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Wow. Thats just really, really, bizarre. What the hxll is wrong with people out there? And why cant it be our ex's that are going on dates with all these nut jobs?


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
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Originally Posted by JujuB
Wow. Thats just really, really, bizarre. What the hxll is wrong with people out there? And why cant it be our ex's that are going on dates with all these nut jobs?


I second that "what the hxll is wrong with people", Juju. Seriously................what the HXLL is wrong with people. Have we become such a microwave, instant gratification, selfish society that we have just completely forgotten simple things like common courtesy, decency, the nuances of being polite and friendly, but not some overbearing horn dog? Ugh........................


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Some people just can't be explained. I used to be naïve and think there was an obvious reason behind why people do what they do.

But OLD has taught me that there is just no explanation to people's nuttiness.

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Hi Peeps!

It’s been a while since I’ve been here and I wanted to check in. What’s been happening? Oh gosh. Where do I start?

Kids are great. Growing up so fast (sad face). I was looking to be a living donor (May as well do something big while I’m on earth, right?). Gotta be in great health to be a living donor and I passed with flying colors...except I had to get a cyst checked out on a certain part of my body. Then was told must have cyst removed so I’m down an organ and a half. However, 2 weeks after that surgery I develop this hacking cough. No fever and since I’ve never even had strep I’m not sure what to think. Go to doctor 3 times and they say I have a bug. Finally, I tell ex Mr. GB’s mom (who was helping me during recovery) I need to go to ER. I have a collapsed lung and am admitted for 12 days. Oh. And btw, GB, you also have MRSA in your lungs! Go big or go home. I’m an overachiever. Anyhow, I’m recovering and while it was a bit rough, I’m certainly swimsuit ready. Seriously. I look freaking fab in a bikini right now except for all of my new scars And I’ve been approved to be a living donor but I just can’t go there right now.

Ex Mr GB is getting married in a couple of months so he’s certainly had more success than I in the dating department. I dated someone for a couple of months earlier this year and thought this could be a fit. But he “ghosted” mid text. However, he showed back up the night before my first surgery. He said he was falling for me and was nervous. I don’t really believe that , however I was happy to hear him out. He asked if we could meet when I felt better. He was calling and texting while I was in the hospital after the 2nd surgery. However, now that I’m recovered, crickets. Hard pass on this:-) Nearly dying made me realize in addition to not being able to do crazy anymore, I also can’t handle flaky. I just don’t have the fortitude. I would like to find someone. Not willing to put in the effort to OLD right now. So, I’ll just do me.

I love catching up on everyone’s threads. Sounds like peeps are doing awesome and I’m glad to hear that. Hugs to you al!



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Yowzer!!!
Sorry about your health problems! Please put your energies into getting well!

As for being ghosted mid-text - yeah, super flaky red flag. Ghosted after a couple of months dating - ok, could be cold feet, whatever. Ghosted mid-text? Sounds like a guy whose wife came home unexpectedly. No third chances for him.

I got ghosted last year, but kinda different. After the implosion of bipolar crazy exBF, I didn't date for some time, then spent a little time with a Love Avoidant guy I had dated 5 years before. He had always been upfront that he "didn't do relationships" and I had stopped seeing him before I started dating crazy exBF but we stayed friends and spoke occasionally over the years.

He was glad to see me again and I was happy to have some no-pressure comfort. Saw him for a day or two, 3-4 times over about three months. Then zip - nada, no answers to texts or phone calls since last May. I still don't know what happened to him. He lives a couple hours away in a security building, I wasn't about to go stalk him. I didn't see any obituary and a package mailed to his condo (returning a movie he'd lent me) didn't bounce back so I assume he's alive. He's suffered from depression in the past so my best guess is he's back in a funk and just shutting everyone out. I know he was still seeing other women and I wasn't making any demands so I don't think it was that he felt too close to me and got scared. (Also pretty sure he's not married - lives in a sparse one bedroom loft, couldn't hide signs of a wife there.

Anyway, after he ghosted I resigned myself to starting dating again. Started dating a new guy in June, he got diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in September. It's been an adventure.

Take care of yourself and get healthy. Dating can wait a little longer.

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I wouldn’t want to deal with someone that ghosts. It is irresponsible and inconsiderate and really disrespectful. The only good thing is that you find out their true natures via the cowardliness of ghosting. A few months is a long time. Sorry your going through these health issues though.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
#2861738 08/17/19 02:21 PM
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Hi everyone! I can’t find my last thread so I decided to name it after one of my “fold laundry” songs. I wish the song would fold laundry. :-). My peeps are getting so big....16, 14 and 9. They are doing well and complaining about school. What’s new about that, right?

On my previous thread...wherever it is...I told about my near death experience. I’m doing well. Little rib pain and I will have to have a hernia repaired (cry cry cry...no more surgeries) but I do look stellar in a bikini for an old chick. Seriously. Maybe it’s a confidence thing but I *DO* get lots of make attention-usually the under 35 crowd. And we all know what that is.

