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You are not obligated to buy your wife (separated or not) a car OR pay on penny of the repairs. Perhaps she can get the OM to do that for her, or maybe her dad. The only concern would be if she's driving your child around in that car. Still, you're not obligated at all.


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M:11
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12 '15 2 wk R
Just kidding, H wants NC
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4 '15 R &still working on it
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Assuming its called fight song or maybe fight along?


M30 - W29 - S1.5
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Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015
W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015
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Originally Posted By: - MB -
You are not obligated to buy your wife (separated or not) a car OR pay on penny of the repairs. Perhaps she can get the OM to do that for her, or maybe her dad. The only concern would be if she's driving your child around in that car. Still, you're not obligated at all.


She has stopped driving the car as far as o know. Her dad is overly cautous when it comes to lots stuff so im pretty sure he probably told her not to drive it anymore she was driving his car yeaterday.


M30 - W29 - S1.5
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W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015
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You should care as much about her car and anything else in her life as you would care about any random babysitter that takes care of your S1. Because at the moment that is about all she is to you. That kind of puts it into perspective.


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Originally Posted By: Cadet
bump

Thanks for the bump whats thats for?


M30 - W29 - S1.5
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So i got into it with my wife a tiny bit over text message because i asked what time she thought i should pick S1 up tomorow. I told her i made spreadsheet with a schedule for every other week that i should was a fair 50/50 split of s1 time. She started going off about how she thought it was overkill. I told her i wanted yo have even awake hours with him even meal times even bed times etc she stared saying its not fair she get screwed out of time with him cause i work more hours im think well if thats the case its not fair i get screwed and have to pay a larger portion of his bills because i work more hours STFU though. When we decided what time id pick him up she complained about only getting to put him to bed 3 time this week. I was like yah so next week youll get to do it 4 times. If you look at it in 2 week periods thats fair. She also went on to say well if thats the way were gona so it then i should get some extra time because of all the time you spent with him over the holiday and im thinking half the time it was her dumping him off on me so she could go out do her own thing i was glad to take him but again stfu. I just told her i thought it was something we should talk about in person and that im trying to be nice about it and my end goal is 50/50 split or as close to as possible. I also said she doesnt have to look at my spread sheet but i told her it will be what i use to concider how fair the schedule we develop is. Anyone have any advice as to how to determin what is or is not fair? My w seems to have a messed up way of thinking about fairness. She thinks im trying to screw her all the time. That is definitly not what im out to do my goal is whats fair but i suppose what is fair depends on your prespective.


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Maybe try to build the schedule together so she feels like part of the process rather than feeling like you're dictating to her. I realize you were only offering something to start the conversation which seems reasonable but from her reaction that wasn't the way she viewed it. So throw it away and and ask to meet with her to work it out.

Hopefully, someone else that had a similar situation can add on.


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Strngr - I have a feeling that unless she's dictating when you get to see your child, it's going to be "unfair" - you said before she has a bit of a princess complex, right?

You could invite her to help come up with a schedule. Send her what you have and ask for input. I wouldn't expect anything rational, but making her part of the process might make her more agreeable.

You, stick to your guns. There's really no way to make anything to do with children completely fair. Since there are 7 days in a week - a 2 week spread is the way to go. I've just read enough of your thread to have reached a conclusion that unless it's her calling the shots, she seems to get upset about something.

Just be as pleasant and non-confrontational as you can be. You have a right to your son, and are not trying to be unfair. You're trying to work out a schedule both of you can live with. Asking her input might bring the tension level down a bit, though.


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
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Thanks guys! I already told her i wanted to meet to talk about the schedule my intent with the spreadsheet was just to be used as a tool to count number of hours we have him and such. She will always have him for some extra time every morning since she starts work 1 hour later. That is life and im ok with that im not saying she needs to give him to me for extra time to make up for that. Anyways i will sit down with her and ask for her input. Thanks for your input.


M30 - W29 - S1.5
EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015
Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015
W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015
W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
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Got another good song it speaks right to my sitch. Haha

Its called Listen by Chad Brownlee

Anyone got any other inspirational song? Maybe i should start sperate thread with a flashy title to draw people in.


M30 - W29 - S1.5
EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015
Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015
W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015
W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
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