CALL 303-444-7004 to get started right away!

 

 


A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


A Divorce Busting Telephone Coach
can help you save your marriage singlehandedly!
CALL 303-444-7004
or see Coaching Packages online at the Divorce Busting Store

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
Re: Wow it has been 4 years now! [Re: Ginger1] #2594789
08/05/15 08:54 PM
08/05/15 08:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4,003
G
Ginger1 Online
Member
Ginger1  Online
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4,003
Because the dot button does not work for me even after one second, I just read what I wrote. I said I'd die laughing then say over my dead body. I take that back. I would not die because then I'd have to take him back over my dead body.

Re: Wow it has been 4 years now! [Re: Ginger1] #2594820
08/05/15 09:48 PM
08/05/15 09:48 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4,003
G
Ginger1 Online
Member
Ginger1  Online
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4,003
I truly apologize, I thought I thoroughly read your post, but I was also making dinner, doing laundry and dealing with 7 year old driving me nuts. I'm not as good of a muti-tasker as I thought I was.

Your woman sounds pretty serious about you. But if the thought of your ex showing interest would make your life turn upside down, you might not be as serious??? I'm not going to tell you shouldn't be in a relationship then. I'm not like that. But this may get messy if you still don't know what you would do if your wife shows interest.

This young lady most likely wants kids and a husband. Might want to have that talk with her.

Re: Wow it has been 4 years now! [Re: Ginger1] #2595781
08/08/15 07:16 PM
08/08/15 07:16 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 755
Z
Zelda09 Offline
Member
Zelda09  Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 755
AS, I like to see success stories of people whole and happy after these wreckages.

Echoing Ginger up above, maybe you and girl already understand these things if you went 'exclusive' but my past is filled with regrets of a serious R before STBX, where 'maybe' was a big thing in my head, and really meant he wanted to keep me around for two years and hoped he'd be inspired to want to settle down, maybe. And then STBX, who 'didn't know' about M, and once engaged, pro family, (except when he was on the fence about it) and decidedly leaning toward no family after D. I take responsibility in chasing both of these men hoping they'd come around. But a woman's reproductive years are precious, not to be wasted if she thinks she may have an interest in settling down. Don't let her think she can change your mind if she can't.

I do apologize if I am assuming too much here.


Mid 30's
Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH
D 9/15; NC forever on

You can't DR your way out of abuse.



Re: Wow it has been 4 years now! [Re: Zelda09] #2600424
08/22/15 01:58 AM
08/22/15 01:58 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,202
US
B
BrightFuture Offline
Member
BrightFuture  Offline
Member
B
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,202
US
Hey AS, Iíve been wondering about you lately. It is amazing how things happen. I was looking to RosaLindaís thread and came across yours, because she posted to you.

I assume that your X recovered from that horrible disease just fine. I agree with Cadet, considering all that happened in the last three years, you just donít know if the crisis is over.

One thing I wanted to ask you, if I mayÖ Your much younger GFÖ does she have kids? Will she want kids in the future, if she is serious about the R? What do you think about this? If you donít want to answer, Iím ok with that. It is just a thought that came across when I was reading your update.


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Re: 20 year marriage teetering... finally teetered ;-) [Re: PatientMan] #2726394
01/19/17 02:24 PM
01/19/17 02:24 PM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 2,585
USA
G
Gordie Offline
Member
Gordie  Offline
Member
G
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 2,585
USA
AnotherStander,

I'm not sure if you will ever see this post, but just wanted to say I read your old threads and learned a lot. Our situations have a lot of similarities so appreciate what you had to share.

*M died slowly of neglect (no big issues)
*W still in love, still wants sex, but can't stay M
*180s were to be more attentive to W
*At the beginning you thought there was no OM, but at the end, you learned there was; if you had known earlier, would it have changed anything?


