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A Message from Michele
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A new thread for a new life phase #2607935
09/18/15 08:47 PM
09/18/15 08:47 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,492
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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[color:#FF0000]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;gonew=1#UNREAD[color:#FF0000][/color][/color]

Thanks, Job, for giving me the heads up on my numbers so I knew to post a new thread. I don't ever pay attention to that. LOL

Anyway, here is a new thread for what is a new and happier phase of my life. I posted this morning so not much has changed since then, but just wanted to start this new one so I can move on ahead.

Last edited by Dawn70; 09/18/15 08:48 PM.

Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Dawn70] #2607939
09/18/15 09:07 PM
09/18/15 09:07 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline
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Vanilla  Offline
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
I posted on your old thread

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Vanilla] #2608134
09/19/15 02:49 PM
09/19/15 02:49 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,492
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,492
Thanks for the post, V! I saw it last night actually and had to have some time to just reflect on all you said and think about everything.

I appreciated that exercise and it was helpful to visualize him in a different light so that I'm not controlled by him. That was very helpful to just sit and think about.

You asked what my story is with him. I look at him now and see a completely different (and far less likable) person than the man I fell for and married. He's just not the same, almost as if he is tainted now. Which is a weird way of saying it, but it helps me to think of it that way.

Though I have no clue what will happen with New Guy and as I have already said, even if no romance occurs, I will at least have a good friend from my past back in my life, our little flirtation has shown me that there will be a love life after divorce and that I can find a spark with someone. I will be forever grateful to him for that and he might not ever even know it. LOL

Lots to think about, but I'm just trying to go into tomorrow with my head held high. My mom told me to go and have fun and not worry about it because HE will be the odd man out since he removed himself from all of us. We shall see.

Either way, I'm going to enjoy my grandbabies birthdays and that can either be with him or in spite of him.


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Dawn70] #2608136
09/19/15 02:54 PM
09/19/15 02:54 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,435
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gonegrl Offline
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Posts: 1,435
Dawn, I think you are doing great. Have a great time at the party!



Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: gonegrl] #2608187
09/19/15 08:11 PM
09/19/15 08:11 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline
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Vanilla  Offline
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
OK you mention tainted. Great word.

Can you imagine XWH covered in poo.......

And rotting away with leprosy, I joke of course, but if it made you smile and created a pink elephant, then hold that thought.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Vanilla] #2608322
09/20/15 07:19 AM
09/20/15 07:19 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
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Posts: 5,301
Hi Dawn, just to let you know I'll be thinking of you today and hoping things go well. I'm sure it will feel a little strange to see your XH. Like me, you haven't seen your former partner for a while now and there is much distance. But equally, they are intensely familiar to you. It's a strange thing.

But, you will get through the day and keep moving forward in your life I am sure. Plus, it is nice that you have a newly re-established friendship with a little spark.

Take care xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Sotto] #2608334
09/20/15 08:31 AM
09/20/15 08:31 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
V
Vanilla Offline
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Vanilla  Offline
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
UK
Sending you rainbow strength

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Vanilla] #2609340
09/23/15 07:19 PM
09/23/15 07:19 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,492
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,492
Thanks, y'all! I'm so grateful for the support I receive on this page. You all are my strength and sometimes my voice of reason. Isn't it funny that we, as a group of strangers, form these bonds from our shared experiences and help each other through something so painful and difficult. I'm so happy I found this place when I did.

XH has been in town and I had my first encounter with him Sunday. He was friendly and it wasn't too bad. He wanted to come see Molly on Monday so I let him. We talked some things out and I learned that he is a delusional a$$hole. Wow....

Long story short, he still cares for me, but can't stay in touch with me because his girlfriend has a crazy ex and he can't very well fuss at her for talking to her ex if he's still talking to me. I'm fine with the whole no contact thing myself.

He was working really hard to get me to feel sorry for him, trying to tell me about his woes with his girlfriend. He still claims it isn't that serious but then turned around and said they have started talking about marriage. So, he's not only delusional, but he's clearly still a liar.

As much as I was dreading having to see him, it gave me the closure I really needed. I don't even have to imagine him as tainted anymore, V, because I do just feel sorry for him. He's clearly lost his mind. I could fill up several posts telling all the details of our conversation but the long and short of it is that he did me a favor, by showing me his true colors and I feel better than I have in a long time.

New guy has shown me that I might find a spark again. Even if he stops talking to me today, I will have that knowledge and can move forward knowing it. I also had a guy who I graduated from high school with look me up out of the blue on facebook last night and ask me to call him, so I did and we talked for over 2 hours. This was after I spent 4 1/2 hours on the phone with New guy the night before. I'm not rushing anything or even looking for anything, but it is nice to just have a little single male attention....even if it is just friends.

I know not everyone is religious and I'm not trying to shove anything down anyone's throat, but I have always believed that God puts people in our lives at the right time for the right reason and today..........today I'm grateful that he has put 2 old friends right squarely in my path to remind me that I can laugh and talk and be at ease with a nice man and it be a really comfortable thing. And, even if I don't get anything more than that from either of them, friendship is ALWAYS a good thing.

Life is about to get so good I won't be able to stand myself. LOL Thanks to my fellow DBers for being on this journey with me. smile


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Dawn70] #2609504
09/24/15 12:03 PM
09/24/15 12:03 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Hi Dawn, I'm glad you made it through the weekend unscathed. From what you post, your XH sounds rather all over the place. He says he can't keep in touch due to OW's crazy X....but he forgets he was trying to keep in touch and getting no response from you. He says it's not that serious but they're talking about marriage.....strange.

Anyway, it sounds as though he unwittingly helped you with closure and I'm pleased for you. I imagine you were the picure of serenity, grace and strength throughout. And well done to you. I feel pretty strong not seeing my H. I have no idea how I would cope if I did see him...

As for your rekindled male friendships, I would say just keep it light and enjoy yourself. If you want to go out to dinner with them both, let them know and enjoy the new friendships (perhaps with a little spark thrown in.) But you are all settled in your lovely place with Molly, lots of love in your life and an enriching job. There's no need to rush into a new heavy commitment.....just enjoy life.

As always, I feel inspired when reading your thread. I am still working towards where you are at. xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: A new thread for a new life phase [Re: Sotto] #2609576
09/24/15 03:55 PM
09/24/15 03:55 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,492
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
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Strange, indeed, Sotto...I just don't know. But, I did get the closure I needed from it all because I just don't need the drama.

As far as the rekindled friendships, right now, they are just GAL for me. No plans, no commitments, not even really a hint of anything beyond friendship at this point. I will continue to visit with both of them as friends and just sit back and see what happens. Both have been divorced, so know what it is like, so that is nice to be able to talk to them about things.

I don't NEED a man to take care of me, but having a man to do fun things with on occasion sounds very appealing. smile


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
2 adult daughters from current H's previous relationships
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