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Sunny, I am very happy to hear how good things are going for you and that you have found someone you are enjoying spending time with. It sounds like he gives you time and attention and you do some fun stuff.
Thanks, Ginger! I am getting along very well with MyCutie, we spent most of this weekend together. Somehow we are figuring out the distance thing, even though it's not ideal. It forces us to take things slowly, we talk on the phone a great deal, maybe more than we would if we lived closer. Overall, not a bad thing. But I'm not sure I see us still doing this in a year, I'm not entirely sure. But I'm not willing to break it off because of that, I'm willing to give it time and see how we manage to integrate our lives. In the meantime, I have never felt so much myself and so taken care of in my life.
We had a conversation this weekend about goals and he has some clear ones in regards to his career and lifestyle. He wants someone to share those things with. I'm not as clear about my goals, and it's not that his are different than mine, but I am no longer willing to set my goals aside for someone like I did when I was married. I'll support his goals, but I need to give some thought about what mine are and how those could fit together. I will never set myself aside again, and MyCutie wouldn't expect me to.
My D19 is coming home from college today (Mr P went up to get help her move) and my S21 will be home next week. That will be a different dynamic having three kids in the house again. But I'll happily squeeze out one more summer with them.
Georgiabelle! So nice to hear from you. How are things? Have you posted an update, I'll have to go look.
Both my college kiddos are home now, so it's a full house. MyCutie's birthday is tomorrow, and we are headed to the Keys this weekend. I am so looking forward to that. Nothing else new with me. It's all good.
OK Sunny, I posted my updates, time for yours. I had to dig this thread up from underneath a T-Rex skeleton!
Yeah......I've postponed an update because I just have nothing exciting to say. I really don't.
My college kiddos have been home for weeks now, it's different having a full house again and there have been a few adjustments, but overall it's a good thing. S21 will be here another week and then he's heading back to his college town for the rest of the summer. D19 will be here until August, and of course D14 is here all the time.
Work is fine, nothing new there. It's my company's 50th anniversary year and theres a gala in August to celebrate. I have known about it a while but just asked MyCutie this weekend to attend with me. Which brings me to....
MyCutie and I are coming up on four months together. We're taking it slow, and I'll admit some of that is due to distance and conflicting work schedules. But that's ok, I'm not in a hurry. Earlier today he was talking about something he wanted to go to in Annapolis and he was saying that he could drive up and spend a few days and I could fly up for the weekend and meet him there. And I realized he was talking about October. That was nice. We had some good conversations this weekend. He's had a very different life than I've had up to this point, and some of his stories are way out of my experience. Still, he feels safe and solid and I"m happy for now.
Mr. P and the duck bought a house together and I've had even less to do with him since then. I took his house key back, made it clear that he wasn't to come in my house without my express permission, and I rarely talk to him outside conducting kid logistics and business. When we do, we are friendly, but I just don't care to have much to do with him. The kids have all been frustrated with him over various things recently, and they'll vent to me, but I don't get in the middle of it. He's showing who he is to them, and they know I'll be there for them when he's not. That's the way it's always been, this is just another level of it. Still, I'm grateful that they get along with him at all, and I gave them some $$ to take him to dinner tonight for Father's Day. Sadly, my money also paid for the duck's dinner but that couldn't be helped.
I was emailing a friend today and he had asked about MyCutie and I was trying to explain the difference between dating in my 20s and now, 30 years later. It's so much harder now, and so much easier at the same time. It's harder to find guys that's aren't carrying a ton of baggage who are interested in a woman my age and not in a boy toy kind of way. Lol. And it's easier because I'm much clearer on my deal breakers and at the same time my circle is so much wider. I'm not looking for someone who can support me or father my children. MyCutie is not someone I would have considered in my 20s. But here he is.
It's not all roses. I'm learning he can be very moody. He tends to man-cave from time to time and questions our relationship when he does. We are in fact very different people, we have really different backgrounds, we come from different cultures. Some of my family won't accept him and he knows it. And it may not work out in the long run. But I find myself looking at this all as a learning experience. Whether my newly gained knowledge will apply to my relationship with MyCutie or some other remains to be seen. The crazy part is that im ok with either.
Time for an update. The last paragraph on my last post turned out to be prophetic. MyCutie broke it off with me the day before we hit the five month mark. He couldn't get over the distance, schedule difference, and timeframe for the future. He wanted more of me than I had to give. He wanted more of my time when the distance between us is an hour. He was ready to go off on long adventures, I need to get a teenager through high school. I get it. I wanted those things too, but was coming at it from a different angle. I thought I had found someone I could plan a joint future with, and it seems he already had a future planned and just needed someone to drop into it. And I didn't fit.
I've done some moping, but I'm ok. The ironic part is that he dumped me two days before my girls went on vacation, so I had the most free time I was ever going to have. I had been looking forward to spending it with him all summer.
So, life goes on. I work, I hang with friends, I have some projects planned around the house. I'm grateful for all the good. When I find a guy who wants to build a future with me, I'll be grateful for that too. Until then, I'm just fine.