Thanks, RD, V, Sotto. Today's meeting was just me and my L, in preparation for tomorrow. No surprises, really. We went over some papers that need to be signed tomorrow, which I had already received by email and read. We talked about my position on a couple of things. I am possibly being unreasonable on one minor detail, but it's only unreasonable if STBX doesn't agree. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
Part of the collaborative process is that everyone understands and expects that either me or STBX can call for a break if needed. I am glad this is spelled out. STBX loves to argue, and enters an argument with the intention of "winning", not of working things out. My style is more listen and then let it swirl around in my head a while and then see what pops out. In that regard we are dreadfully mismatched. So I may be making use of the "hold on a minute" technique tomorrow. I will not be bullied into accepting what I am not comfortable with.
Sounds like a good meeting with your L. If you feel stressed or anxious definitely ask for a break. I repeat to myself over and over on the way "this is a business meeting". It does help. I don't understand everything either and that is what L is there for, lay it out in lay man's terms for me.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Ok, so here's the update. There's actually very little to tell. Most of it was explanations of the process and signing papers that we were all going to play by the collaborative rules. Everyone did an introduction, STBX and I stated our long-term goals, we discussed our financial situation in very general terms, we agreed how the fees are to be paid. We set up more meetings with the MHP to finalize a child sharing plan, we talked about the plan to get documents to the forensic accountant, we set up the next collaborative meeting. I was happy to hear that STBX's long term goals were nearly identical to mine, and I'm grateful that the pie to be divided is big enough to make it happen. As gentle as that was, I still teared up in the meeting, and had a good cry after. My crying after seemed to be a stress release as much as anything, but it exhausted me.
After that we both headed to Back to School Night at D17's school so it was late when I finally got home.
I really appreciate everyone checking in on me, it was nice to relax after my long day and see your posts.
I have D12 this weekend, and she was out of school sick earlier this week, so I think we'll just chill and have pizza and movie night today.