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Joined: Nov 2015
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AU Bob Offline OP
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Posts: 210
Hi Zeus
Yes I did wonder how to say it, I was put on the spot a bit, she just turned up unanounced. I think your suggestion has merit, this is one of the problems I have have, I am an intelligent person but for some reason with her I seem to have brain fade sometimes. I will think over what you have suggested and see if I can get it right if it is brought up again.
I think the problem I have is in what context the friendship is intended, what dose she want out of it, if I knew the answer I could make a judgement on witch way to go, is it cake eating or is it genuine. The sitch with OM also come into it, should I entertain it while she is still involved with him?
These are the things I struggle with? It's quite a lot to understand.


H 50
W 46
T 31
M 24
EA 11.11.15
PA not sure.
Dx3
Separated 5.12.15 (not legally)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 586
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Honestly AUBob, I don't know why you even bother to talk with your W beyond what is absolutely necessary about your D's or something that you can't ignore. Just stop answering her calls and texts. Let them go to voicemail and delete. The only thing she is to you at the moment is someone who takes your D out once in awhile. Do you have these conversations with your D's other friends? Stop contacting her or answering her and focus on you and your future. It seems you are letting her walk all over you intruding into your new life.


Me:49 W:45
M:19 T:22
EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
S:19,17 D:9,5
Joined: Nov 2015
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AU Bob Offline OP
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I think there may be some wires crossed here. I have only contacted her once in three months. That was to do with an issue with my grand daughter.
She attended christmas at D's house with the rest of the family i just said hello as i walked past her. I kept away from her for the rest of the gathering.
I dont contact her unless I absolutely have to.
She has been the one contacting me. I did not ask her to come into my house she asked my daughter, i stayed jn my room reading when she came inside, she came into my room and asked me to come out into the kitchen and have a coffee. If i said no would that have been the right thing to do?
I have removed myself from her life as much as I can, but when you have children it's just not that easy.
I'm moving on with my life and im at peace knowing she is not in it, and as such can not hurt me anymore!


H 50
W 46
T 31
M 24
EA 11.11.15
PA not sure.
Dx3
Separated 5.12.15 (not legally)
Joined: Jan 2000
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job Offline
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Last edited by Cadet; 01/12/16 05:09 PM. Reason: Link

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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