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A Message from Michele
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Hi all,

Doing as okay as can be expected.

Sandi I am so sorry to hear of your D frown

And you should Know better then to think I would EVER resent you do anything you say to me .... we've been through this long enough together for me to know you have the best intentions for me smile


Without getting into too much detail (I am in the midst of filling out my financial affidavit what fun) things have changed around here ... we're following the same
Course of events as last time. OKAY I KNOW I KNOW, don't compare it to last time. I can't help it. It's eery how similar his behavior is.

I recently made a new friend that has helped me tremendously these last few days. I've started to stand up to H's bullish!t since S7's birthday. Sandi you'd be proud I think smile

He obviously has forgotten this version of me because he didn't respond well to my lack of sympathy for his sh!t. But I'm starting to find who I was that I've lost during all of this becoming this meek wife that was afraid to push him the wrong way. Now I am fighting for what's right for the kids and I regardless of how he views me.

He's threatened taking my truck, says he's not giving me any money. Blah blah blah. Says he has no money, etc etc. I responded how he could travel to PA if he's broke. Apparently his work chipped in and paid for his trip AWWWW!!! I mean I just laughed that he thinks I believe that. But I told him maybe his workn'buddies' could chip in for the school supplies for the boys that he said he couldn't pay for smile

Anyway, off to my lawyer. Oh and H wants to sit down and talk to go over the future and finances. I told him if I had time in my schedule. I'm busy with work school the baby the boys soccer etc. That's when he threatened lawyers. I said go ahead smile


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
T384 #2756437 08/14/17 12:11 PM
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Sandi,

I, too, did not realize that you lost your D. I just got caught up here, and my heart broke into a hundred pieces the moment I read it.

I also know that she must have felt so incredibly loved and supported by her parents ... and especially her mom.

I'm just so sorry.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Train #2756447 08/14/17 02:05 PM
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Sandi, of course I don't know you, but reading that was a dagger in my heart, and I just want to say I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I have 3 Ds myself and they are the world to me. I know I can recover losing my H but I could not wrap mind around losing one of my Ds. ((()))) Thank you as always for sharing with us and leading the way.

T, I am so glad at how strong you sound and feel in this post! We all believe in you! Whenever you feel low and self doubt, just accept it, but also remember that YOU ARE STRONG and IT IS IN YOU! As time goes by there will be more and more days that you can detach, rise above his BS, and be the woman that you want to be. Remember these moments--big and small--of how you felt after you became the T that you wanted to be. His reactions--wahhhh wwwhhaaa whhaaaaaa--don't matter or control you and your choices anymore! You keep being you despite him.

You got this lady!
Blu


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
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Quote:
Somehow I missed that your dear daughter passed away. OMG, what??
I'm so terribly sad for you and your h. It is the worst kind of loss. It's "out of order" in nature.


Thank you, 25. Yes, I lost my mother and in less than 12 months later, we lost our D. She suffered so badly the past several years, she really had very little quality of life. I lost the two most important females in my life less than a year apart.

Quote:
RE Your former sonInLaw - bad news that he is, has lost a treasure in your daughter and a lifetime of honor as a husband and father. And he is married to an OW, a woman another person living a life without honor as a mother or woman. I'd hate to be her friend or sister (or kid). Ugh...I would be banned if I wrote out what I think of them.


It was very painful for our entire family, b/c we treated him like a son. Our D was blessed some years later when she married again. This H was mature enough to take care of her and deal with her disease, and he wasn't out chasing skirts. He made her happy and was with her till the end. So, I agree with your statement about good men are still out there.

Thanks for caring.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
BluWave #2756568 08/15/17 05:46 AM
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Thank you Train and BluWave. That means a lot to me.

Quote from T:
Quote:
He obviously has forgotten this version of me because he didn't respond well to my lack of sympathy for his sh!t. But I'm starting to find who I was that I've lost during all of this becoming this meek wife that was afraid to push him the wrong way. Now I am fighting for what's right for the kids and I regardless of how he views me.


This is terrific news! We all knew you had it in ya........it's just that you've been in a vulnerable state the past several months. Yes, I am quite proud you, T. smile


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #2756736 08/16/17 01:23 PM
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Sandi- I'm so sorry to hear I can't imagine losing my mom and a child especially so close together. I'm glad she met someone that appreciated and loved her for better or worse.

Well H found out somehow I filed. My attorney got a call from an attorney very shortly after the petition posted online this morning from an attorney claiming to represent H. He accepted service of the petition so H won't be served at work nor is he surprised. Just another frustrating aspect of more crap going his way.

I didn't get any word from him. He came home as normal. Acting like nothing.

He came in the boys room where we were hanging said hi and participated in a little conversation then went showered and asked to hold the baby and is out there to himself.

I also shut his phone off today and changed some of the locks but not the front door. My attorney said I could and I planned on it because I honestly didn't think he would come here.

I haven't let on that I'm frustrated but my blood is boiling inside. I want to ask him to leave. I need him out of the house. I am losing my mind.


He came to soccer practice the other night and he never shows up there so he's putting on his dad of the year [censored]. Then he holds the baby the whole time when he never holds the baby at home. He's held the baby more since Sunday than he has since he was born. After soccer he didn't come home til 1030 at night... soccer ended at 730. I didn't say anything but I don't know how much longer I can take of this.


Any advice is appreciated.


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
T384 #2756741 08/16/17 03:49 PM
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why can't you ask him to leave? Worst case scenario is that he refused till he's ready, which is what is happening already...

OR ask your L to contact his. In some states there are semi automatic restraining orders upon request. Even if only for 10 days...

I don't think either of these ^^ options are worse than just letting him remain indefinitely.

((( )))


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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PS

You gotta give your h credit for his image management. Suddenly he's Father of the Year?

How nice that you have some public events wherein he can act like a parent... cry

I'd try to savor the moments. They won't last forever.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Well, I guess it tells you he already had a L...so you can expect him to behave like a duplicitous s**t without the b***s to talk to you directly about a plan to protect his family...and a big sign from the universe that you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Check with your L on how you can get him out of the house now. You need some control and a sense of safety, and your H is not going to suddenly start acting decently. I suspect if you asked him to leave he'd refuse just to be an entitled asshat. And protect yourself financially.

I'm sorry. I know that even if your M had to end, this isn't the way you'd choose.


Me: 53 H:38
T:20 M:14
BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression
S 1/16
PA 4/16
H filed 1/17

Treasur #2756751 08/16/17 05:26 PM
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Unless someone in your inner circle said something, I'm guessing he was preparing to file and his attorney checked or gets an update of filings from the court. I agree with Treasur, he was trying to surprise you and you beat him to the punch. Whether you got to see it or not, I'm sure he had an oh sh$t moment when his lawyer called and told him.

Get him out of the house. Since he knows, tell him to get out and then change the locks. Not a safe situation and no reason for him to be there. He can do his public baby holding and leave you in peace.

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