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lcause Offline OP
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> Let me ask, when you do all this stuff for other people, if you didn't get praise, but you made a difference, would you still do for others?

Yes. I frequently do it. Each and every day at work. I enjoy doing it, random acts of kindness. Say I just take 1-2 minutes of someone else's work and do it for them. I don't have any rush and I'm quick at my job. So I have time to help. I don't expect to get words back each and every time. I'm fine if I hear the appreciation SOMETIMES. I do feel that they are more "open" towards me because of that. And just "wow, thanks" is enough to make me feel super happy about it. I make people laugh with silly stuff too. Sometimes I just buy something for people. E.g. donuts. I do all crazy stuff. smile

Yes. I know it's instant gratification. Not really, our brains are wired to receive massive dopamine spikes from something really hard (e.g. hunting for food and finally getting it). The modern life just destroys us mentally.


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lcause Offline OP
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Holding, thanks for the tip. I guess it could be that... but nothing just feels particularly interesting for me.

Thank you all. I'm going to push for another doc if I'd get Wellbutrin or similar described. I really think I need the initial push from dopamine reuptake inhibitors before I can start acting properly. Just so that I feel confident enough pushing for the CBT stuff. I don't think serotonin is the proper cause. I felt emotional at the beginning, but currently it's more of just anhedonia and accepting my bad position. I haven't really cried in ages, outside of just being this f*cking tired.


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Do you have proof i.e. test results, of how your brain is lacking in certain areas? to explain why you struggle

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It's really hard to prove dopamine deficiency, it doesn't show in blood tests. But it's a pretty good sign if say sex doesn't feel at all important for you or the activities you did enjoy fullest at some point in your life doesn't give ANY satisfaction anymore. I learned how to program at the age of 13 and made professional webpages for my high school when I was 15 (with proper admin panel etc). Now I don't feel ANY interest in doing this, even though time used to fly back then when I was doing it.

It's like everything would feel worthless, no matter how much I have preferred doing it at some point or how much I would want to achieve it. To me, it sounds a lot like an issue in dopamine system based on all the research I've done (funny how this is probably the ONLY thing I'm really able to do, but even going to pursue another doc feels worthless to me smile )

SSRI that is typically prescribed targets to the serotonin system, that which is more related to anxiety and overall "well-being". Dopamine is the neurotransmitter which makes us strive for stuff. Mice that got their dopamine systems destroyed didn't eat even though food was right in front of their faces because they just didn't feel motivated enough - so they died to hunger.

I get that you're questioning it, I don't blame you. I would too. Maybe it is related to how mentally strong I am. Still sleeping only few hours a night and it certainly does not help for this at all.


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Is that a no?

You have taken a very 'full on' approach to your self diagnosis.
With no factual evidence at all.

The only thing convincing you is your interpretation of the feeling it gives you; and how you relate them feelings to the 'known' symptoms.

You do not know. Im NOT saying it isnt. But you do not know.

If losing your marriage etc.. isnt a the biggest rocket up someones arse then I dont know what is. Thats the difference; some people used it to really fight through with proper help and give it 100%, the others dont and simply us it as a 'reason' not to be reaching their potential.

If this is you fighting and giving it 100% then im lost for words. If it isnt worth fighting for.. what are we here for?

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lcause Offline OP
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GTFO from my thread if you have nothing to say than your useless projections on me.

If therapy and seeing a doctor about my issues is "nothing" for you, which I couldn't do for the previous many years - I don't know what is. If you could just immediately "snap" from a depression and start living your life to the fullest, YOU NEVER HAD A PROPER DEPRESSION IN THE FIRST PLACE. Depression is a serious mental illness that can take YEARS to cure. Some people don't get it cured in their ENTIRE LIFE-TIME. I get that you didn't read my posts how I have TRIED to battle it with the doctor but he doesn't seem to be willing to do anything about it.

You just don't say "well just feel better" for a depressed person. That's just immature and doesn't feel like you understand the matter. Do you also say "just stop eating" for an overweight person or "just start sleeping better" for a person with sleeping disorder? A depressed person just doesn't go out doing things because you know why? Ta-dah, he/she is depressed. That's the entire GIST of the illness, for crying out loud.


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LC, it's obvious you're hurting. But Benito is only trying to help, so it's not fair to lash out at him. I hope you can appreciate the effort he's making.

We can see how badly your depression is affecting you. It seems like you just want to throw in the towel on getting it addressed, like you've given up on any possible fix.

Don't give up.


Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

Your future is out there. Go find it.
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lcause Offline OP
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I seriously can't. Because he is undermining my issues so hard. The fact that he uses people who have their sh1t worse than I do as an evidence to support his claim is alone a pretty big red flag that he doesn't know how to support people. That does NOTHING but make me feel like my issues are WORTHLESS to him. Like it means jacksh1t. It's better if he stays off, because those comments just aren't helpful.


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Hi Holding,

Thanks for your comment.

I look at gingers comment earlier in this thread and can see that when some people are pushed into a corner, like her, with depression, a child to look after and job to uphold, she pushed through the hurt and pain to create a better life for herself. This is exactly the right frame of mind to have and the ONLY way to succeed when we are faced with such adversity.

No excuses or reasons why - Just a fight back to the life she wanted. Nothing would keep her down.

IMO LC has now fell into the - I'm a 'depressed person' - That’s my identity now. I have no power.

The problem is when people fall into the 'no power' game. Its easy to do this as the person takes no responsibility for their situation and would rather spend time and efforts researching the reason why, rather than living in the moment, accepting what is, and moving on regardless. What they fail to realise that irrelevant or not if they have the best excuse in the world.. It is still NO excuse for not living the life you want to live. The clock will keep on ticking regardless and its another day wasted focusing on reasons why and the only person who loses is LC.

Cant sleep / no energy / no passion = Fight through it, get up and make something happen.

Or take the easy route (give up) and blame something for feeling that way.

A few posts ago he were told this :

Originally Posted By: lcause
Thanks. It really was a flip of a switch. And reframing let me see how many positives this has. I'm not a match with this woman and I now believe I've been depressed due to our R. So it is better for both of us.


As he states above he believes the relationship MADE him depressed. So was it the chemical imbalance or was it the relationship? - Either way its once again pointing fingers away from himself.

I asked for factual information yesterday. But I received abuse back because it challenged his belief system. LC you seem to have gone from someone who is struggling to get out of bed until 4pm in the afternoon, to someone who is now a brain chemistry expert with no factual evidence to back this up. Once again as per your previous threads, it very much seems like you are trying to convince us/yourself of why you are feeling down - rather than putting in the hard effort required to heal because you get no pleasure from it.

Your reasoning is "I get no rewarding feeling from doing things that other people do" - are you an expert on the brain chemistry of others now?.. How do you know what others feel when they do something? - Is it not a possibility that people have felt similar to you and battled through the periods of no joy, until things have started to turn around?. How much chemicals are released in my brain when I started here? You have no idea - but still you think your situation is different - because it gives you a 'valid' reason to stay in the hole you are in.

You are giving people advise on other threads, about how bad it is to jump into another relationship straight away, and then on this thread you try to convince us that you have done more research that actually suggests a few random relationships will actually help the healing process. You are giving advise one way and then completely doing something different yourself, which others on here have already picked you up for.

LC you are so wrapped up in your own "story of me" and how this affliction you have is causing your brain to rob you of all of the pleasures in life that have convinced yourself that you have no choice/option/hope.

What it seems you want is people to feel sorry for you, while you go onto other peoples threads and give them advise that you are not following yourself.

Your posts jump from "I'm happy now I have learned about reframing", "I want to start acting" etc.., then it all changes a few days later and your back to square one and you cant even get out of bed and nothing makes you happy anymore, when a few days earlier you were saying you have never felt more alive and positive about the future.

There are people taking time out of their busy day to offer help and advise in the hope that it helps someone improve their situation.

Why don't you actually stop jumping from one idea to another, i.e. uni, acting, reframing, neurotransmitters etc.. Etc.. And just get back to basics.

Piece of paper and write down some goals and be honest with yourself and write down the steps it will take to reach of those goals and follow it through? - without blaming or pointing fingers at 'how hard it is' or 'how tired you are'?

In conclusion, if you want to a totally honest view on something you can get it if you really want it. i.e. You might think your diet is ok.. But a look the mirror will tell you how good it actually is - the muffin top says otherwise. Now its time to diet.

In relation to your life at the moment from the information you have given us; you don’t live in your own home, you have a job you don’t like, you don’t like spending time with friends and the mother of your children is with other man. That’s the factual (none judgemental) situation you are in.

Without blaming dopamine or depression, ask yourself why you are were you are.

This certainly might not be the helpful post you require as it doesn’t allow you to continue to wallow- But I know for a fact this is the approach that was given to me by other Vet members on this board, and despite the tears and lack of reward system in my brain I battled through and am very glad I did so. So I know the approach works.


Take it or leave it because its your life you are the one that feels powerless and depressed.

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lcause Offline OP
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Requesting my threads to be taken down.


In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced
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