I haven't been here in a long time. I'm very busy and have received a lot of positive press (front page of the paper again!!!!!!). I'm now involved in the startup, a real estate project, a community project, multiple social movements and a job. To say I've been busy is an understatement.
I have continued to harbor an inclusive relationship with my kids and have focused on being me, being busy and living a life I can be proud of.
As for X. Not my circus not my monkeys. I have removed myself as much as I possibly can. I don't respond to anything without thinking first. I am working with her as needed but not extra on getting the kids into schools. Greetings and salutations just returned into email and text correspondence. I guess thats a win. The kids are still saying things about us as a family, which I find odd at this stage (its been a long time), however, I only reinforce that it is okay to feel however they feel (I want to encourage them to talk about their feelings and I try to support that) and then slide out of the conversation or change conversations. I'm trying to practice non-violent communication but it is difficult for me as being the LBS. I'm thinking about her less, my life and kids more often. But I'm still not out of the dark yet.
As for other women. There are interests and some more interested in me then the other way around.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
My current life is stressful and I'm spread very thin trying to make the entrepreneurial jump and cultivate a new future for a depressed area. It is difficult, but thrilling. Challenging, but rewarding. I am passionate about it, and it is no longer about any amount of money but about awakening and living a life without compromising.
I had seen a woman walking around town on a couple different occasions. She was working with a state senator and they came to my shop for a meeting. Then she walked in. I talked with the senator but was searching for a way to look at this woman. I then found her through social media and proceeded to promptly ask her out. We have been out on a lot of dates now. Date 2 was a walk in the woods followed by dinner (it was 12 hours long). Date 3 was 30 plus hours long. This woman is smart, gorgeous, has a Ph D, older than me by 2 years, thoughtful, kind, supportive, nonjudgmental and I could go own.
I understand it is new. But I think this could be something. I was the conservative LBS, who focused overly on the relationship with the kids. So some of my beliefs are shaken and I'm now thinking I want to see her more and more.
So I'm looking for thoughts, I already have my own but... How should I stay grounded? What should I be concerned about in regards to the kids?
Please keep in mind there isn't any real co-parenting going on for me.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Gmum - I still have trouble communicating and coparenting with X. I have tried multiple avenues attempts to close the gap between us and reduce confrontation, but it doesn't seem to work. So we aren't communicating in anyway that is valuable or supportive for the kids. And here I am thinking about the best ways to introduce someone to them.
PS G - where is the update on you? I can't find any recent posts except the ones on my thread????
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Mahhty - so glad you've met someone who excites you. She sounds awesome.
In regards to the kids.....don't introduce her. Not for at least six months.
I know that sounds like a ridiculously long time, and I know it's important to get a sense of how she is with kids. But let's face it: statistically, the odds of any new relationship fizzling out in the first six months is rather high. And your kids DONT need to grow attached to, and then lose, a succession of girlfriends. Breakups hurt kids. So take it slow and don't introduce the kids until you are pretty sure she's a keeper.
