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OrangeK Offline OP
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Ok i know ive been posting like crazy but heres one more for the day.

Regarding thursday's court case - this is for the TRO not D.

Reason: WW claims i punched the trunk of her car outside a MC meeting we had back in Jan. I had been put on Meds the day prior, i have no recollection of this event. I recall being in the meeting, then driving. The events towards the end of the meeting and anything that happened outside literally i have no recollection of. I may very well have punched her car. I honestly do not recall. The point is the police didn't need to be called. She claimed she didn't know the Domestic thing would happen and she just wanted to report damages. She Apologized for it and asked if i was OK, and she was worried about me.
Last message from her i have ever received.
She believes (or at least claims to believe) that she could get in trouble from the RO as well, and this is not the case, and im fairly certain she has been aware of that. Just using it as an avoidance technique.

At the last hearing for this, which was the first hearing, i was offered a plea deal that was utter garbage, even my L said "Well we finally got an offer, and it [censored], were not taking it"
The "estimate for damages" included a bunch of other things not pertaining to the damages in question, so we rejected that out of hand.


Its her word against mine. No physical evidence other than her report and the dent in the car, which she could have caused (terrible driver, dents all over the car)
Or maybe OM dented it and they blamed it on me. Who TF knows.
My hand didn't hurt the next day, and i went to the hospital to get checked out from my lovely treatment by the Correctional Staff (they kicked the crap out of me)
and the hospital staff didn't say anything about my hand, after a through check over.

So it could turn out 1 of 4 ways as far as i see it.

1.) She shows up, and speaks in court presenting her "evidence". The system fails and i get charged with no real evidence, but this is a BIAS system after all (makes me look forward to D proceedings.....NOT)

2.) She doesn't show up and the case gets dismissed due to complete lack of evidence (my L said this would be the case if she didn't show up) HIGHLY UNLIKELY

3.) She does show up, and doesn't testify or come into the courtroom, like last time (Still not sure if that was her choice or directed by prosecution to do so). Likely continued again if this happens. Please no, i just want this over.

4.) She shows up, comes into court and presents evidence (or lack thereof) and I get found innocent or case dismissed.
This would obviously be ideal.

Just trying to be as ready as i can.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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I ask out of a need for preparation, not hope Sandi.
I need to be able to identify a REAL attempt at R, vs. a second attempt at love bombing and manipulation.

*applies Ice*


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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Quote:
This makes sense, she doesn't know anything else. How long does family believe every man shes dated or friend she has has screwed her over, at what point do that say "well you must be the problem then..."?


How long? IRL cases I've known, the LBS nevers knows if or when or how long it takes her family/friends. I mean, who is going to tell him? Her family? Not likely, no matter how good he was to them. The point I want you to see here is that how much this matters to you that they tell her . These are things you have to let go,


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: sandi2

Not likely, no matter how good he was to them. The point I want you to see here is that how much this matters to you that they tell her . These are things you have to let go


I agree, but its hard. Im a public servant, image matters to me. I spend legitimate effort cultivating a relationship of respect with these people, and she has tarnished it with lies and slander.

Cart full o' horse crap IMO. I get that others opinions don't really matter, as i know my value as does my family and friends. It just pisses me off.
Im not out there making crap up about her, or trying to get to each family and friend of hers to let them know what a POS she has been.
No. Because I am a mature adult.
I was only guilty of one very spiteful FB post back in Jan, which i promptly deleted.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Ok i'm gonna vent.

Both IRL and Here on the board, people talk about "getting over it" and "not thinking about it" like its a lightswitch that can just be flipped on and off to constantly think about my sitch, how i was screwed over and why i shouldn't be holding onto anger.

Sorry, but that's just silly.
Im pissed. And justifiably so.
I got betrayed in the worst way possible, by someone i loved and trusted indefinitely.
There was no long breakdown of our M, we barely had one.

I have every right to be mad about that.
Even after yesterdays meltdown, im mad today.
What she did is crap, its terrible, it is inhuman.
why am i scolded for being effing angry about this?

