A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


Save your marriage singlehandedly
with Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching
SPECIAL APRIL OFFER -- SAVE $40
THREE DIVORCE BUSTING TELEPHONE COACHING SESSION FOR ONLY $350
CALL 303-444-7004 and mention this offer
or use code: SAVE_$40 in the Divorce Busting Store

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: T384] #2762379
09/19/17 10:57 AM
09/19/17 10:57 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
S
sandi2 Offline
Member
sandi2  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Quote:
And now for the drum roll ... he's moving there. My attorney told me a couple weeks ago and I'm still processing it. Anyway, long story short he's wanting to get the D over with ASAP because he's moving there. He's already working in one of his work locations up there that he will transfer to.


Lifelong patterns are hard to break.

Quote:
On a happy note... for those of you that love Train- she is sweeter and more awesome in person! I am seriously so thankful for her and all of you by she has been my one on one Dr. Phil her family is pretty awesome too, even her husband:)


I knew I liked that gal, and you too! Both of you are amazing.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: sandi2] #2762398
09/19/17 01:47 PM
09/19/17 01:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
Member
T384  Offline OP
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Hi all,

Struggling due to legal things and feeling frustrated with my attorney but doing okay. No closer to temp support like she promised within 30 days of filing (my court date is for November so essentially 90 days). H didn't agree to the emergency stip (shocker).

Sandi- we totally talked about you and how we definitely need to meet you no discussions lol! .


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: T384] #2762404
09/19/17 04:30 PM
09/19/17 04:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
Member
25yearsmlc  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
T3

fwiw, my attorney's said the "usual" temporary support hearing is 3-4 months BUT b/c I had medical issues, they thought it could be faster,

Filed mid October, the hearing was the END of January...so 3.5 months. Not faster.

If I had it all to do over again, I would probably interview more attorneys (I met 3)

but then again, I would not have gotten sick either.

H reached out to my brother (an attorney) last week. Seems he's as tired of the legal costs as I am, or more so.

One the problem h will have (that I won't) is his being in contempt of court. (times 3 by my count)

Which supposedly means he will pay all our legal fees, which would be something...


UGH, as a L myself, I can see so much more clearly why people get frustrated with this - so much so that they give up. I'm pretty amazed at what I'm learning.


Even so, I hope you will not give up- and here is why...because

This is the most important financial transaction of your life. Please remember to treat it as such, even when it gets really challenging.

FWIW Chances are that your h won't enjoy it much either.

((( )))

Last edited by Cadet; 09/20/17 12:33 AM. Reason: start a new thread message

M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2762453
09/20/17 02:52 AM
09/20/17 02:52 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,153
B
BluWave Offline
Member
BluWave  Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,153
T,

I hope you and the kiddos are home safe now! I am shocked (but then not really) at your H and his egregious behavior! It's so far out there it's almost laughable, but I think "pitiful" is a more suitable description of him.

So he is basically running from his entire life and wants to start over with some OW far away? He is giving up spending time with the most important thing (his R with his 3 sons) for some floozy? And this is a repeat offense? This speaks volumes about his character! I also think we all know how that's going to end. My hope for you is that in the mean time you can genuinely detach from him and the idea of even wanting him back. That way when he comes crawling back in a year or what have you, you can put your hand up and feel great about it!

It's mostly unfortunate for the boys that they will not have their dad around; young kids need frequency and consistency. The reality tho, is even if he has been around in the last while, he has not been present for them: he has been distracted and self centered. I am suggesting that the loss of him (and even for them) may not be as great as it seems. And the benefit to you--not having the stress of him coming/going--might be a huge relief in the coming months/year. You have wonderful support around you and you and the boys will be just fine!

Keep us posted :-)
Blu


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2762458
09/20/17 03:20 AM
09/20/17 03:20 AM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 561
Alabama
L
leahsue Offline
Member
leahsue  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 561
Alabama
Sorry you're struggling T, but so glad you checked in. I get concerned when someone stops dropping by without notice. Take care of you! smile

Last edited by Cadet; 09/20/17 03:28 AM. Reason: start a new thread message

M-60 H-51
M-14 years
BD 12/26/16
S 1/1/17

"First the pain, then the rising."
Glennon Doyle Melton

Re: Attaining MEH [Re: leahsue] #2762851
09/22/17 02:30 PM
09/22/17 02:30 PM
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 229
S
skyhigh Offline
Member
skyhigh  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 229
T,

You have rights and your rights will be recognized in court, so it doesn't matter what he thinks or wants. He is in la la land/limerence or whatever it is. He left to go live in another state which is somehow going to help you to gain hopefully full custody of your sons.
May be he needs to go live his "dream life" to realize after a while what he lost, reality is going to hit him in a few weeks or months, by being away from you he won't be able to blame you anymore for whatever is going wrong in his life.

Take care of yourself, finish your studies and find peace.


Me 52+ WH 57+
Married 20 +
Piecing since 2016 (ready to give up...)
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: skyhigh] #2762900
09/23/17 06:18 AM
09/23/17 06:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
Member
25yearsmlc  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
T3

keep informed with your L, and keep your L informed. (My L told me last night that some of her clients cry and hang up on her b/c they don't want to deal with the reality of this horror.) You are not putting your head in the sand, however.

So if your h plans to move out of state, please make sure you know where ALL the money is (and where it has been the past year)

You don't want to deal with a year like my past one.

Cheers to us all having a better one cool

((( )))



Last edited by Cadet; 09/23/17 07:31 AM. Reason: start a new thread message

M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004