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A Message from Michele
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Update after a long time #2592899
07/30/15 08:28 PM
07/30/15 08:28 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 350
S
shodan Offline OP
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shodan  Offline OP
Member
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 350
All

I have not been on DB in months but wanted to update everyone that my wife and I have agreed to divorce. After more than one year of dealing with my wife's affair and her continued lies and dishonesty, I need to move. She has continued to refuse to provide any transparency and finally just said she is unhappy and wants a divorce.

I am making my focus my kids and myself (I have been for a while). We are going to use a mediator to keep things amicable and will put the kids interests first.

I have lots of emotions right now. I am sad but also relieved. I know that God has a greater plan for me. I will be in a honest, loving, and passionate relationship, with or without my wife. Or as I know now, without my wife.

Thanks you to Starsky, Train and everyone who has been there for me for the past 12 months. I really do appreciate all of the kindness that you have shown me.

Thank you
Shodan


Me: 40, W: 40
M: 15, T: 18
D - 10, S - 7
D announcement 6/7/2014
A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W)
Still living together and sharing same bed
Re: Update after a long time [Re: shodan] #2593460
08/01/15 06:43 PM
08/01/15 06:43 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
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UpperCu Offline
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UpperCu  Offline
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U
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
Sho, I'm sorry to read this. What has been going on lately?


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Re: Update after a long time [Re: UpperCu] #2593483
08/01/15 08:31 PM
08/01/15 08:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Shodan, I'm sorry to hear that. Has your W continued to have contact with OM then? As you know, ultimately it's you who gets to decide whether you want to stand for your M or not & I can understand either way. You've been there for a while and it's tough!

Keep posting & letting us know how you are doing. It's always good to hear from a former poster, even if the news isn't what you wished for..

Take care xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Update after a long time [Re: Sotto] #2593727
08/02/15 10:49 PM
08/02/15 10:49 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
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Ontheup Offline
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Ontheup  Offline
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O
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 374
She doesn't deserve you.
You'll be just great without her


Me:40 W:35
D:8
T:13 M:10
WAW: 7/14
PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months
Moved out and moved on

Re: Update after a long time [Re: shodan] #2593888
08/03/15 01:38 PM
08/03/15 01:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Florida
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Starsky309 Offline
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Starsky309  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Florida
I'm so sorry, Shodan. I had really hoped that no news was good news.

Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Re: Update after a long time [Re: Starsky309] #2596349
08/10/15 05:12 PM
08/10/15 05:12 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 350
S
shodan Offline OP
Member
shodan  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 350
Thanks everyone.

I actually think she has moved on to someone else but who knows. I don't really care at this point. I know this is the right move for me but of course, I know my kids will not like this. But the past year has been so unfair to them...she is very moody, never tells anyone where she is, does very little with the family. My kids are noticing things and it has gotten to a point where we need to just cut the cord and get one with it.


Me: 40, W: 40
M: 15, T: 18
D - 10, S - 7
D announcement 6/7/2014
A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W)
Still living together and sharing same bed
Re: Update after a long time [Re: shodan] #2597057
08/12/15 01:56 PM
08/12/15 01:56 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 350
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shodan Offline OP
Member
shodan  Offline OP
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 350
My sitch has gotten movie level comical at this point. I discovered that my wife is having a second affair. She has my EZpass in her car and I finally logged in to see where she has been...so many lies. Nights she was supposedly working late or out with friends in the city she actually had taken an exit 20 miles west of our town. Days she supposedly went for a run with a friend in the city and ran some errands she was out there as well. One night when she supposedly drank too much and stayed at her friends she actually was out there as well.

I showed her the records and per usual, she denied everything. No really explanation but that I did not know what I was taking about. She is a different person.

I lost my temper a bit, called her several four letter words and told her to leave us. go off, do whatever she wants, but leave our family. We/I deserve so much better.

my advice to anyone in my sitch....LISTEN TO STARSKY AND THE OTHERS....I should have stood up to my wife long ago. Instead, she has moved on to affair #2.


Me: 40, W: 40
M: 15, T: 18
D - 10, S - 7
D announcement 6/7/2014
A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W)
Still living together and sharing same bed
Re: Update after a long time [Re: shodan] #2597060
08/12/15 02:06 PM
08/12/15 02:06 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
W
WhyUs Offline
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WhyUs  Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 630
Sorry to hear this.


Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs
EA: Started 3/2015
MC Started: 4/2015
She moved out and served 6/2015
PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015
2 young kids

"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Re: Update after a long time [Re: WhyUs] #2597061
08/12/15 02:08 PM
08/12/15 02:08 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,303
D
Drew Offline
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Drew  Offline
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D
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,303
Sho-

Not your circus.

Not your monkeys.

Strength and honor, my friend.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Re: Update after a long time [Re: Drew] #2597108
08/12/15 03:59 PM
08/12/15 03:59 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 350
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shodan Offline OP
Member
shodan  Offline OP
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 350
I agree...not my problem anymore

now on to the divorce process...this is the harder part...telling my kids, dealing with all of this cr&p. Uggh.


Me: 40, W: 40
M: 15, T: 18
D - 10, S - 7
D announcement 6/7/2014
A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W)
Still living together and sharing same bed
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