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A Message from Michele
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Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: doodler] #2721710
12/19/16 06:45 AM
12/19/16 06:45 AM
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SunnyB Offline OP
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SunnyB  Offline OP
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Doodler, you should have come anyway. No one actually swam. There were a few of us who sat on the edge and dipped our toes in, though. smile



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2723533
12/31/16 08:44 AM
12/31/16 08:44 AM
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SunnyB Offline OP
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SunnyB  Offline OP
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Time for an end of the year update. MyNica and I are finally over. I say this with 100% conviction. The tipping point was a book my good friend JellyB recommended that just spelled it out in black and white for me. And I started thinking about my parents relationship and how it affected me and about my own marriage and what my children saw, what they learned about how a woman should be treated and what she should put up with. And then I looked at MyNica and realized this is not what I want for my daughters or his either. He treated me like a princess, that wasn't the issue, but it still wasn't the relationship I'd wish for my girls. And then that had to translate into, why am I choosing this for myself? It's been a long journey for me, I've learned a lot about myself, and I wouldn't trade in having met him for anything.

So I find myself here at the beginning of a new year with a new job and no relationship, exactly like last year. I remember feeling full of hope and possibility last year. This year I'm feeling considerably more jaded but I'm trying. I'm spending the evening with family in TX and it will be nice. They love me and I'm lucky to be with them tonight.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Year.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2723553
12/31/16 10:45 AM
12/31/16 10:45 AM
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JujuB Offline
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(((Sunny)))

Things that are right for us always seem to pop up when we are not looking. Like your new job! Maybe opportunities for a healthy relationship will come along now that you have closed the doors on a relationship that couldn't meet your needs.

Best of luck to you for the new year!


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: JujuB] #2723597
01/01/17 03:30 AM
01/01/17 03:30 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
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Vanilla Offline
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That seems like a good place to be Sunny.

Clean sheet for a new year.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: Vanilla] #2723630
01/01/17 10:51 AM
01/01/17 10:51 AM
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SunnyB Offline OP
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Thank you Juju and V. Intellectually I know it's true. In my heart, it's hard to accept that not only do I not have this man, I've basically been treading water for a year. But what are my choices here? I move forward.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2724417
01/06/17 09:48 PM
01/06/17 09:48 PM
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Zues126 Offline
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Happy Birthday Sunny! I hope your birthday wish comes true.


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: Zues126] #2724733
01/09/17 06:34 AM
01/09/17 06:34 AM
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SunnyB Offline OP
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Thank you Zues. I had a lovely weekend.

I continue to struggle without MyNica, but we haven't been in contact other than a brief text exchange on my birthday. It's not easy but it's right.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2725540
01/13/17 10:50 AM
01/13/17 10:50 AM
Joined: Jan 2017
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Courage Offline
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Admittedly, I haven't caught up 100% on your sitch but I would definitely say you are not "still treading water". Look at all you've learned! You have come so far and sound so grounded and strong!

I admire you.


Previously known as ss06
Kid: D9
M: 12 yrs together 18
D final: pending

"These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb."
- Najwa Zebian
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: Courage] #2725656
01/14/17 09:23 AM
01/14/17 09:23 AM
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SunnyB Offline OP
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Thank you SS. I'd like to think that time with MyNica wasn't wasted. I really did learn a lot about myself and what I want in a relationship. And honestly, I've opened my eyes to some things about myself in the past couple of weeks that wouldn't have happened had we still been together. I'm recognizing patterns in my relationships that I was just unaware of, discovering what that means and how to change the parts that I want to. I'm amazed that it's still such a process this far down the road.

In the meantime, I'm livIng my life, enjoying the challenge of my job, being a mom, hanging out with friends. I'm not ready to date again but I know that will come again. In the meantime, I'm addressing some things with my house and health that I need to.I might even be ready to find a new church home. It's all good. :-)



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Re: Sunny Days Ahead [Re: SunnyB] #2725761
01/15/17 10:08 AM
01/15/17 10:08 AM
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Sunny

Your time with Nica sounds like a wonderful experience. You experienced the giving and receiving of love, at a time in your life when you really needed that.

I am sad for you that logistics did not allow your experience to have more permanence. It is unfortunate when you can connect to someone emotionally, spiritually, and physically, but more practical and uncontrollable forces must play a role.

As we get older, we do get wiser. But I think what makes it harder is that we not only have to find someone whose soul we can connect with, but with whom's life we can fit into ours.

We are no longer starting fresh and anew with someone. We are bringing our all ready long established choices, and families, and careers, and life styles into the mix. And unfortunately they do not always blend well.

I am going through something similar, but I think I am more of the nica so I can kind of relate. The funny thing is, what makes me attractive to P. is the way I am because of my past experiences. However those past experiences do not allow for an easy or probably future relationship.

You are an amazing and beautiful woman and I am confident that every aspect of your life will fall into place.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
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