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V -
This sounds like clinical depression. And it's wintertime so vitamin D deficiency can contribute to seasonal depression. Are you taking vitamin D? (5,000 IU/d is often effective in this setting). Are you eating adequate protein? Do you have a light box? Have you been on antidepressants in the past?

I know it's hard to exercise right now but remember exercise is an efficient anti-depressant. Start low and slow.

As for financial things - what options are available to you right now to improve your situation? Can you push for a raise at work? Can you take in a roommate to help with the bills? (I'm always surprised at how so few people are willing to do this - it can be really helpful and much easier than working a second job.) Do you have anything you can sell to help you build up a little emergency fund?

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KML

I have thought depression and I had all the blood tests, vit D was very low but is now much higher. It was 12 not 30 but is now 42 so in the normal range. I supplement B vets and omega.

My diet is superb but I am still in the overweight range despite having lost 55lbs and being a UK size 10-12 (US size 6). I was getting fitter and fitter, but aged pa being ill and hours of extra work have set me back. I have a very tiny body frame and overweight looks awful on it.

I don't have a light box, that's something I could think about. I do work and study with a daylight bulb though.

AntiDs had a paradoxical effect and made my anxiety worse, we tried three different types and sadly they didn't help. My doctors have diagnosed anxiety rather than depression and I think that's right as my cortisol level is very very high and I was tested for Cushions. Juicing and fasting does help. I gave up coffee, sugar and alcohol which also assisted. I am type 2 diabetic (genetic B37 variety and my SNPS show carb intolerance) in other words the insulin my body makes is left handed and not as functional.

Studying also helps me and I study at my gym which gets me out and about. Recently there was a problem with my course 4 of the students were caught cheating via a WhatsApp group and the course was suspended. That may mean it's uneconomic for the college to run as there are so few of us left, although the tutor for this phase is prepared to complete her section. That has got me down a great deal too. And means 5 exams are going to be crushed into a short period. Hi Ho!

I love dancing but feel unmotivated sometimes to go, I criticise my own efforts a lot. A great deal of negative self talk which I also tell myself off. I know better than that! So it's back to the drawing board with mindfulness and meditation. I also have the genes for endurance so building other than slow twitch muscle is almost impossible. This V was built to be athletic like aged pa.

I work for myself with my own business and I employ 9 people, so it's important I work very hard. The G stripped the business of all of its cash and left it heavily in debt, he keeps suing for this and that. I fight back but it's expensive, initially I paid him off and kept paying, it was a mistake. I was both frightened and intimidated although now I am not so much. Latest was a large sum he wanted because "you have taken the p*** in paying me and there was no redundancy money". I counter claimed for overpaid sums, unrepaid loans and destruction of business assets. When I have completed my course then I can self represent. I have joined the self represented litigants society.

I have a house mate, it's my clever nephew although he will soon move on to a new assignment. It was intended that aged pa would come when he left hospital, but that is not to be. I will decide soon what I want to do. The big house is up for sale although I would like one more year. The G was going to appeal his settlement but stupidly let time run out and it was dismissed.

Somehow I manage to sneak over the finish line by working long hours. I just want rid of the G. I want him gone, gone, gone. I want the silent calls stopped, the drive by my home, the endless legal action and demands for money. He sued because he and the BIT had no where to live and he had a housing 'need'. Like 25 I had a PI in Italy and found they were living in her house!

It's wearing and unnecessary. It's endless chap, it's distracting and it's costly to fight.

I am not D yet, the G objected to it because he thought he could blackmail me into giving him more cash. I can't unilaterally D him until May 2020 as he keeps objecting. It's just endless cr*p constantly. The trouble is I never know where the next legal attack is coming from. And it costs, costs, costs...........

The last spate had me going back to court to extend the non molestation order to keep him away from me. He sits outside the house and glowers at it. According to him and he haunts the village when he is in the UK, the fact he hasn't had a settlement 'to set him up' has stressed his R with the BIT, means he can't have a UK home and visit his family. He is going to 'pay me back for this'. This is because I am very rich lied to the court and deprived him. If only...........


On the other hand, his golf buddies tell me the G is pretending he has landed on his feet with the BIT! Which is it G, rich BIT or poor G?

Everyday seems like treacle sometimes.

