Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
Cali,
I, too, am sorry it came to a divorce, but you fought long and hard for your marriage. Now, your next chapter to your life's book can be written w/a clean slate. I can't wait to see what you do in the near future.

I am so glad you are getting a new place. It's the start of many new beginnings for you. The financial cloud isn't so heavy now and you can begin to think of things that you would like to do w/the money as time marches on.

Cali, your xw was a fool...but she may figure that out in the future. For now...continue moving forward and enjoy your new found freedom and the new beginning.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 181
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 181
Cali,

There was a quote I saw from Jung that hit after reading your update.

"Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health"

Your journey should be inspiring to those that come next on these boards.

Mirage

Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 2,605
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 2,605
Cali,

As Mirage notes, you do inspire others like me so want to add my thanks that you continue to post your own story as well as offer advice to lost souls like me.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
Hi Cali,

Thank you for dropping by with your update. I am sad to read that after how hard and long you stood for your m, it has ended this way. But as you point out, you have become a very different version of yourself, you shed the skin of Cali 1.0 long ago and have evolved in to ....well we must be on Cali 3.0 by now I think!!

I have been with you on your journey for a long time and ridden the highs and lows with you, I have cheered from the sidelines with my everso colourful pom poms, and you have been with me on my journey, being my support, my confidant and hitting me with the odd reality check when I needed one. Cali, thank you for allowing me to be in your life, I quite understand if you do step away from here, but would be so happy to hear how you are doing from time to time and also as always appreciate your wise wisdom and advice.

Your state of Limbo is now over and I wish you so much happiness and internal peace moving forwards.

[[hugs to you Cali ]] xoxo

Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
S
SBJ Offline
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
Cali, sorry on the finality of your d, but I concur with the weird elated feeling after the papers were signed. My sitch was much shorter than yours from BD to D and I simply don't know which is best, but I want you to know that you and your son are in my prayers daily.

Thank you for all of your support to not only me, but to everyone here. I'm confident that all of the people here are better for getting your advice and a 2x4 here and there.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Hi Cali, I'm sorry to read that your divorce was finalised. As others have said, I truly feel that you gave your all to trying to save your marriage, and there is much peace in knowing that.

I agree that Cali 2.0 may be an underestimation! You have come a long way and I always find your postings to be wise, thoughtful and kind. Always worth reading.

Whilst you didn't save your marriage, you are someone who faced a truly tough situation and have managed to work your way through it with dignity and strength. A true success story in so many ways.

I am glad for you that the burden is lifted and, whilst sad, I felt the same and the divorce finalising did help me move further forward. I hope you'll continue to post and offer your sage advice to others as you truly are a gem on this forum.

I look forward to hearing how the next chapter of your life unfolds my friend xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,447
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,447
Cali, I know you never wanted this and fought hard for your marriage. I am sorry it came to this and will always respect and admire your class and dignity throughout it.

To not have this hanging over your head, to know where you stand, must be refreshing. As I never wanted to be divorced either, I envy that place.

You now have a blank page before you, with super Cali powers and wisdom under your belt. I have no doubt that amazing things are in your future. Take your time to adjust and hopefully enjoy the freedom to begin a new life for you and S. I look forward to hearing about your new adventures.

Sending big hugs your way and thank you for your continued support.

M


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,065
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,065
Hi Cali, I too am sorry to hear that your divorce is final. You have travelled a long and sometimes difficult road but hopefully you have now come to a new stretch of road with some exciting and happy times ahead.

(((Cali)))


Me - 47
H - 45
D-16
M - 6 years
Separated - May 16

Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,597
Likes: 2
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,597
Likes: 2
Cali - just want to say that you shouldered more than your fair share when it came to standing. Like so many others here, you learned to re-build from this huge mess that is her life.

Thank you for all the advice you've always given me. I wish you continued strength, growth and peace.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 726
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 726
Hi Cali

So sorry man. You are an amazing guy. She lost big time.
I don’t see your story as a failure here. Yes when I first came here I saw hope in your story. I hoped you would get your family back. It gave me hope for mine.

When it didn’t happen and now the divorce not once did I think you failed.

I got to know a man who I admire. The strength that you show is what I saw in your journey. You win my friend. She lost.

Take care
Irish


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Page 4 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard