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devvo Offline OP
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It's really unclear actually. I've asked my L and I'm yet to get an answer. I've read a couple of cases where things have gone awry for, say, a woman who was a stay at home mum, and who wanted a better settlement after dragging her heels. She didn't get it.

I've also read that the fact there was no property settlement allowed a divorced XH to swoop in on his XW's superannuation fund years and years after agreeing he wouldn't.

I suspect it's just a chance for a free-for-all - especially for the lawyers.


Me:57 H:57
S:25 S:22
M:24 T:26
BD:Aug 15
D:Sep 17
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 191
Likes: 5
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devvo Offline OP
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So here's a quick update.

I think (and I may well be wrong) that XH almost gave me an apology the last time I saw him. That happened in September when I literally (and accidentally grin) ) ran into him in the supermarket with my trolley. To be fair, he *had* failed to make the contact he said he'd make during his last visit to our home town, literally only hours before he boarded the plane, and we still hadn't met to discuss the property settlement as we'd agreed.

Actually, I was very cautious as he had gotten to a very nasty point in the process quite a few months earlier where he threatened to renege on everything we'd agreed, then went further, stating he wanted to force me and our son out of the apartment I jointly own with him. I had waited him out, hoping he'd get over whatever what bugging him, and that turned out to be a good move.

When I ran into him he looked a bit panicky, then quickly let me know he wanted to go back to our original agreement. After I established he meant the one that I was happy with, he promised he'd email a written agreement that I could send to the lawyer to be drafted up for signature. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened, (nor did I think it would), but the positive thing was that he then went on to look very uncomfortable before stuttering and murmuring that he 'didn't mean to cause any grief'. Of course he did - but at least he had the decency to look abashed - and in all my dealings with him that is probably as much as I could ever expect in terms of anything approaching an apology.

Then, on Christmas Day he sent me an unsolicited greeting that was warm and possibly sincere - much more than I've seen out of him for years.

And now, something else has caught my eye.

XH uses Whatsapp, with an accompanying motto that is something pithy and meaningful to him. Since our split in 2015 he's had three.

Up until about 6 months ago it was "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room".

Six months ago it changed to "Every day brings a new opportunity".

Then last week it changed to "And if you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you".

If I didn't know better, I'd swear I was seeing signs of a growing maturity.


Me:57 H:57
S:25 S:22
M:24 T:26
BD:Aug 15
D:Sep 17
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