Grief is the icing on the cake. I miss my aged pa every day.

One day at a time. On May 2 2018 certain deadlines will pass and I am expecting preemptive strikes by the G prior to that.

This is the worst period since I left in June 2014.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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V.

Its hard to offer advise because it seems like you are doing everything you possibly can to better your situation. Good self care, furthering your education, hard work, GAL, good legal protection and knowledge.

G is relentless and a huge stress factor. The challenge is finding a way to minimize the mental agony he causes so that you can enjoy life. I know. Not easy. Its like trying to enjoy a lovely picnic on a beautiful day with great friends but with this fly that keeps coming around. Ugh.

Know that we are here for you

Hugs!!!

J


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Thank you Ju

Shift happens in a moment, of course it does.

At the moment I want shift. I work hard and critics myself for not doing enough, or doing enough of the right things.

My chest is very infected and I am tired, I push through it as my standard response. This time I chose sleep as a different mechanism. It wasn't better as a stance and now I am so behind, won't do that again!

So much to do and I can't get going, a friend has invited me to go away for a few days and that is my next choice. Do I go or do I work?

I will go and do some work but only for three days.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Vanilla,

I am so sorry that you are having some issues w/your health. The stress of everything is really taking a toll on your body.

I'm glad to read that you are going to go away w/a friend. You need a change and a bit of rest to recharge your battery.

Please take care of yourself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Lady V...I can't alleviate your stress, but I can tell you that I keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you find a way to get back on track. Take care of yourself, lady!


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
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Hi Lady V , as others have said, not really able to offer any sage advice. The break with a friend sounds like a good idea. The stress you are under is very tough and while you know it will end one day , it is taking a long time. Lots of people are rooting for you and will continue to do so.

Take care , Rd

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Hi Lady V!!!

Sounds like you are really taking up a lot of space in Gs head.I think you will always have the upper hand because you have something that G will never have: you are loved by so many. Money issues, health issues, relationship issues; none of us - including G - will be spared, but at least you are loved. At the end of the day, that will make all the difference.
Also, with the advantage of not being on the board too frequently, I noticed a slight change in the tone of your posts. Sure G is a menace, but it does not seem like you carry the same fear of him you once did. I remember the drive-bys, anonymous texts, and stalking behavior of OM all too well. But, they stopped when I stopped feeding them. It sounds like he escalates his behaviors whenever he wants to draw you in. Don't get drawn in!

All the best, and thanks for checking up on me.

RAI


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Job

My lovelyrics friend has booked us into the Aqua Sana tomorrow and today we are staying in a luxury villa.

The 'Beast' from Siberia is due with snow and ice for three days. On my way here I called at Sainsbury and stocked up on lovely ingredients. Beautiful bread, fish, fresh pasta, veg, salads and cheese. Most of it on discount.

I bought some great wine.

So if we are locked in then I will cook some special meals. Tonight I cooked taggetelli with prawns, monk fish in spicy tomato sauce served with basil and steam green vegetables. Tomorrow I plan to serve Thai chicken with stir fry satay vegetables.

My friend loves my food. The very food the G said was horrid.

It's very pleasing, every country I go to then I make time to learn some cuisine from local chefs. I love that dynamic. I have travelled the spice route and marvel at the delights to be found in every corner of the world.

RD I hope it will end sooner than later. I am very weary of it.

RAI, I am thrilled at your news but as always I treat each of my tribe with care. Please don't rush, take your time, be sure, be very sure. Enough said. I have always admired RAI as a father and man and you are very precious to me. I love the peeps in my tribe and enjoy hearing their up dates. You are right my voice is less afraid of the G. It might be a false bravado as there have been threats although so far they have been limited to legal threats. I was worried when the G split with the BIT, although he may have moved on or even hoovered her back. I am uncertain, his recent pictures show a different woman? Hard to tell, but he is in Italy still I think but returns to the UK often, something is afoot ........

I doubt this will stop as I am NC and the G needs funds.

All my friends tell me I should start to date and I am getting to thinking about it!

I tell myself not too long before I can get free.

More sleep calls.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Originally Posted By: Dawn70
Lady V...I can't alleviate your stress, but I can tell you that I keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you find a way to get back on track. Take care of yourself, lady!


Dawn, my lovely beautiful friend, thank you.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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