Hi Vanillia. Sorry I haven't posted for a while I hope you don't mind but I have a few observations
1. Your called lady V because that's what you are, a true lady Forget money or class structure. Ladies like yourself could be queens or tea ladies ( no disrespect intended to tea ladies). Your posts have a grace about them and your whole attitude makes you a true lady
2. You are pushing yourself WAY to hard. H is a mess , he's a liar ; hes twisted and not a healthy human being BUT he was your love. You will not get over that this week or next Let yourself grieve and accept that you loved H and couldn't see his faults and abuse.
3. And this is a biggie Health , health , health. !!!!!!! You can not push yourself as hard as you are and expect to stay healthy Vanillia , I have had the health issues and let go some stress You fins are not good but you will get there. Leave some creditors a little short , restructure debits and give yourself time. I picture you as a human Dynamo but that can't last forever Mental and physical health must come before all else If you continue to push as hard as you are , sickness will follow. Make time for you
4'. Vanillia appears to be dealing but have you any further contact re abuse I/C ? While support from all on this board is invaluable , there is a time and place for proffersional help I remember cost was an issue before but maybe even get on a list for public ?
5. I hope you remember that Vanillia had absolutely no input into H ad his issues Vanillias only problem in all this was that she was too caring and too vanillia like I see you look I g for answers and get an impression that you somehow feel that you should have seen what H was like sooner If I'm right then you must dismiss that from thought You were a caring loving W and supported H as you saw fit End of story We all see what we want at times and love is a force that takes over from reason as we all see on here
6. Thank you for being you. I've a few very goods friends on this board who have helped me through an incredibly trumatic time. You have always been there and given me sage advice and support throughout Thank you. If the WASs had half of what Lady V has none of us would be here
V, I am so sorry to hear all this. I pray that everything works out for you. You are such a lovely person.
xoxo
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Thank you for all of the healing posts. RD you are just my hero, who knows Liam may just have had his day as my hero Irish pin up. I did think about not mentioning this latest issue but decided that it was important for me to be open, although I am a little embarrassed. After the 'you are unattractive' rant last year and WH drunkeness I have not been carnal and as time went by I felt less like any connection let alone an intimate one. I really don't know my exposure, but doc says go get it checked then I can't ignore it.
I confess to tears today, sad bitter and burning tears. Then I read all your posts and I felt so supported that I decided to go take action.
I did go to the clinic, the pee test and swab were both clear (instant result). They will ring me by Friday morning on the blood test for HIV and syphilis. Unlikely to be bacterial (so many Antib re my teeth) and HIV is unlikely. So I think it is going to be a clean sweep. It's not been nice to do this and it is good to know. I was at risk with the fishwife on the scene.
I said the drama was over but it keeps coming back to haunt me. I am glad I didn't sit on this!
V
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 07/14/1511:52 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
That's good V. Glad you took action to ease your mind. And a good cry helps too - good to have a release. Thanks for stopping by on my thread and hope you have a good day xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
