adios Offline
Member
Adios  Offline
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A
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 111
USA
Thanks Cadet,glad you could post these for me.

I'm wondering why I couldn't find these? I did the advanced search but it looks to me like it will only give results within the last 3 months. Tried that and of course no results. Everything else I try comes up 'nothing'. Or am I missing the obvious?

Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: Adios] #2774076
01/06/18 07:09 AM
01/06/18 07:09 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,089
NY
Cadet Offline

Member
Cadet  Offline

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,089
NY
Originally Posted By: GalPal
Thanks Cadet,glad you could post these for me.

I'm wondering why I couldn't find these? I did the advanced search but it looks to me like it will only give results within the last 3 months. Tried that and of course no results. Everything else I try comes up 'nothing'. Or am I missing the obvious?


Yes - the obvious is click on username then - show posts - then topics.


Me-65, D33,S32
Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: imLIN] #2776985
01/28/18 02:35 PM
01/28/18 02:35 PM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 5
C
Candace Offline
New Member
Candace  Offline
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C
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 5
Hi Lin. I'm in the thick of it right now. My husband left 2 weeks before Christmas and he wants to "do what he whats to do". Its so hard because he tells people that he wants to live his own life but I'm still paying the bills and taking care of the kids. He is struggling with his career and his family. He only succeeds at having fun. How did you stick it out so long? I'm feeling frustrated.

Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: Candace] #2777017
01/29/18 12:34 AM
01/29/18 12:34 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,003
Southern Maryland
job Online

Member
job  Online

Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,003
Southern Maryland
Candace,

This is an older thread. Lin hasn't posted on the forum since 2012. You might want to read the current posters' threads and post your questions to them.

Re: What I learned from H's MLC [Re: imLIN] #2790351
05/15/18 12:39 PM
05/15/18 12:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 141
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Jlh Offline
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Jlh  Offline
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J
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 141
Originally Posted By: imLIN
I used to think like a lot of people that MLC was just an excuse to act stupid, buy a sports car, and have an affair!

I learned it is so much more complicated and serious then that.

I have learned that usually MLC is coupled with unresolved issues from childhood...the worse the issues, the worse the crisis

I have learned that it usually takes a minimum of 2 years after the MLC'er bails on the family for them to return...IF they return

I have learned that the MLC will return with some pretty major issues to conquer...major depression, substance abuse, OP to let go of, and others...depression is the MOST common and usually at the root of the ENTIRE MLC to begin with...

Just a little of what I learned...my H is home, happy, and we have rebuilt a better stronger marriage...he has been home since 2006, says he loves me often, and is doing well with the kids (both minor and adult)...we are once again a family and to those who are new friends they would never guess what we had been through the past 7 years! (that is not a typo...his crisis was at least 7 years in length...from the beginning, to his leaving us, to his return, and finally to his becoming his true self again.


Hi imLIN, I was just curious as to if your H had talked a lot about divorce and divorce papers or did he just pretty much run to get his own space and never really mention the D word? My own H says all the same usual MLC things, how he was unhappy for years, etc. He says he has not had papers drawn up yet and will never serve me papers but he acts with mixed signals so it's hard to understand what he wants when he wont talk to me.


Together for 13 years, married for 8.
H is 46
I'm 40
S is 6
Bombdrop in April 2018
Still in limbo as of 2019
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