If I know W I know she's right back in the messy disaster she has created. It occurs to me that maybe I'm the only one not playing anyone here. W was courting me last week, ow was probably giving her some sort of ultimatum, and I'm just trying to be the person she'd be a fool to leave. But I'm the only one sleeping alone. Ironic, isn't it?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
A large percentage of the world population sleeps alone. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. The pain is grief over having lost your W, which is going to come and go in waves for a while.
What I wish for you, is the strength to step away from W, not allow her to play with you, and not get pulled back into her chaos every time she beckons.
You being so available is giving her the opportunity to drag this out and indulge in more self-obsessed drama. That's why she pulls away again - you fed the beast, she's content for a while and doesn't care about anyone than herself right now. Truly, truly egotistical. I hope this makes you a little angry soon, just enough to carry you through the next few weeks.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I'm trying to stay as detached as I can and wait for this A to implode. W wants whatever she can't have. She won't be happy until she's out of this mess. The next few days will be very revealing. I'm trying not to be scared. Last week she was reeling me back in. If ow is back, W's mess just got bigger. Trying to detach, trying, trying... Oh so trying!!!!!!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Which is why you HAVE to detach, move on, and GAL. If you're a clingy guarantee, she won't want you. All human beings want things we can't have. The more we can't have it, the more we want it. The more you detach, move on, and GAL you may flip this script and she'll be the one trying to woo you back. Don't make it too easy. Don't sit around the house feeling sorry for yourself though. Nobody would want that back. Keep doing the fun activities with cute friends. Go have a great life. People want to be around people who are having a great life. That will make you very desirable to your W. No moping. No overthinking.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Hope you didn't send the guilt-inducing text, NYGal. I can tell you from experience that they don't work. I promise. I have countless long emails and texts that are very logical and on point that only make my H more mad and distant.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
That wall pops up from time to time - it's nice and easy to put your weight on it. It feels good, no?
Find another wall. Everyone needs a wall to lean on. I'm not insinuating that you find another mate, but use your support network, have some fun, re-link with old friends.
I hear hope and some desperation in your posts. Your wayward isn't going to show up out of the fog for a while. Showing her you've moved on a bit, without true intention, sets you up for a cycle of temp. checking. Really tell her you're happy to move on, and do that.
It does take time. I'm on month 4. It's gotten easier.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
