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A Message from Michele
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Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: job] #2722784
12/24/16 05:20 PM
12/24/16 05:20 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
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twinmom Offline
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twinmom  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
Merry Christmas! You are a beautiful person inside & out.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: twinmom] #2722807
12/25/16 05:12 AM
12/25/16 05:12 AM
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 724
I
Irish M Offline
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Irish M  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 724
Merry Christmat Sotto xoxo


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: Irish M] #2722894
12/26/16 06:24 AM
12/26/16 06:24 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,568
H
HaWho Offline
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HaWho  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,568
Sotto - just want to drop a line to say I am wishing you all the best in 2017.

Thank you again for all the support you've passed on to me throughout these years.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: HaWho] #2723716
01/02/17 10:00 AM
01/02/17 10:00 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Sotto Offline OP
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Sotto  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Happy New Year all! I hope 2017 sees us all moving positively forwards and making the best possible lives for ourselves and those around us...xx

It's been a busy week or so. Had a nice Xmas to New Year period. Saw friends Boxing Day, then went to the German market with some more friends another day. Visited with my stepson too - just a lunch, but we had a nice time. I see him now and I don't ask anything at all about his Dad. Is that a little weird? Maybe I should at least ask after him..

I was away for two nights over New Year at a Latin American dancing event, which was great. TBH, I was extending myself a little - going to a new event, with a girl I hardly know from dance class. And when it came to the day, I didn't want to go. But I made myself, and it was really good...and a few others from my dance class turned up too. Lovely. Did loads of dancing and improved my salsa skills - lots of fun, but exhausted today.

I'm a little fed up with NG at work. As you know, we text a little, and I find him a little reticent via text, and keener face to face. I initiate more than he does, and I think his reticence brings out the pursuer in me - arghh.. Anyway, he didn't respond to my latest text - it wasn't a question, but a response would have been courteous. And I realise if his details are on my phone, I feel tempted to text him, so I just deleted all his details to break the habit. I can get them again of course, but I think I need to go cold turkey for a bit. I guess if he wants to be in touch, he will - or he won't...

Any ways, a few more days off for me, and I'm going to potter around with a few DIY projects, plus some relaxing and recharging before working again on Friday.

Very best wishes to you all xxx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: Sotto] #2723721
01/02/17 12:06 PM
01/02/17 12:06 PM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,065
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Coly23 Offline
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Coly23  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,065
Happy New Year Sotto! Sounds like you had a great Christmas and New Year! I especially like the idea of the Latin Anerican dancing, great way to keep in shape!

NG sounds like my H. He is definitely better face to face than over text! Unfortunately I can't delete all his details because I know them off by heart!!

Also wanted to thank you for all your support over these difficult months.


Me - 47
H - 45
D-16
M - 6 years
Separated - May 16

Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: Coly23] #2723741
01/02/17 02:58 PM
01/02/17 02:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
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peacetoday Offline
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peacetoday  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
Happy New year

great that you are having fun and taking risks and dancing!

New R can be challenging to figure out-fun and difficult

Its probably better that they pursue, so good to delete , take a few steps back and see where it goes-


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: Sotto] #2723765
01/02/17 07:22 PM
01/02/17 07:22 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,022
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,022
Massachusetts
hi love. happy new year. thank you for all your support through this mess we find ourselves in. you are a beacon of hope and a power of example.

something jumped out at me: your NG ... sounds like my exbf ... here's a funny one: i got a txt the other day from one of his buddies asking if I'd heard from exbf. Apparently he's been awol for about 6 weeks with everyone, not just me. Made me feel better. I left exbf a vmail wishing him a happy new year. "no pressure to call back but would be nice to hear from you" crickets ... which was exactly what I expected. he will surface when he surfaces and in the meantime, I have debated whether or not to delete his information. so funny to read you're doing the same thing.

I have decided to just let it all go for now. He does so very much better in person and I have so very many other fish to fry right now, that his quirks are the least of my worries.

Your salsa dancing my dear has inspired me to try swing dancing. We'll see how it goes. Enjoy the remaining days off. I'm jealous as I have a brutal week ahead starting tomorrow. wish me luck toots !!!! love you xoxoxoxox made ya some black bean soup for new year's xoxoxoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16

One, Two, Three, Give it to God
Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: bttrfly] #2725007
01/10/17 11:38 AM
01/10/17 11:38 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline OP
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Sotto  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Thanks Coly, Peace and Bttrfly....so next instalment..

I got back to work to find a lovely Xmas card from NG left on my desk at a site where I hadn't been for a week or two, so that was nice.

Also, saw NG this week and he has been 'phoneless' since NYE. His sim just stopped functioning completely and work are arranging a replacement. I didn't tell him that I had texted him and he hadn't responded. But it does clarify that what I thought was a discourtesy was actually due to phone malfunction - doh! Just goes to show that we shouldn't layer assumptions onto an event and form incorrect conclusions...

Anyway - on other notes, I'm busy socially - quite a bit of dancing stuff lately and I join rock choir next week - woo hoo!! Went to a Ceilidh at the weekend, which was fun and I'm out to dinner with friends tonight - so gotta dash...xx

Take care lovely DBers. It is nice when life settles into a 'new norm' on the other side..


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: Sotto] #2725077
01/10/17 07:36 PM
01/10/17 07:36 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
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peacetoday Offline
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Posts: 3,925
Yes
sounds like a lot of fun
enjoy!

The other side is a pretty OK place


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Re: Sotto's tootling along [Re: peacetoday] #2726732
01/22/17 02:00 PM
01/22/17 02:00 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline OP
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Sotto  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Hi all, just a quick update from me. All is going well with me. I had a nice thing happen this weekend. I was out with a (divorced) friend who mentioned she is going to a family wedding in the Italian lakes - the wedding is just one day and she's going for a week - and she asked me if I fancied coming along for a little holiday - yes! I booked it today, and will be going in September. I haven't had a proper holiday since BD - so I figure it's time.

Life rumbles along and I feel at peace with things. I think of XH sometimes and I let him be with his life and his life choices. He isn't leading a life I would want to lead and I don't feel me and 'current him' are compatible. I can't really imagine being in a R with him and it feels easier just to close the door and move on. Equally I post this not seeing him wanting a possible reconciliation. If he did, how would I feel? I don't know. But certainly I feel fine to move on alone.

As I posted on Bttryfly's post, dating doesn't appeal to me just now and that's a good thing as I haven't yet been D'd a year. I still like NG at work and I had (have) hopes that this friendship may develop - but it hasn't as yet and it may never do. I'm glad I dropped his details from my phone because it makes 'dropping him a little message' harder and so I haven't done it.

I started Rock choir - lots of fun, and been busy socially and at work. I find I could be out almost every night if I chose - but I find every other night or so seems to work for me and that's fine - otherwise I start to feel on a treadmill - work - out - work - out - etc...

I'm reading an interesting spiritual book at the moment - the last chapter was all about opening and closing energy centres (or chakras). When we feel a a state of flow and harmony our centres are open - and when we feel out of sorts, awkward, I'll at ease, they close. The book recommends noticing the closure and consciously opening again - ie: transcending the urge to close and living open heartedly.

My yoga teacher also talked about the eight limbs of yoga Last week, which was interesting. These include how we look after ourselves (eating well, spiritual wellness) how we conduct ourselves with others (integrity, honesty), yoga postures, breathing - and then the later ones are more meditative. It struck me that in DBing, we are really focusing on the first two - loving ourselves and becoming our best selves.

Anyway - that's it from me for now and thanks for reading xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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