Need Help (new thread)

[AU Bob]

?

[sandi2]

Obviously they do it. If people can get D and then remarry, I would say they could R after almost anything.

[Sotto]

Hi Bob, did you read either DB or DR my friend? If you have, you'll see that this is just the kind of behaviour to expect from people who have checked out of the M and believe you'll fall in with all their plans to 'move on.' But people can and do reconcile after the most difficult circumstances and you shouldn't lose hope if you want to stand for your marriage.

However, it is important to get some good legal advice and protect your own interests in any future changes that may happen.

Take care x

[Vapo]

Aussie friend,

normal went out the window at BD. So pretty much anything goes. as long as there is love in your heart, there is hope. But have no expectations of anything. Do not expect her to snap out of it. You are in for a long haul. It is not a quick dip on the North straddie, it's Brizzie to Cairns, To Broome, to Perth, to Melbourne, to Darwin, to Broome,.... You get the picture...

And don't keep an eye on her, or you'll get crazy. Stepping back is the single most important thing you can do...


Stay strong buddy, you are not alone in this crazy whirlwind...

[AU Bob]

Thanks for all your support.
Its only been the last month or so that I think I hve been succesfull in detaching, up till then just the sight of her was enough to make me anxious.
I can now put her out of my mind for longer periods, and I am less worried about what she is up too. At this stage i am focusing on myself a lot more, its just when I hear things from the family grapevine that could change my present circumstances that the anxiety slips back in.
Then I have to come here for guidance.
Christmas is the next hurdle for me now, then new years.

[NateG79]

I know it's confusing man, but keep your head up.

[AU Bob]

Thanks
Time and GAL really dose help. Its the things like making a decision on selling the house or what to do with it. These are the difficult things, when you are doing your best to leave them behind, and do your own thing the spectre of it hangs over you, i have my D17 living with me and i am responsible for her as well.
At this stage I dont really want to have anything to do with WAW WW i dont even want to talk to her.
Detatching is very difficult and when you do feel strong about it it is quite empowering, you get your confidence back and your personality starts to come back. I am at that stage now, i know i can live without her.

[AU Bob]

Is this normal

[Vapo]

Yep, perfectly normal and as it should be. Bear in mind, you will cycle (that means, that there will be bad days), but the cycles will be less and less severe and there will be more and more good days inbetween them. Just take it slowly and don't be too hard on yourself.

[AU Bob]

So how long can this process take. When do you call it a day and start to look for some one else?
Now i have started to detach I have no idea what she is thinking. I have not spoken to her for 2 months. She seems to be quite happy about it all.
On new years eve I have been invited to spend it with some friends, i am assuming she will want to be with my daughters, should i go with my friends or stay and be with her and D's ? What to do