^What he said. Sign up and look for him or me. You'll find it to be a better fit.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I really feel for you guys and for all of the LBS here who've had to deal with infidelity.
The OM stuff isn't so bad; it's just the particular OM my wife chose. The guy has man-b00bs so big that he needs a bra and he can't count to 20 without using all of his fingers and toes. I was replaced with that?
Happens to the best of us
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
Hey guys -- long time no see. I had to step back from this forum, as it was making me sad to read all of the LBS posts, never stopping, seemingly always a new crop of people done wrong and suffering, all saying the same thing, thinking maybe they can save their marriages . . .
Anyway, I'm divorced. It was effective 2 weeks ago today. She moved out May 20th, and we've been doing the shared custody thing. I miss my kids a lot when they're with her. I rarely miss her. I did have a bit of a setback last week when I took the kids to her house to drop them off, and my S10 gave me a quick tour of his new place. He took me into the area where she has her computer set up and, before I knew what I was seeing, I spied a list of password reminders, one of which is to her match.com account. The password she uses is the date our divorce went final. I felt bummed for a few days after that but am back doing my thing now. I don't really understand celebrating the date you legally gave up half of your children's childhoods, but then I don't understand her at all, anymore, and haven't for a long time.
Overall, things are better since we've moved apart. A lot better. It was such a demoralizing, demeaning place to be, always getting the signal, overt or not so, but always there, that she didn't think I wasn't good enough, that she'd made a mistake, etc. I lived with that way, way too long.
The kids seem to be doing ok with all of this. I'm keeping my eye on them but, for now, they seem ok, and that's all you can hope for anytime, regardless of your marital status. Obviously I'm going to keep that my focus.
I wish I had something more uplifting to say. I see some posts from some former LBS indicating that they're happier than they've ever been. I can't say that's my truth. I was happier when my W was still in the marriage than I am now. But I'm a lot happier than I was in our long, long in-house separation, and I'll get there, eventually. Still GALing, still throwing myself all in with my children. Teaching myself how to cook and run a home -- it's all pretty great if you stay in the moment.
I hope you all are doing well, and I'll try to catch up on your sitches.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
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Last edited by Cadet; 07/18/1709:50 PM.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
