Do you really want to see her every school day? Do you think this will be good for you? Will you be able to detach & GAL w/ that? Will this make you attractive to her? What do you hope to accomplish by agreeing to this?
Those are some of the questions I think you need to ask yourself and come up with answers to. We can give another DB perspective from someone who isn't in the middle of your sitch, but there are questions only you can figure out the answers to. Of course, talk them out with us if you want.
And, I agree on the giving advice, but you got that & that is of course giving you advice not to give advice, and that seems ... perverse
I'm not sure the hug was a bad or good thing. I wouldn't sweat it.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Do you really want to see her every school day? No I don't really, why? because she fired me as her husband therefore I should not be available to her when she needs me.
Do you think this will be good for you? NO, would make me feel like a doormat, being used at her will.
Will you be able to detach & GAL w/ that? No, not if I see her everyday, she is super hot and I miss her a lot and that will only make things worst for me.
Will this make you attractive to her? No because I will probably just be there like a dog wagging his tail in front of her.
What do you hope to accomplish by agreeing to this? Nothing. The hard part is how to tell her NO when it involves my kids.
So what have you tried? I bombarded her cards, notes, gifts... Tried to reason, convince, plead too. Thought I was very convincing, but now realize I probably pushed her too far away to get back.
If she ever does take you up on that offer for church that would be a big turn in your favor. What has been the best piece of advice that you have received here?
There are many, but these are the best 3 GAL, 180s, and stop pleading/begging.
I couldn't sleep at all last night, just kept thinking about her. No contact in several days. It seems as it gets easier then boom, the pain all over again, uncertainty, financial stress, loneliness.
I listen to Christian radio on my way to work which helps a lot! Also, I order the Joel Osteen inspirational messages which are awesome btw!
Been attending a church counseling group on Sunday evenings, really nice group! GAL!
Feeling angry for some reason, might have to do with not getting enough sleep last night, wish I could send her a text but I know I shouldn't and wont..
Gonna do something different today with the kids when I get off work.
She called me yesterday out of the blue I asked if everything was alright she said yeah everything is fine, we small chatted for a few minutes and then she asked me if I wanted to go watch a certain movie with her, I said yeah, not excited or anything just like "sure", I asked her what time she said "well I didn't know whether you would say yes or no so I hadn't planned it, she said she wants to go see this movie but she didn't want to go see it by herself.
My question is I already said yes but is she doing it for herself? for me? for us? Am I just a friend? Should I even go?
Sorry so many questions..
She also insinuated she is getting help or doing some kind of counseling she said I just don't feel like sharing with you. I didn't ask anything. Progress? or not?
My question is I already said yes but is she doing it for herself? for me? for us? Am I just a friend? Should I even go?
Sorry so many questions..
She also insinuated she is getting help or doing some kind of counseling she said I just don't feel like sharing with you. I didn't ask anything. Progress? or not?
It does not matter WHY she is doing it ... all you are doing here is living in her head wondering why the coasters are upside down on the table.
You only go if YOU want and you are honest with yourself that you can do so with NO EXPECTATIONS. If you are expecting a "Wow great movie lets be married again" I would refrain from going .... if you can go and act like the HS star QB and you are just having a good time regardless of who is sitting next to you ... then go.
Insinuations ... just that ... do not look into anything till she comes right out and tells you she is seeing an IC, then reply CAREFULLY with validation .... my W shared she was seeing a new IC and I told her "That's Great" only to be slammed with a "I know you think I am all F#6$'d in the head" ... her not feeling like she 'wants to share' is her not trusting you ... so you need to be carefree PMA and approachable
