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Why are you even looking at her FB page?


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017
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Jeeesh ghost... I'll let the vets give you the advice. But man, do yourself a favor.. Unfollow her on fb. Trust me, I know from experience. As soon as BD happened, I unfollowed my wife and eventually blocked her. I wouldn't ask her anything about the post. It might have nothing to do with you and it would show her she still has you under her finger.

How do you go from a fb post to worrying about losing your share of the house??

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Originally Posted By: ATPeace
Hi I have set up more sessions with IC

I want back to the gym last night did I hr in the treadmill

I woke up this morning and I felt so much better for the exercise

It will only be useful if you are constant.

Little bit sad this morning not wanting to turn this back in to a thread about my W however I saw a post on her facebook You just have, you also just went back to NO GAL or detaching, you also are persuing and snooping. Worst is you KNOW this is wrong but you dont seem to care.


Put a frog into a vessel fill with water and start heating the water.
As the temperature of the water begins to rise, the frog adjust its body temperature accordingly.
The frog keeps adjusting its body temperature with the increasing temperature of the water. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog cannot adjust anymore. At this point the frog decides to jump out.
The frog tries to jump but it is unable to do so because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature.
Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog?
Think about it!
I know many of us will say the boiling water. But the truth about what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people & situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust & when we need to move on. There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate actions.
If we allow people to exploit us
physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.
Let us decide when to jump!
Let's jump while we still have the strength.



She started posting things on her facebook shortly before she gave me the first bomb I think another rhombus is coming and she is planning in telling me that she wants to sell the house People post things and change profiles on whatsapp because they are calling out, wanting attention. She has many reasons for doing this, but you should not care. Why you still think about it after what we told you and your pompous posts and fancy phrases full of philosophy still reflects weakness from you and worst still you are happy to acknowledge it and continue hoping something will change for the better.

What do you think I should do or say FFS G ... Read 3 pages back ... she wants to be left alone. She does not want to discuss anything with you. We told you ... you said you had to drop it ... you wrote about moving forward the new you ... bla bla bla. I see its still cr@p.

Do I say anything to her about seeing the post ? Sure, tell her youre snooping her FB page. I think that should get her closer to you and demonstrate you are past your controlling issues.

Do I give her more space offer to move to parents as I feel this is going to give us the space we both need. What do you mean give her more space. BTW Nice line "I feel this is going to give us the space we both need". She wants space from you and you want her space. You are still kidding yourself.

Cut back all communication only talk with her if she talks to me first so no persuading at all Why do you keep writing these lines down only to talk about the complete opposite or do the complete opposite on your next post? Who are these messages for?

I do not want to risk loosing my share of the house Have you seen a lawyer about this, are you following his advice?

Any advice would be great LOL Nice one!!! you have received what? 900 posts of advice to whch you have followed none. What do you want advice for if you NEVER follow it?
Ghost


M: 50
S: 25

Changing Life
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Max

Thank you for for your really helpful post

I was asking for advice I am trying not to keep getting it wrong

My W is about to walk out the door and I have not helped with the conversations I have had with her


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
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All the advice you ever need was already given to you in previous threads. The point max is making is people can't continue to hold your hand through this and tell you what to do when you don't listen to it. At some point you have to figure it out yourself. It's really only going to happen 3 ways. You wise up and do a radical change to your actions. You push her out the door more and more until shes forced to spell it out for you though her actions. Suffering is involved in all the paths. Or what happened to me where you keep so enmeshed in what she's doing what you eventually break your own heart watching her fall in love with another man.

She's not going to just wake up and decide to keep the family. She is going to want to sell the house and the only reason she's in it right now is to save money and prepare for her new life. You think her staying is good and cohabiting is working but she's only doing it now becaue it let's her prepare for her new life. She wants to escape you and you continue to raise the temperature in that pot. Sorry but this is the truth.

I know how your thinking becaue I did it for months also. Snooping into many things to gauge how she's reacting and convincing yourself things are getting better. She's thinking about how happy her new life is going to be without you and we can't even discuss why that's wrong because you don't accept it thr way it needs to be accepted.

You're stuck. Until something changes you will continue being stuck. Suffering will do it, her pushing forward will do it, but you could do it also.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
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Hi AP. I honestly starting to wonder about this thread Some of the questions you ask don't really seem right to me Why do you think you would lose your part of the house ? You continuously ask the same questions and not even in different ways Your thank people on here who ( rightly in my opinion ) are telling you your not listening or not even attempting to change

I'm going to hold back posting for a while because something just doesn't seem right

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Ghost,
I wish you peace. We cannot talk you out of your crisis. I believe strongly that you need serious IC and probably meds to help control your obsessive ruminating and stop your brain from circling around and around.

I'm going to follow my own DB principles and let you solve this on your own time. You can do this ghost. We believe in you.
Hang in there.


Me 38 H 40
D 3
T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

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Ghost - You are the frog.

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Quote:
I was asking for advice I am trying not to keep getting it wrong


You don't need advice at this point. You know what to do. You're just not doing it.

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I am the frog I thought she was the frog feeling trapped

So you cannot talk me out of my crisis

Am I correct in thinking that my only course of action here is to let her go and tell her that we should instruct soliciters and put the house onthe market she says that when the house sells she will divorce me

That perhaps I should move to my mums and that I am sorry that I have been trying to save the marriage and build something new

Rd the reason I said that I might loose my part of the house is in the UK if you move out of the home then it is possible for her to claim it if I have deserted the home

My head is spinning and I am confused over what I should be doing

I am not trying to be difficult I just am seriously struggling


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
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