She pushed for M, she tricked me into being a Dad, and we planned a life. I AM ALLOWED TO BE EFFING ANGRY AT HER, AND AT OM.

And you know what? 2x4 me all you want. I deserve to know where my son sleeps. I deserve to know if OM is brainwashing my child. I deserve to know if they are cultivating a healthy household for him.

F**K WW, F**K OM, F**K her family, they are liars, cheats, and bottom-feeders.

Im entitled to my anger. and im going let it be.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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***FYI this is not directed at anyone here. the first line in previous post may imply that.***

Im just sick of People IRL telling me to "get over it and move on" like giving myself Wife-Amnesia is as easy as changing my damn socks.
Not realistic.

Mind you this advice often comes from happily married people.

Here, try on my size 11's. let me know how the stride feels Mr. Perfect Life
--------------------------

Court has me all worked up. Wish me luck on Sunday, hopefully the Bias court system doesnt Eff me over TOO HARD.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Originally Posted By: sandi2
Quote:
I'm probably going to catch a two-by-four from you on this one but I got to ask, what is the likelihood that I get re idolized by her


(Smack)



Just a thought re the re idolise. Never happened in the first place. You were love bombed.

It's fake love.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Vanilla

Just a thought re the re idolise. Never happened in the first place. You were love bombed.

It's fake love.

V


I cannot be 100% on that unless she were to get an actual diagnosis.

"The Idiots guide to MLC" here on the forums also was an EXACT SCRIPT for what she did. SO it calls into conflict, does she actually do Narcissistic tendencies or is she just a very extreme WW/MLC???

Only her future behavior and a diagnosis could difinitivly answer this question.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Originally Posted By: OrangeK
Originally Posted By: Vanilla

Just a thought re the re idolise. Never happened in the first place. You were love bombed.

It's fake love.

V


I cannot be 100% on that unless she were to get an actual diagnosis.

"The Idiots guide to MLC" here on the forums also was an EXACT SCRIPT for what she did. SO it calls into conflict, does she actually do Narcissistic tendencies or is she just a very extreme WW/MLC???

Only her future behavior and a diagnosis could difinitivly answer this question.



Oh the MLC rubbish. Doesn't exist as a diagnosis. It's old fashioned notion in my view. Poor things trapped in some kind of weird land of MLC. Maybe their hormones made them cheat not their entitled attitude. Maybe they are in a fog? Nope takes effort to be that manipulative, no sign of it when removing their knickers or planning their alternate lives. No sign when they are falsely planning to put you in jail, claim you are unsuitable as a dad or out to harm them.

Nope MLC is not in the DSM, better brains than mine have decided it's nonsense. Sort of like Narnia and going through the cupboard.

WW is a behaviour cluster not a personality issue.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Vanilla

Maybe they are in a fog? Nope takes effort to be that manipulative, no sign of it when removing their knickers or planning their alternate lives. No sign when they are falsely planning to put you in jail, claim you are unsuitable as a dad or out to harm them.
V


"Nope takes effort to be that manipulative"

Good point, i always justified it like she made shitty decisions based on poor thought processes and that she would continue to lie, manipulate and whatnot was just because she was desperately trying to maintain her image and save face rather than face the music and responsibility deal with the ramifications of her actions.
Or god forbid, come and speak to me as her partner when she started becoming unhappy, like a normal adult.

I think she really believed she was in love with me, just like she likely believes she is in love with OM.
She has a limerence issue. I remember her specifically saying "The spark, the butterflies went away, and i dont think theyll come back"

She thinks Limerence is love. She thinks a "CRUSH" is what love feels like. She doesn't know what true, long term, unconditional love is. She thinks she does.
When she has repeated this cycle a few more times i think she might begin to realize its her not others.
We'll see.
As co-parent i have a front seat for the future of her lunacy.

Dunno why im so angry today.
wish i could feed OM a few of his incisors.
ill pretend his face is on my heavy bag.....again.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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