Ex Mr GB gets married next month. I admit I am struggling. It’s not wanting to be with him...more mourning the loss of what won’t be and hasn’t been. If I’m being totally honest, it’s weird to think about the person you thought you were going to be with for life is marrying someone else. She’s cool and her first marriage. This is his 3rd. He’s very much a romantic so I wish them well. Her mother wanted me to come to the wedding. I politely declined. Hard pass on that.

Relationship wise? Eh. I date some. I’ll be honest. They are generally extremely physically attractive men in their early to mid 30s. There are no legs to those relationships and I don’t delude myself into thinking they are anything. But I’ve been out with firefighters, basketball players, fitness models, actors, etc. I’m every cliche there is. I would like to have an actual relationship but I’m not sure I’m equipped with the appropriate tools right now. Plus, I would have to meet someone. Self deprecating humor aside, life is pretty good.

I think I’m lonely. My circle is tight. I work and hang out with my kids and ex in-laws. But, I do want something more. Just not sure how to get it.



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Welcome back. To find your previous thread, click on your user name, and then click on show forum posts.

I have merged your two threads together for you.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hi everyone,

Happy holidays! Gosh, I’ve been catching up on everyone’s threads. I’ve missed so much.

Life is busy. Kids are great. Dog is spoiled. Work is nutty. House is a mess but I feel good. If I’m being honest and according to the attention I get, I look pretty hot for a 47 yr old. Ha! That makes me sound super egotistical and nothing could be further from the truth. Again, I’m basing it on attention :-) My PT tells me all the guys at the gym and in my nutrition group ask about me. He said he’s never had this happen before. I told him it’s because I’m one of the oldest peeps there. I suspected that they were asking about me, so..... well, my ego is fragile and I’ll take the ego stroke.

It’s a weird time of year although I do enjoy the holidays on some level. I DID remember BD day this year and it kind of hit me. It does SEEM (and I realize that is perception) like everyone is paired up. Many of the guys I met during the spread out 3 months of OLD are now in relationships. Ex Mr GB is married. Ex Bf after Mr GB has a gf. Even the guy I dated for a couple of months earlier this year is with someone. A good friend who hasn’t dated in over 5 years is now in a R. Another friend who had not been on a date in 6 years is now in a R. It IS cuffing season so lots of peeps are paired up. Me? I’m lonely. However, and I don’t think I’ve been in this place before, I’m not sure I have the capacity to date right now. For the first time, I’m not sure I EVER see myself in a relationship again. And that makes me incredibly sad.

I’m one of those weird people who enjoyed OLD. But in full disclosure, I’ve done very little of it. I enjoy meeting people because everyone has a story. And honestly, I NEVER put any expectations on OLD. If I meet someone cool, then I met someone cool. I always had a good time on all of my dates. I realize if I want to date, that is the route I will have to go. Again, no expectations. Occasionally I’ve gone out with men my age or within a few years, most of the men I’ve gone out with have been under 35. Why? All were funny. I’m sure almost all are considered attractive but the real reason is they asked me out. There is nowhere to go with those peeps. Actors. Models. FFs. Former pro athletes. Police Officers. More Actors. I’m not saying those guys aren’t capable of relationships because I’m sure they are. However, those relationships will not be with me and I’m well aware of it. Men with kids generally don’t ask me out although I did go out with a guy who was retired, 49, had a teenager, and was a former gym owner. (Have I told you guys all the guys I attract work out 2 hours a day? This is hilarious because I don’t really enjoy working out. I would rather drink my full fat milk from the jug and wash the cookies down). He was very attractive. Engaging. And polite. And I felt not one darn thing.

Because I’m a cliche, I do have a semi crush on my PT. Don’t all women have a crush on their personal trainer? He’s very sweet and funny. Did I mention he is hot? He is also very concerned about who I go out with and he’s actually called the night of or the next morning after the date. I think he feels bad for me🤷‍♀️ I told him I’m just going through a transition and hopefully I’ll come out on the other side better. I’ll still be single but maybe I can just make peace with some of what I feel because I simply don’t see me ever getting in another R. I teared up writing that and I’m being candid about the way I feel. I miss hugs, kisses and that other physical stuff. Oh well.

Excited though. Ex MR GB has the kids the week after Xmas (he does help if I travel for work provided it doesn’t interfere with his plans) so I’m leaving the country. I’m going to Belize and swim, drink and lounge on the beach for 6 days. I’m ready.

Sending everyone hugs, health and peace. Xo



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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good for you GB! don't worry about a R ..... it'll happen (or not) when and if it's supposed to (at least that is what I tell myself).

You're going to love Belize - snorkeling is fantastic, so I've heard.

Enjoy!!! xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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