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Remember me? 6 years post BD #2745967
06/06/17 10:55 AM
06/06/17 10:55 AM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,308
A
AnotherStander Offline OP
Member
AnotherStander  Offline OP
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,308
HELLLOOOOOOOO EVERYONE! I haven't been here in years, but I do think about y'all often :-) My birthday is this Friday and it will be the 6 year mark from BD and about 4 years post-divorce. My ex lives about 5 miles away and we get along just fine, I think our interactions could best be described as "friendly neighbors" in DB parlance. Sometimes we go out to dinner with the kids, and I've helped her with some projects around the house. Two of our three kids have reached adulthood and moved out since BD, the 3rd is still at home going back and forth weekly.

My ex never did drop even the smallest hint that she might want to reconcile, I DB'd my little heart out and in the end it saved me but wasn't enough to turn my WAS's heart. We never did have a deep discussion about her leaving, to this day I don't know why it happened and have accepted that I never will. Frankly I don't think she knows either. She really fit all the DB descriptions of a WAS as far as being confused and in turmoil, crying every day and such (I mean after BD, I don't think she's like that anymore) but she seems content in her life apart. In a lot of ways our marriage seems like a foggy dream, it seems almost like a movie I watched rather than my life. It's strange, I don't know how to describe it really. I still care about her but more like I do a relative rather than a best friend, lover and life mate.

So for those that recall my foray into getting back in shape, last year my home town gym suddenly closed doors! I started doing Crossfit and have a whole new family there now :-) I had no idea how bad my cardio was until I started there! Man it has been a tough road trying to get up to speed, but I'm in great shape now. I competed in the Crossfit Open at the end of last year and did pretty well in the Masters Division. I finally got tired of being a little soft around the middle and did a hard cut for about 4 months. I dropped 15 pounds and got down to around 12% bodyfat, probably the lowest since I was a kid. That was several months ago and I'm still keeping it off, mainly through some permanent changes I made in my eating habits.

I've been seeing someone for around 3 year now. She's much, much younger than me. I started out trying to date women my age, but just could not seem to get any to go out, they just wanted to text forever. Anyway we get along well and enjoy doing stuff together. We have a lot of the same interests. She's sweet, very attractive and a lot of fun, and seems to worship the ground I walk on, LOL! She's great but I just cannot see myself ever getting married again, my breakup really messed up my views on marriage. I've discussed it with her and she says she understands and wants to stay together. Maybe I'll change my views on that some day.

Anyway just wanted to pop in and say "hello"! I'll poke around some of the threads and look for familiar names :-)


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: Remember me? 6 years post BD [Re: AnotherStander] #2745989
06/06/17 12:34 PM
06/06/17 12:34 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,010
NY
Cadet Offline

Member
Cadet  Offline

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,010
NY
Oh I see I was on the wrong thread.

Yup - time flies when you are having fun.

Thanks for the update, glad you are doing well.


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Remember me? 6 years post BD [Re: Cadet] #2746634
06/13/17 06:37 AM
06/13/17 06:37 AM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,308
A
AnotherStander Offline OP
Member
AnotherStander  Offline OP
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,308
Originally Posted By: Cadet
Oh I see I was on the wrong thread.

Yup - time flies when you are having fun.

Thanks for the update, glad you are doing well.


I couldn't find my old thread here so started a new one. That's a sure sign I was away too long, LOL! I'm being purged! Help me, I'm melllltttinggggggg laugh


All three of your threads have been merged into one.

Last edited by job; 06/13/17 07:14 AM. Reason: Merged threads

Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: Remember me? 6 years post BD [Re: AnotherStander] #2747663
06/20/17 07:11 AM
06/20/17 07:11 AM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,308
A
AnotherStander Offline OP
Member
AnotherStander  Offline OP
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,308
Thank you Job for merging the threads!! I thought they were gone, couldn't find them anywhere :-) Now I see there are a bunch of posts I missed dating back to 2015, I will now work on replying to them :-) Thanks again!


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: Remember me? 6 years post BD [Re: AnotherStander] #2747668
06/20/17 07:51 AM
06/20/17 07:51 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,500
Southern Maryland
job Offline

Member
job  Offline

Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,500
Southern Maryland
You have to change your display options in the bottom left hand corner to all dates and then hit change in order to see postings that are further back then the current ones that are displayed for all to read.

Page 4 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004