A very inspiring post Jack_Three_Beans, and one I believe I'll be coming back to again & again.
All of the things you mention I have wrestled with over the last 7-8mnths and I'm sure I'll continue to do so for some time.
The point you make about how this may affect my children's future relationships & breaking a cycle, also weigh on me. I believe my W is following a path laid down by her father who had at least two As while she still lived at home as a young teen. There is the leading by example too, showing my two Ss how to deal with life's more difficult times; hope I'm up to the task.
I struggle with comparing myself to OM a lot, though I am working to break this unhealthy thinking. Although I don't know this person, I take some solace in that he chose to involve himself with a married woman, taking advantage of my W at a vulnerable time, which IMO exhibits a lack of integrity and true regard for others. Even my IC has pointed out that the OP is not better just different, that's all.
I know I have a lot more work to do on me but posts such as this give me strength, and true hope rather than any offered by my W at present.
Me 50, ExW 49 T21, M13+ S15, S13 BD #1: 25-Jan-2016 (EA confirmed & ILYBINILWY) Sept-2016 Mediated Sep. starts Oct-2016 W petitions for D Jan-2017 R w OM admitted/confirmed Jun-2018 D'd
Welcome to the land of MLC! I see you are a newbie and are posting over on Newcomers. Why not start a thread here in MLC? That way people will begin posting to you and then you'll have a thread to refer back to as you travel your Life's path?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.