We now have a thread started for Jack's words of wisdom. Truegritter created a thread entitled "Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom". I have copied and pasted responses from sgctxok and Bee29 to that thread this morning. This new thread is at the top of this Forum and it will remain a sticky. Please post Jack's pearls of wisdom there.
I have moved words of wisdom quotes from sgctxok and Bee29 to the new thread.
I suspect that Jeff/Jack may well have hated this suggestion but does anyone know if there is perhaps a special charity that was meaningful to him? I'd like to make a donation in his honour.
He can't tell me "Pick your own d@mned charity and give to something YOU believe in" after all.
LOL, he would have, too!
Originally Posted By: Drew
Coast Guard Foundation
This is an awesome idea. Jeff was so friggin proud of his service in the Coast Guard. I think this would mean a lot to him, and am actually sure that he knows about it cause I am sure he is in heaven. I'm going to donate in his name and honor too Andrew. Thanks.
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
I've taken some time to think about Jeff's "Board" life over the last decade. Jeff came here searching for answers to questions just as we all did. He grew by leaps and bounds, fell down a time or two, but was more than determined to get back up and continue moving forward. He wasn't perfect and he made mistakes just as we all did. What he learned from those mistakes, he was more than happy to share the knowledge with those he posted to. For some, he shared his knowledge and sage advice off the Board and IRL. Jeff was a diamond in the rough back in 2006, but he soon grew into a brilliant diamond who continued to offer sage advice along the way even after his health crisis. Not once did he come here and whine about his illness. It took courage and determination for him to greet each day, but he did it. Jeff truly was a treasure and a man who will not be forgotten. He lived his life to the fullest. He would not want us to mourn him, but rather...celebrate his life.
I'd like to share a poem with you that is entitled "A Death Has Occurred" by Paul Irion.
A Death Has Occurred
A death has occurred and everything is changed. We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again, That yesterday is over, That relationships once rich have ended.
But there is another way to look upon this truth. If life now went on the same, Without the presence of the one who had died, we could only conclude that the life we remember made no contribution, filled no space, meant nothing.
The fact that this person left behind a place that cannot be filled is a high tribute to this individual.
Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost, but never after the loss of a treasure.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It's been forever since I've been here and posted. I found out that Jack/Jeff had passed away several days ago and that this thread would be started on the boards. I've waited to post because I didn't know what to say.
Everyone who has already posted has said so many of the things that I also think about him.
I was lucky that I got to know him a bit off of the boards. I can't say that I was a good friend, but we did become friends. In recent years, he and I argued about politics among other things. Friendly banter though. His thoughts on politics were just as intelligent an thought out as they were here about marriages torn apart.
Of course, as everyone has said, he was tremendously helpful to me when I was going through my 'situation'. I was sad and distraught... Just like we all are when we come here.
Jack/Jeff had a way of being tough, but also understanding of the pain that we were going through. He had been through it himself of course.
I read through his old posts from when he was going through his sh!t. One reason that I connected with him as much as anyone here, was because what he went through was very, VERY, similar to what I was going through at the time. Funny enough, my situation ended up very similar to his too.
At one point, he and I started emailing off of the boards. It meant SO much to me that here was someone who didn't know me at all. Lived hundreds of miles away from me. Yet, took his time to read my thoughts, basically my personal journal, and tell me things that helped guide me.
He didn't tell me what I needed to do. He didn't say 'you're wrong' or 'you're right'. He had a way of saying things that caused me to think for myself. To figure out my path.
He also offered to speak with me on the phone. While I didn't want to take advantage of this too much, I did take him up on it. He was the same. He listened. He offered words. He shared his experiences. He talked about his new life. He made me feel better.
I did not get to meet him. We talked about having a beer when he was back in Colorado one day. Unfortunately for me, he never did make it back.
For everything that he did here, and that was A LOT, what I will remember is that he was genuinely a good guy. More of us could stand to live our lives caring about others the way that Jack3beans... Jeff... did.
I'm forever grateful. In this life and beyond.
Thank you man...
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I have been away from the boards for a few weeks, some GAL reasons among others, but can't believe logging on today I'm finding out about Jack_Three_Beans' passing. In my short time interacting on the DB boards J3B had started to post some blunt but much needed comments & insight to my thread; wish I'd had the chance to get to know him better.
My condolences, thoughts & prayers go out to his family & friends.
Thank you Jeff for taking the time to offer me your guidance; may you be much rewarded on your onward journey.
Let me tip my hat to you sir by doing what you suggested on my thread a while ago and change my DB moniker to something more positive HalfTheMan -> HeroToMany.
Me 50, ExW 49 T21, M13+ S15, S13 BD #1: 25-Jan-2016 (EA confirmed & ILYBINILWY) Sept-2016 Mediated Sep. starts Oct-2016 W petitions for D Jan-2017 R w OM admitted/confirmed Jun-2018 D'd