Need Help (new thread)

[Vapo]

Just take it easy m8. It takes time, it really does.

Stay strong buddy...

[AU Bob]

yes
I am a bit lost at the present I seem to be developing feelings for a female co worker and am struggling with it. WAW has not spoken to me for quite a while and seems to be quite happy with her lot at the moment.
I am on the fence with what to do, do I cut my losses and try with the new person, or stay strong and wait for something that may not ever be again? Im 50 now and time is not on my side.

[Sotto]

Hi Bob, I can understand you feeling a little lost, but please be aware that bouncing into a new R with a female colleague is a really poor idea. Ask yourself honestly, if my W turned around now and wanted to reconcile, would I jump at it? If the answer is yes (and my guess is it is) it would be unfair to bring another person into that mix.

Frankly, if your female colleague has any sense, she'll give you a wide berth right now (and I don't intend any offense here.) I think this is happening because you are desperate, hurt and needy - and any affirmation from another woman is like finding water in the desert.

I think you need to gather up your strength, draw back from your colleague, and throw yourself into GAL with a non-romantic focus. That will be far healthier for you than bouncing into a romantic entanglement. In fact, google 'entanglement,' and read about what that means.

One thing I read on another thread a while ago has really stayed with me. It was by a guy who said his greatest regret in all of this was causing great hurt to a third person due to his own great pain. Like you, he had been tempted by someone else in the early stages of his sitch - and in causing her hurt, he hurt himself too.....

Take care my friend....you can do this x

[Vapo]

^^^^^What Sotto said...^^^^^

Trust me, you are no where near ready for a new relationship. I get it that you are hurting and though it would be nice to get some warmth and comfort and TLC. But it's wrong.

Because you are not thinking straight. Give yourself time...

[AU Bob]

Hi Sotto
Yes, I understand what your saying. It sux cause I am in a really good place at the present, first time I actually feel good and am happy, I am starting to not worry about her at all.
At the end of year outing with my work friends I actually started dancing again, Its been years since I could do that! and you could not wipe the smile off my face.
I am loving life again>

[AU Bob]

My daughter invited me to go to a christmas carol night in a local park. It looks like WAW has invited herself. What should i do. At this stage im happy not to see her at all. What should I say to my dsughter?

[Vapo]

Hmm, I say you listen to your intuition. I would say go, but avoid the wife. She does not get to play family...

[MrBond]

"I am a bit lost at the present I seem to be developing feelings for a female co worker and am struggling with it. "

That's a typical rebound relationship. So your 30 years together and the short separation has caused you to fall in love again so quick? Think it through.

Right now your feelings of lack of self-esteem and want for validation of your own feelings are causing a void in you. You want something or anyone to fill that void. This will actually be the test of what kind of MAN you are. Do you really need a woman to make you happy?

[AU Bob]

Hi Mr Bond
No i still would like to R but the things my WW WAW has been doing show me that she has no intention of coming back.
I have found out that she is trying to buy our house out from under me by refinancing and taking over the mortgage, She has not told me this i found out from some one else, she knew i was continuing with the renovations and has said nothing. I would have been doing this and she would just kick me out?
Is this some one i should pin my future on?
Im really not sure?

[AU Bob]

Is this sort of behavior of hers normal. I mean do WW WAW do this, and can you still R after that?