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Mia2003 #2669774 04/18/16 09:55 AM
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Originally Posted By: Mia2003
Don't really want mess tbh. When this first started I was on antidepressants and it really affected my eating and weight.im back up to a stable weight now and just want to allow nature take its course.


I think thinking of fun things at mo is hard. Give me time.


It is hard to think of fun things but if you're going to come through this stronger you need to take care of yourself. Take some of the suggestions from friends here. Unfortunately everyone here has felt intense pain and sadness. We understand, but at the same time we know just allowing time to pass won't make the pain go away. Feel your pain & then push forward!


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



twinmom #2669916 04/19/16 12:18 AM
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Mia, we are here...
several months after bomb dropped, h would not leave the job nor end the relationship with OW, I realized the situation is not as simple as I imaged. I could not eat nor sleep... soon I lose weight and my hair turned into grey color, I looked awful. 12 months past, h is still in crisis, but my day/life must go on. I pray for him for myself, ask help from God all the time. Mia, the feeling you're having is normal at this moment. But please do take care of yourself !

Babe #2669935 04/19/16 04:36 AM
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The worst thing is I fell apart on the kids yesterday. Haven't done that since Christmas. It was when my eldest said sometimes he had more fun at dad's. Hurt so much. I know that obviously h 'does' things constantly to be Disney day where as I am just everyday.

Both kids hugged me and I felt so bad for them. I think it's the hurt the kids are facing is what is compounding this. How can this idiot do that. What parent thinks there on selfish sexual gratification is more important than their kids and their partner who knows them more than anything.

Mia2003 #2669962 04/19/16 06:36 AM
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Hi Mia
Trust me Disney Day will fade. Your kids will see you are their parent. They dont need a friend they need a loving , stable, secure parent . That is you :-)

Your husband is selfish now and it's all about his entitlement and needs. He is in a crisis. Try not to watch it, nothing good will come out of it and it will only bring you down. You can do this.

Hugs Mia , you are not alone.

Irish


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Irish M #2670022 04/19/16 10:29 AM
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I agree w/Irish...Disney Day at Disney Dad's will soon fade away into the sunset. He'll get tired of putting on the happy front and paying for things for the kids. Give it time...you'll see that we are right.

Please take care of yourself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2670030 04/19/16 10:48 AM
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What do you mean? He'll stop seeing the kids?

He's such a twat...again telling me tonight that the weekend he has them is a bank holiday weekend so he'll have them until Monday. Aargh so angry with him.

And now I will breathe smile

Mia2003 #2670081 04/19/16 01:04 PM
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I didn't say that he'll stop seeing the kids, but he'll stop doing a lot of those fun things that he may be doing w/them right now. He may have the kids over and he could very well sit and watch TV and leave the kids to figure things out in the way of entertaining themselves or he'll plop them down in the front of the TV and do something else while they sit there watching TV.

You need to put a proper visitation schedule in place or this type of jerking your around will continue.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2670127 04/19/16 06:31 PM
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Am trying. Mediation lies in his court now. Yesterday he said there was a problem joining his with mine.

Mia2003 #2670314 04/20/16 11:04 AM
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Hi Mia, I have tried to lead on those areas where I want to resolve things - eg: finances.

Anything else - house sale, divorce - are things he wants and he can lead on. I cooperate and no more.

Hope you're having a better day today smile


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2671051 04/23/16 01:26 AM
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Haven't posted for a couple of days. My week has been ok. Had one or two meltdowns.

H phone number continues to be blocked and that makes me feel better.

A couple of times he has rung to speak to kids and he hasn't gotten hold of them. I haven't done anything btw, just my son has missed his call on his mobile then h has rung landline and left message and no one has noticed. In some ways this makes me feel comforted as then maybe h can feel the reality of what he has done. That our kids are not waiting for his every phone call and no he doesn't get to,speak to them whenever because he decided to walk away.

Next weekend when he ha skids I have arranged to go out with some friends for my birthday. Was dreading being on my own all bank holiday.

Do I still think of h , of course, am I still in disbelief of what he has done absolutely. Never thought he could hurt me and continue as much as he has.

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