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A Message from Michele
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Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2756272
08/13/17 02:25 AM
08/13/17 02:25 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,889
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Georgiabelle Offline
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Georgiabelle  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,889
I'm sorry about that, Sunny. Relationships are difficult but they seem particularly challenging at this point in life when you factor in work, schedules, kids, distance and then there is the simple fact of getting to know the other person. Yeesh.

Hope you had fun on vacation. Glad you are doing well. Sending you a hug!


Me-42 xh-41
3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: Georgiabelle] #2756279
08/13/17 03:42 AM
08/13/17 03:42 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,520
K
kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,520
Aww, I'm sorry about that. It is an additional factor about dating in midlife - what stage of life are you and a partner in? Two people could be the same age, but one is retired and wants to travel the world, while the other has a teen and still needs to work. They're just not at the same place, and that's not really reconcilable for many people.

(Not that similar issues don't crop up in married people too. I have an employee in her fifties. Her husband has retired early. He wants her to quit and be retired with him - but this is only doable if they sell their house and move to another state, far from their four grandchildren who they adore spending time with. She'd rather stay here, work longer and be with family, but he's depressed and looking for the move to make him happy.

I've thought about this some because many men in my dating age range might already be retired, but I'm not going to be able to retire for at least a few more years - and I might choose to work longer. I just wouldn't be a fit for some guy who is already retired unless he's a loner homebody - in which case he might not be a fit for me lol!

It's not personal, and the good thing about dating at midlife, is you come to realize you don't want to date someone who isn't willing to put out the effort to be with you. I think your analysis is correct - this guy had an image of the life he wanted and wanted someone who could fit easily into that slot. Doesn't make him a bad person. Just not a fit.

I dated a few avoidant guys after my divorce. One of the things that sold me on my last boyfriend (even though he turned out to have serious issues) was that he was willing to put out the effort to travel to see me. You deserve a guy who is willing to put out the effort to woo you,

Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: kml] #2756451
08/14/17 02:17 PM
08/14/17 02:17 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4,792
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Ginger1 Online
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Ginger1  Online
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4,792
Oh Sunny. I am sorry:( Dating at different stages in our life can be difficult. I know personally finding someone in a similar stage in life has been challenging. Good for you for doing what you need to do by your daughter and for yourself. I know you will be fine, but I also know it [censored]. Keep surrounding yourself with your friends and do the things you love.

Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: Ginger1] #2757145
08/19/17 04:10 PM
08/19/17 04:10 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,708
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Zues126 Offline
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Zues126  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,708
Bummer Sunny. I can appreciate the fact this guy wanted to sail around the world with you. I'm just a little surprised that he wouldn't re-prioritize or compromise a bit. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, I don't think you would've been with him if he was. I just don't understand how someone could've been in SunnyB's life and not realized how fortunate they were.

Enjoy some time with your friends and don't make the mistake of thinking you're alone. As long as you have internet you'll always have a lot of people in your corner here.


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: Zues126] #2757191
08/20/17 06:27 AM
08/20/17 06:27 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
FL
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SunnyB Offline OP
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SunnyB  Offline OP
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
FL
Thanks Georgiabelle, KLM, Ginger and Zues. I appreciate all the uplifting words. I'm still moping a bit, mostly on Sundays, having a lazy Sunday morning with MyCutie is something I sincerely miss.

I filled up the two weeks of my girls being gone with a lot of friend activity. Happy hours, dinners, even went to an escape room. It's not hard to stay busy. My youngest came back from TX on Friday, she starts high school tomorrow. Life is about to get a lot more routine, and that's fine.

Zues, your comment about wanting to sail around the world is dead on. We were going to go to the sailboat show in Annapolis in October. Now I'm going to the Epcot Food and Wine Fest with friends instead. Open invitation to meet me there. :-)



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2760120
09/06/17 02:18 PM
09/06/17 02:18 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
FL
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SunnyB Offline OP
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SunnyB  Offline OP
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S
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
FL
This is a hurricane update specifically for Zues. No, I'm not going to evacuate. Yes, I'll be fine. I'm a tough cookie. The rest of you know where to find me.

smile



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2760139
09/06/17 05:31 PM
09/06/17 05:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,520
K
kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,520
Please look at pictures of the devastation of Hirricane Andrew and reconsider.

Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: kml] #2760140
09/06/17 05:33 PM
09/06/17 05:33 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,520
K
kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,520
Hurricane. I'm a lousy phone typist

Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: kml] #2760151
09/06/17 10:21 PM
09/06/17 10:21 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
FL
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SunnyB Offline OP
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SunnyB  Offline OP
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
FL
I was here for Andrew. I have family in Rockport TX. I am well acquainted with what a hurricane can do.

I appreciate your concern. I'll be ok. I'm not in a mandatory evacuation zone and I have my supplies. If I need to leave after, I will.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2760218
09/07/17 04:15 AM
09/07/17 04:15 AM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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doodler Offline
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doodler  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
I grew up in Miami. I remember my grandparents, and other old-timers, who used to pronounce hurricane like hair-i-cun.

We had several hurricanes blow through when I was relatively young. There was always a sense of excitement and I can remember the warm still air before the storm hit. My dad would cook on the Coleman stove and we'd look out peep-holes in the shutters and watch the effects of the wind and blowing rain. Good memories of stormy weather...

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