It is our 3rd wedding annv today. I have been dark, and only responding with one words if important for a couple weeks. W just texted me: "I was thinking about you today, and no mater what happens i will always LY."
don't respond to that drivel... she is cruel... she says she knows you deserve better, blah, blah, blah... yet she sends this temp-checking crumb... no matter what happens? that says she knows you have not moved on... that you are still waiting for her... she wants you to say the same back to her... if you had not gotten together with her to divide wedding gifts (3 years later???) you would have been so much further along... you were doing well... even when she tried to squeeze in when your grandmother passed, you handled her well...
in my opinion, you and PsychSara have added months and months to your "recovery" time because you keep engaging with your WW spouses...
don't feed your W's self-centered craziness... stay DARK... honestly, how much important business do you two have between the two of you right now?
Man! i have nothing to add but say that artista captured it perfectly. I am sorry how this has unfolded but this situation has prolonged your healing time. I want to see the pre-dividing gifts Chris come back here and tell us how he's grabbing life by the horns and loving it.
Thanks for the advice. Just mailed it. I will inform you all if I get contacted. Have been dark/NC since last Monday (4/16). When she texted about our anniversary I did not respond. Really nothing to say to her at this point until she proves she wants something.
Gonna maintain GAL, and get back to working on myself.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Really nothing to say to her at this point until she proves she wants something.
this here bothers me... you are still waiting for her... you won't move on while you wait to see if she proves she wants something... she has proven to you that she does not want "something," that something being your marriage... your very young marriage... you two have been mostly separated in your marriage... you went NC, and she played a lot of head games with you... you came back to her, and she pushed you right back out of her everyday life... she followed the script we told you about...
she says she wants better for you because you deserve better... those are just words... she is still self-focused, thinking of herself only... you need to follow her lead and get yourself self-focused... take your eyes off of her... you did it before, and you can do it again...
this is the scary pattern i have come to see here with LBSs... they garner the strength to go NC/dark... they GAL and do 180s for themselves... they begin to feel better about themselves, the Wayward Spouse senses this and decides to pop in... wants to talk... wants to "see" if things can work out... LBSs are warned by other DBers that it's likely just a temp-check, but they still fall for it... they have a day or night or week of bliss with their Wayward Spouse, and then BOOM! Wayward Spouse leaves again... this time the LBS is more broken than before--worse than BD some say... i vividly see that with you and PsySara... each time you go through the cycle, you come back weaker...
stop cycling... do what you did before... make plans with friends... go away for the weekend... GAL... and keep posting here more consistently for the time-being... until you are stronger... you can get there again, Chris...
art - I appreciate the 2x4; and it is taken with much value. The cycle is concerning and am not going to repeat it again. The reason I am hurting now more than I did before is b/c I told myself I would only wait until the end of April and then I would file. I am not ready to file now. So everything maybe got brought up to the forefront of my mind.
I need to get back to focusing on myself, GAL, making a better Chris, figuring out what I want in my life, gaining alpha characteristics, building a confident dynamic with my everyday life, and not detaching.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
