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chris19 #2787233 04/27/18 07:31 AM
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Now she is asking me if she can pay me to help her with some excel work for her job.


M:30 W:28
T:9 MR:2.5
NoKids
Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16
Move back in: 1/17
BD: 8/15
She moved out: 9/1
chris19 #2787236 04/27/18 07:55 AM
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chris19 Offline OP
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Stay completely dark?


M:30 W:28
T:9 MR:2.5
NoKids
Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16
Move back in: 1/17
BD: 8/15
She moved out: 9/1
chris19 #2787237 04/27/18 07:58 AM
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I would. She needs to know she cant expect to rely on you for things.

you dont get to quit a job and still collect a paycheck right?

this is a fine example of the inability to $h!7 or get off the pot.

The WW's cant have it both ways.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
chris19 #2787243 04/27/18 08:32 AM
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Originally Posted By: chris19
Stay completely dark?


yes! do not do the work for her, for pay... she is terrible to do this to you... she is trying to rope you back in... she is such a game player with you... she is not nice!!!

i say stay completely dark... at the very most just say no or no thanks and THAT'S IT!!! no further discussion... no further comments... even if she asks why or says anything in return... IGNORE HER!!! you are not in a good, strong place right now...

OrangeK #2787245 04/27/18 08:34 AM
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I agree about going dark, I do not think there will be anything good for you regarding staying in contact.


H-30s W-30s
M-5 T-10
D4
ILYBNILWY/BD-May/17
W moves out-May/17
D filed-May/17
House sold, move to apartment-Aug/17
D going through-Jan/18?
SwHubby #2787246 04/27/18 08:36 AM
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And since you do not have any kids, it is possible to go competely dark. It is very cruel to contact you like this over and over again.


H-30s W-30s
M-5 T-10
D4
ILYBNILWY/BD-May/17
W moves out-May/17
D filed-May/17
House sold, move to apartment-Aug/17
D going through-Jan/18?
chris19 #2787341 04/28/18 10:19 AM
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Quote:
Now she is asking me if she can pay me to help her with some excel work for her job.


Gee, if she didn't contact you, we'd probably never hear from you........b/c you would be move on with your life. One text, and whamo it has you at a lost to what to do? Chris, I've told you previously that she does this to keep you emotionally attached to her. When are you going to believe me?


Here's the respond:

Don't like that one?^^^^^^ How about......."Hell no!"

It is way, way past time to tell her to take a hike. If you had done that when she cheated, she might have straighten up.........instead of still yanking your chain. Time to deal with her like a man. A man who couldn't care less if she ever gets help with Excel.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #2787407 04/29/18 07:03 AM
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Sandi, thanks you for the input.

I need to grow a pair it is tuff love and I appreciate it. Im just having trouble finding my inner self to do so. I don t know wtf is wrong with me. She wishes me happy bday today. I m just going to ignore it.


I know it is tuff love and I appreciate it. I am just having trouble finding that inner strength I don t know wtf is wrong with me. It is annoying to myself.

She wished me happy bday today I am ingorning that.

Last edited by Cadet; 05/11/18 03:03 AM. Reason: restored post

M:30 W:28
T:9 MR:2.5
NoKids
Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16
Move back in: 1/17
BD: 8/15
She moved out: 9/1
chris19 #2787475 04/30/18 04:22 AM
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Posts: 331
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chris19 Offline OP
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Sandi, thank you for the response. I appreciate the tough love; and I really do understand. I am having problems finding inner strength to continue with this.


M:30 W:28
T:9 MR:2.5
NoKids
Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16
Move back in: 1/17
BD: 8/15
She moved out: 9/1
chris19 #2789079 05/09/18 06:55 AM
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chris19 Offline OP
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So got a text from W:

Hello Chris, I dnt know if you want to talk or nto but i dnt really know what to do from here besides file. to do that, i need u to sign a few thngs and get it notarized. can you do that if I bring the papers to u?


M:30 W:28
T:9 MR:2.5
NoKids
Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16
Move back in: 1/17
BD: 8/15
She moved out: 9/1
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