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Mia2003 #2720398 12/11/16 06:13 AM
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Mia,

I'm glad you returned and posted an update. I'm also glad that you've set up a separate email address which you and your h can utilize when communicating about the children.

I'm sure the kids will enjoy spending Christmas Day with you. I do hope that your h will do something special for them on the day he has them.

As for the bizarre wording that he writes, it could all be part of his past w/his parents. The holidays do bring out some rather odd behavior for some and some of them do experience their own "Christmas Carol" story of the past and the present. So, I would just let him talk about things and if they sound off, just let them go. The ghost of Christmas Past sounds like he came just a wee bit early for him.

Keep the focus on you and your children. I'm sure you and the kids have been decorating and have fun doing so.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2720408 12/11/16 07:24 AM
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Thanks job, have just been out with my youngest to buy xmas candles.

Another bizarre thing is my son got a notification on his phone from amazon. He asked me had I been buying stuff , I had a look and it was his dads account notifying my h that the presents he'd Bought for the kids had been delivered. Bizarre that it came up on my sons phone?!

With regards to his comments about father xmas I didn't respond just thought it was weird. All this is all weird lol.
I ummed and ahhhd about whether to invite him xmas morning again but ultimately for my own sanity it was a no....he made his bed and the consequence is this. Silly man

Mia2003 #2720409 12/11/16 07:29 AM
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I would venture to say that your h provided Amazon w/your son's phone info. Amazon can make mistakes, but I don't think they did this one. Your h may have wanted your son to get the message from Amazon and show it to you, and in turn, you would contact him about the message. Don't contact him. It's a passive aggressive move on his part.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2720413 12/11/16 07:52 AM
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Interesting ...it's just weird as it listed the kids xmas presents that he had bought them. Why on earth would he want to spoil the the surprise. Luckily my son did show me and once I'd looked it disappeared so son will still be pleasantly surprised.

Job in your experience why would he want me to respond? As it is there is no way amazon would have my youngest mobile number ..he is 9 for goodness sake.

Mia2003 #2720416 12/11/16 08:31 AM
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Mia,

They do stupid stuff and one of the things is to get you roped back into their rodeo. They are miserable human beings and they do not like it when we move on and also having fun, living our lives, etc. They want to remind us that they are still out there.

He wasn't thinking about whether your child would actually see what he had ordered, but he wanted you to see what he ordered as well as post to him that they were shipped. It's called passive aggressive behavior. Again, he's pulling the rope hoping you'll take the bait and contact him.

When you have a chance, read up on passive aggressive behavior.

It's all part the ride on the rollercoaster.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2720449 12/11/16 12:38 PM
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Mia, if your son has the amazon app on his phone it could be tied to his dad's account. I have the amazon app and so does my 15yr old. Both of us use the same amazon account & we both get the same notifications when buying/making changes to the account.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



twinmom #2720454 12/11/16 01:12 PM
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My son has not the amazon app on his phone , he is 9.

Thanks job, h is definitely a pill know , and yes again he is 5rying to manipulate me. I'm done. What an idiot.

Mia2003 #2720465 12/11/16 02:03 PM
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Good to hear from you Mia as I was wondering how you were getting on. I had more or less the same experience with H telling that he couldn't then could find the kids presents. I think they are in their own world. I have ignored the last few messages from H regarding pressies. I only replied to one when he knows far too well that I'll be dead against it. I just thanked him to check with me and added that as it was his own presents I felt it was none of my business.

It is hard for us as it's Christmas but I feel we have done the hardest. Keep up the good work Mia. There will be a reward one day.

Rouky #2720512 12/12/16 12:51 AM
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Thanks all for our support.
Well xmas presents for the kids are done phew...my bottom oven blew so need o buy another after xmas ...typical...luckily still have the small one to cook xmas dinner on but another expenditure after xmas.

I am guessing a divorce will be on the card xmas 2017 because TBH the man I'm married to has gone. His behaviour the last 18 months or so has been bizarre to say the least....so inconsiderate and selfish towards me and the kids. I don't know what is wrong with him.....but I can not imagine his choices will make him happy in the long run. How can it he's done the most inexplicable thing to his family and he still can not admit it..he has been a complete idiot. He had the Gaul to say to me ' I didn't leave you for xxxxx' .... the fact that he still says that demonstrates to me what a cowardly pillock he has become. I shouted at him is still his reasoning....silly man.

Well am doing the traumatic task of getting kids ready for school...particularly hard getting my oldest out of bed

Mia2003 #2720553 12/12/16 06:44 AM
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Hi Mia ... I'm sorry about your oven. Glad you still have one working tho ... my boy was quite a crank this morning. Monday mornings are so icky, aren't they? We had snow on the ground and rain pouring down for our commute this morning. At least our pup, an English Springer whose dad came from Yorkshire, had a great morning. Imagine a silly dog cavorting around making snow angels and you'll get the picture.

I wish you peace my dear, in the midst of it all ... I know the pain of wondering where the man you married has gone. It's heartbreaking. Widows get funerals and the knowledge that their spouse didn't voluntarily leave. We LBS are in another situation entirely. It's awful. I actually held a memorial service for the man I married. Sounds goofy, right? In truth, it gave me so much peace to do so. Looking back over the past 20 months since BD, there are a few "aha" moments which stand out as turning points. That day was a big one for me. I share it in case it helps you.

God bless and many {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}} xoxoxoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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