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JujuB #2726417 01/19/17 07:06 PM
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Thank you for your kind words JuJu.

MyNica and I texted a bit this past weekend because I apparently backpocket dialed him and he texted to see if I was ok. This weekend will be a year since our first date. I'm finally able to look at these things objectively and see them as bittersweet and not just painful. I'm getting there.

I still haven't been out with anyone else, I'm trying to learn to just be. I still have lessons to learn.

I think I might go to the rodeo this weekend. How's that for trying something new?



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The rodeo was fun. It was a beautiful day to be outside, I met up with some friends, and it was great. My Nica texted me this morning, it's been a year since our first date. We both reflected a little on the year and how our relationship changed both of us for the better. And I am feeling ok about it all. I think I'm almost ready to date again, too bad I didn't meet a cowboy today! Lol



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I seem to go in phases where I post a bit more and then I post a bit less. Hoping this is true for you and you'll swing back when the timing is right. This place starts to feel like family. Even if you know what people are going to say and their posts start looking repetitive you look forward to hearing it. In fact, maybe you look forward to it because it starts to look the same. I'm just projecting here, I feel like I'm repetitive and hope others don't mind. But you are free to come repeat yourself here anytime Sunny.


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
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Zues, I think about you often, but don't come to the boards much. I appreciate that you asked about me. I'll post an update soon.



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OK, time for an update on Sunny.

Work is still good, I'm working a lot of hours and commuting more than I ever thought acceptable, and I like it. The work is interesting and challenging, the people are nice, I'm getting to know them more every day.

My kids are doing well, my S21 was home this week for spring break, it was great to see him. My D19 didn't come, she stayed to work. D14 is doing well, making good grades, playing basketball, has some nice friends. All I could want for them.

Mr. P and I are still friendly, parent together well. He's back with the duck and buying a house with her. I have heartburn with that, something I need to figure out. Back at BD I made the decision to stay kid-focused and worked hard at removing bitterness and anger. That served me well. And once again I'm in the position of choosing what kind of person I want to be. Do I continue to hold a hard line of not having anything to do with the duck, even though she's apparently going to be around for many years to come, or do I give in and accept? I can frame the first as holding to my principles or frame it as being bitter and difficult. I can frame the second as giving up or frame it as being forgiving. I haven't come to peace with it yet.

For those of you who have been following along a while, you know that BD and D were tied up with my faith home and that I tried to find a comfortable worship space for the past two years unsuccessfully. I'm happy to say that I've found a good church, one I initially resisted going to, and it's a happy comfortable place for me. It's good to have that aspect of my life integrated again.

Here's the part a few of you were really waiting for, lol. I've recently been out with a new guy, tomorrow will be our third date. He's attentive, calls me every day. Being with him is comfortable, he's easy to talk to, there's chemistry there, too. There are some obvious downsides, we live a little too far apart, our work schedules are not compatible. Still, I can see he's putting in the effort for me and I am for him. So I'm willing to see what happens.

And, finally, a Sunny update wouldn't be complete without a comment about MyNica. Yes, we broke up and that's still sticking. Yes, I have talked to him, even seen him a couple of times. But we are clear on where we are headed and where we aren't, and I'm finally moving on. I wouldn't be dating someone else if I didn't feel that way.

That's it for me. Have a glorious weekend everyone!



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Beautiful lovely Sunny.

Ducks quack, personally I would stay firm on keeping her in her own isolated duck pond. This duck isn't going to be a Swan any time soon.

Disappointed for you re your nica although someone different may help lift the blues.

It's going ok, smile that radiant smile of yours, it's a winner.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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My dear Lady V, thank you for stopping by. So far, I'm continuing to ignore the duck's presence, but voicing my displeasure if Mr. P brings it up. I don't want to accept her by accident, if I ever do, it's going to be a deliberate choice and I'm not there yet. So, status quo on that one.

Mr. P stepped up in the parenting department this week for D14, I give him credit for that. If he had done that while we were M, it would have been a very different relationship. But I am grateful for the help now, my new job wouldn't be possible without it.

My new guy MrCutie, is coming over to watch a movie tonight. He continues to be attentive, calls me every day, although I'm only seeing him once a week due to distance. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it means we are taking it slow, but I wonder how things are going to grow if I don't see him. For now, I'm happy and content to let things be as they are.

I'm off to a track meet to see one of my friends, her daughter pole vaults. :-) I hope everyone has a good weekend, and there are a few of you I'm especially missing today.



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Zues inspired me to post an update, although it's going to be much shorter due to posting from my phone.

My job has been especially challenging due to someone that's one level below me being out unexpectedly for a family emergency. I've had to learn the detailed daily part very quickly, if I don't get those things done the entire department shuts down. So I've come a long way in the last few weeks, and the knowledge of the detail makes my job make so much more sense. It's been good for me.

I took my D14 up to see the other two kiddos at college last weekend, we had such a good time together. I rented an entire house for the weekend so that there was room for all kiddos and friends, space to cook and eat meals and hang out together. I loved it.

MyCutie and I are coming up on the six week mark, a true milestone for me. Other than MyNica, my previous dating record was five weeks and that was just one guy. Most were significantly shorter. So I'm feeling good about this one. There are challenges. Distance. Schedules. The possibility of some social pressures due to background, ethnic, and cultural differences. But he's really putting in effort for me, and I'm very content with our relationship at the moment.

Mr P and the duck closed on their house today. He says they'll be moving at the end of the month. I asked him if I could come see it.

That's it for me, next week will be three years since BD. And life is so good.



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"And life is so good". Awesome!


Me: 46
W: 44
Married: 17
Together 21
D13; S10
BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you)
Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage
Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
JRuss #2738100 04/08/17 08:15 AM
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Originally Posted By: JRuss
"And life is so good". Awesome!


ThanksJRuss. And I mean it. Five years ago, if you had asked me about my life, I'd have said I led a charmed life because I had a happy, stable marriage, three great kids, a job I liked, we lived in a nice neighborhood, everyone was healhty, I had good friends. I realized how good my life was while I was still in the middle of it. And then the crap storm started and many of those things were no longer true. But here I am and through some miracle I can honestly say that I'm happy, I'm healthy, I have new friends, a new job, and great relationships with my three kids. I am in the beginning stage with a new guy, and life is full of possibility. That's the one message I'd love for newcomers to understand, that the storm is hard but it doesn't last forever. And you get to choose what kind of person you'll be when its over. OK, enough of my soapbox.....lol.

Today D14 left for a spring break trip with Mr. P and the duck and the duck's daughter. I hope she has a good time. MyCutie is coming over later and we're going to have dinner at a little place on the water. I'm really looking forward to it.

I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend!



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
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