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So now she has a problem with abandoning things??? Sorry, I couldn't resist.



The future is as bright as you demand it be.
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I'm starting to sound like an Azzork parrot! But, I agree with him. Take her out of the equation. If you get an extra hour a day with your son, all three of you are happy, why not do it?

You're not entitling her on this. You're coming up with a peaceful solution. That is DBing at its' best.


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
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Originally Posted By: Azzork
Don't choose to say no just to "prove" something to HER. That is the opposite of detachment...

Make your choice based on what's best for you and your son. If that includes shifting your schedule an hour on your days, then why NOT do it?


Thanks Azz this makes total sence just proves yet again i still need to work on detatchment.


M30 - W29 - S1.5
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Originally Posted By: Ancaire
I'm starting to sound like an Azzork parrot! But, I agree with him. Take her out of the equation. If you get an extra hour a day with your son, all three of you are happy, why not do it?

You're not entitling her on this. You're coming up with a peaceful solution. That is DBing at its' best.


Thanks Ancaire now we need mvgfwd2 to chirp in with a ditto and i got a pack od parrots following my sitch :p.

Maybe I will talk to my boss and switch hours but the odd time there will be something that keeps me at work a bit later maybe it is at that point i stand my ground and say id still prefer to be the one who picks him up at daycare on those days.

Last edited by Strngr!; 01/06/16 02:55 PM.

M30 - W29 - S1.5
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Originally Posted By: TxHubby
So now she has a problem with abandoning things??? Sorry, I couldn't resist.


Yah really eh she didnt have a problem leaving him all the time and coming home at all hours of the night when she was abandoning us for OM.

Whats also ironic is she said me wanting to pick him up so he knows im there for him and what not was a selfish thought. Shes the most selfish person ive ever experienced in my whole life throughout this situation.


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Yes. I agree with you on her comment. That is a bull-manure statement. Selfish to spend time with your son? What an idiotic statement.

It was designed to attempt to make you feel guilty so you would let this go her way. Ignore, and do what's best for you.

Avoid the temptation to point out her selfishness. Just be calm, strong, and firm. "No, W. I've thought about it, and I will continue to pick up S. He is in great hands, and will come to no harm in the brief period of time you're not there. I cherish my time with him, and am not willing to accommodate your request."


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

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and here's my DITTO.

You may want to look at the whole schedule and propose other changes that fits your new routine better too. Not as a means to stick it to her but adjustments that to fix a problem for you too. Maybe you don't have any problems with the schedule so no worries. This is new to both of you so there will be changes until you find the right schedule.


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Originally Posted By: Ancaire
Yes. I agree with you on her comment. That is a bull-manure statement. Selfish to spend time with your son? What an idiotic statement.

It was designed to attempt to make you feel guilty so you would let this go her way. Ignore, and do what's best for you.

Avoid the temptation to point out her selfishness. Just be calm, strong, and firm. "No, W. I've thought about it, and I will continue to pick up S. He is in great hands, and will come to no harm in the brief period of time you're not there. I cherish my time with him, and am not willing to accommodate your request."


She was saying its selfish of me to want to be there for him because she thinks he should spend as much time the the 2 of us as possible. I want to show him that i am a good father and i can be there to pick him up. I dont want to have to realy on w on my days off tp pick him up then we have to figure out where tp meet to do the swap. I also feel like the swap is easier on him when it happens as part of his normal daily routine. I agree the selfish comment was made in an attempt to make me feel guilty. I will have to write down your wording it sounds very good. Thanks again!


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Had first swimming lesson with s1 was a blast hes getting pretty good at floating and kicking his feet smile Wifes car might be toast since she moved out now her dad is looking after maintenance of her car he brought it into a shop and they brougt up roughly $2000 worth of work that needs to be done. Hoping she doesnt ask me to pay for half repairs or half a new car. If she does do i have a right to say no?

Also, Im trying to make a playlist insperation songs i can listen to while going through this journey. See my list so far below if you can think of any good songs let me know artist and song title ill add it to my playliat smile

So Far I Got:
Classic Man by Jidenna
Its My Life by Bon Jovi
I Will Survive by Cake
You Gota Want It by Jordan Sparks
Return to Innocence by Inigma
Dare you to move by Swithfood
You Get What You Give by the new rsdicals.

Cheers!


M30 - W29 - S1.5
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How about Fight Aong by Rachel Platten? That one makes me believe that I can do this, even if only for a few minutes.


M:45 H:48
M:11
No kids
BD:Sept'15
EA:Confirmed 1wk later
PA: Oct'15
12 '15 2 wk R
Just kidding, H wants NC
12 '15 H back w/OW
4 '15 R &still working on it
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