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A Message from Michele
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Jack 3 Beans #2712601
10/27/16 05:49 AM
10/27/16 05:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,008
NY
Cadet Offline OP

Member
Cadet  Offline OP

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,008
NY
It is with a heavy heart that I pass along this information.
This morning at around 3am. Our friend Jack 3 Beans (for those of you who did not know him well) passed away.
This world....will never be the same again. The world has really lost one of the good guys.

I am using the words above of EricmSant as I am really at a loss of what to say.

RIP dear friend the DB world will mourn your loss.
It was a pleasure meeting you and an honor to call you my friend.


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: Cadet] #2712602
10/27/16 05:52 AM
10/27/16 05:52 AM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,303
D
Drew Offline
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Drew  Offline
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D
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,303
Strength and honor, my brother.

We're still gonna have that Alaskan Amber together, just not where we thought.

Rest in peace my friend.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: Cadet] #2712603
10/27/16 05:53 AM
10/27/16 05:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 3,996
G
Ginger1 Online
Member
Ginger1  Online
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 3,996
This community and the world has lost quite a man.

I never got to meet him but I truly hoped to one day.

Prayers to all of his family and friends, DB and personal:(

Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: Drew] #2712604
10/27/16 05:54 AM
10/27/16 05:54 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
CT/USA
E
ericmsant2 Offline
Member
ericmsant2  Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
CT/USA
To the Divorce Busting Community

Today is a sad day for the boards. This morning I received a call from Jack 3 Beans mother informing me that he had passed away at 3am today. This world lost, imo a light. It is a little darker today.

I have several requests to …..all poster…both newbies, vets, and former posters.

I have started this thread in order to print a copy of it and give it to J3B mother and father. They knew how much the boards meant to J3B – I would like to show them how much he meant to us.

I would ask that the moderators allow this thread to exceed the 10 page limit if need be.

I would ask that the vets reach out to former poster as best that they can and ask that they post what/how J3B impacted their lives.

I’ll start

J3B was more than a “vet” he was my friend. A very dear friend. I go as far as to say…that him and few other posters are like my brothers and sisters. Jack was the big brother.

He gave so much. My last memory of Jack was out trip down to the Outterbanks a few weeks ago. We had a blast. Mach arranged for a surprise birthday party – his mom and dad showed up an surprised him. Jack lived in Alaska for those who did not know. So seeing his parents was a really excellent surprise. I had picked up a birthday card for Jack and wrote from my heart. I will paraphrase …..

Jack – Love you man. I wanted to thank you for being the type of friend that you are and for being there for me when no one else really was. I also want to say F you. Why? Cause I know you hate praise, thanks and this is gonna be a mushy card. So F you 

Jack you are amazing dude and I wish more people knew you. You give so much of yourself yet you ask for nothing in return. I know you hate thanks…and all the mushy chit but here goes anyway…..

Thank you – when I did not believe in myself – YOU DID.

When I wanted to put a bullet in my head – YOUR response kept me going.

When I wanted to quit…on me, on my family, on my kids. I did…but you didn’t. When I struggled with my son who had been alienated against me….I wanted to quit – you didn’t let me. When the world felt against me….you posted to me. When my W at the time would do [censored] that made me want to quit on myself…you helped pick me up. And you did it over and over and over again. Remember when I almost destroyed my office at work after reading one of your post? LOL. You knew I needed it and you were right. I am a better man, better father, better partner and overall better human being because of you. Yeah…yeah…don’t give me the “I hate praise speech”…. Thank you Jack. I love you man.

I wrote a little bit more but that up there ^^^ was the jist of it. As tough as Jack was....the card made him teary eye - same for me.

Jack was a h@ll of guy. He was my true friend. I mean it when I say….that I am the dad that I am today…in part because of Jack.

His real name…… was Jeff. He was about 6’2…maybe about 205 lbs. Brown hair. He was a former Coast Guard. He is survived by his Wife, 2 boys and his mother and father. He was sarcastic. He had a dry sense of humor. He loved laguvalin scotch. He loved video games. A few years ago, he was diagnosed with a rare disease that impacted his ability to walk. If you knew Jeff….the wheel chair did not stop him. He loved his kids more than life itself. He loved his family. He loved his friends.

RIP Jack 3 Beans

The boards will never be the same.

For those of you who would like additional info…you know how to reach me as does Cadet.

Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: ericmsant2] #2712607
10/27/16 06:26 AM
10/27/16 06:26 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,900
Piney Land
R
Rick1963 Offline
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Rick1963  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,900
Piney Land
I just can't believe it. We had just spent a whole week together. What a great time. And today I wake up to hear this very sad news. Eric is right he loved video games. I had convinced him to get the Division so we could play and have fun. We never got to do it. He was a smart and lovinG person that I will miss. Will miss his sarcastic post on FB
RIP my friend. We have lost a great friend


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: Rick1963] #2712609
10/27/16 06:53 AM
10/27/16 06:53 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,491
Southern Maryland
job Offline

Member
job  Offline

Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,491
Southern Maryland
My thoughts and prayers are with his family, friends and co-workers at this time. Words cannot express my very deep sorrow for this man.

I didn't know Jeff personally, but I got to know him many years ago when we were allowed to post our email addresses here. Jeff, like all of us, wasn't perfect and he accepted that he had made some mistakes along the way, but he learned from them and came here to share his experiences and what he had learned. We didn't always agree on things, but we learned to "agree to disagree" many times over.

I think the trip back to the East Coast was a great trip for not only him, but for his friends and parents, as well. The time you spent with Jeff and the memories that were made from this trip will comfort each and every person that was there. The trip from Alaska and back were not easy for him to make, but he was determined to come and enjoy himself with his friends. You made his trip a memorable one for him and his parents and don't ever forget that. You gave him many happy memories that I am sure he cherished right up until he passed away this morning. Take comfort in knowing this.

Jeff, may you rest in peace. You lived your life to the fullest and fought right up to the end. God called you home far too early, but he needed you to help others from afar. You may be gone, but you will not be forgotten.

Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: job] #2712616
10/27/16 07:06 AM
10/27/16 07:06 AM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,970
NY
R
RosaLinda Offline
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RosaLinda  Offline
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,970
NY
J3B infuriated me at times. When someone like him or Mach posts to you, you don't get sweet words or platitudes, but you do get the truth, and you do come out the other side of the bomb stronger, with a deeper self knowledge, and on the road back to healing.

The thought of meeting him this summer scared the crap out of me, but in reality he was one of the funniest, snarkiest, deepest, kindest and most sincere men I've ever had the pleasure to have met.

He spoke of his parents and kids with true love. Despite his disability, he experienced true joy from living, especially in living in Alaska. He was proud of his years of service in the Coast Guard. He loved to cook, he loved to eat, he loved to drink, he loved to laugh, he just loved life.

His words and advice and spirit will live on and help countless others on this forum. I lift an old fashioned in your honor and memory, sweet friend.


Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
M 38 y
2 adult S, 4 G-Kids
MLC 11/07
BD 12/09
D 3/14
Dating nice guy 7/14
Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: RosaLinda] #2712618
10/27/16 07:15 AM
10/27/16 07:15 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
CT/USA
E
ericmsant2 Offline
Member
ericmsant2  Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
CT/USA
From a former posters named.... WCW - Jack didn't comment much on my situation but I always appreciated the matter of fact opinions Jack gave to so many people. Jack kept it real instead of full of fluff, and by reading his advice to others it helped me. And, happy to say, my marriage survived and we just passed the 23 year mark. Thank you Jack, my thoughts are with your family.


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: RosaLinda] #2712621
10/27/16 07:17 AM
10/27/16 07:17 AM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,303
D
Drew Offline
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Drew  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,303
Originally Posted By: RosaLinda
I lift an old fashioned in your honor and memory, sweet friend.

With Luxardo cherries I hope!!!

smile

And although it's not quite my favorite, I myself will likely lift a glass of Lagavulin in his honor tonight also.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Re: Jack 3 Beans [Re: job] #2712622
10/27/16 07:19 AM
10/27/16 07:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,713
Canada
A
AndrewP Online
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AndrewP  Online
Member
A
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,713
Canada
Oh dear. My world is a darker place now that the light that was Jeff is no longer burning. A favourite author of mine once wrote that "A man's not dead while his name's still spoken." Jeff's words, his good humour and his kindness will live on and continue to provide inspiration and support for countless people.

I only encountered him online and not in real life. It was at a time when I was confused, scared and lost. Jeff's patience, good humour and Chicken Marsala recipe got me though some very dark times. He was a light that shone in that darkness that I thrived under and became stronger.

My thoughts and prayers go out not only to his real-life family who I am sure are struggling with the loss of him but also to the countless people both who knew Jeff through his kindness and the people beyond that whose lives were made richer, better and brighter because of his influence.

In one of his last posts to me he said that he was giving back to a community that had helped him and charged me also take up the challenge and give back which I have been doing. I charge all of those around to pick up a portion of the torch that Jeff was holding high and to light our own flames against the darkness. None of us can replace Jeff but we can spread his message of love, strength and kindness.

God bless Jack. Rest in peace.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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