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Let us hear from you, Kramer.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Hang in there Kramer. I know the focus has been on my current sitch, but 3 1/2 years I was in a similar boat. Ww was having an affair, thought she wanted a divorce, I moved out and she started to come back towards me.mi had no idea about db or anything like this then. She approached me for sex and we quickly decided we were going to make it work. We started dated again, she cut out the om and I moved back in. Things were great and some of the happiest times we had for the next 2 years or so.

However, we never addressed the affair or worked on our underlying problems. They were still there beneath the surface and I can see now that's why I'm in the same boat now, with what seems less of a chance of ww coming back or me wanting her back now.

I'm so happy for you that you've got to this point. I hope she is willing to piece and work on things together so you two can really make it!


M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
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Hello Kramer, it's been a while since you gave us an update. I'll add you to my piecing list for now, but do let us know how things are, however briefly. You'll remember your early days when it was so good to hear about sitches progressing in the right way. Hope all goes for the best.


M39 D6 D3 (at S)
S 2014-09
D 2016-09

"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
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Kramer, hope everything has been going ok. Please give us an update when you can.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
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Update:

Ok, I realize that it's been a while, but wanted to give everyone an update on my situation. I have been working on my relationship very hard for the last few months, and was hesitant to post because I didn't want to anger or hurt anyone. However, I can remember feeling so down and depressed when I first found myself here, and how I was looking for anything positive to hang my hopes on.

I am happy to report that our relationship is going very well. Since my wife up expectantly came back in May, we have been inseparable. She sent a no contact letter to OM, and as far as I know, she has not had any contact with him. I have access to her phone and emails, and I have checked them frequently. We talk every day about not only what happened, but how we want things to be better moving forward. We jokingly refer to our new relationship as 2.0. We have been going to couples counseling weekly. I have continues with IC, and she will be starting soon.

She has been living with me since mid May, and we are in the process of bringing the family back together. We still have the stressors of finances and drama with adult children, but we are working together as a team. We have total transparency and are approaching our problems as a team. We are not allowing secret conversations and share things with each other. Our sex life is fantastic, and we are appreciative of each other. Honestly, it's like a new relationship with somebody that I've known for 18 years.

I still struggle with thoughts of her and him together. I still wonder how she went from talking to a "friend" to sleeping with him in 2 weeks. I struggle with how easily she lied and carried on a double life, and how easily she filed for divorce. We talk about these things and are trying to move forward. She feels shame and genuine remorse, it appears. I love her, but do not trust her yet. I'm hoping that time and therapy will help.

Feel free to ask any questions that you might have. This site, and all of you, provided my only ray of hope in such a dark period. I would not have this opportunity if it wasn't for all of you. I mean that. I don't know what my future holds, but I do know that I will have given my relationship every chance to succeed.


Me M51
WW F46
T 17 yrs
M 16 yrs
9 children D29 D27 D26 S24 S24 S19 S19 niece18 S17
8 grandchildren
ILYBINILWY: 12/15/14
I discover PA 12/31/14
She files D: 1/9/15
She moves out 3/2/15
D papers served 3/18/15
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God bless you Kramer.

I am so very happy to read of your success and the restoration of your marriage and family. You are a true success story!

Best wishes always

Heavy


Was made a better person by DB'ers
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Kramer!!!!

I am so happy to hear of your wonderful update. DBing DOES work if applied appropriately. It is a real positive that you two are going to MC and IC. So so important in the piecing process.

Have your W read the After The Affair book by Janis Spring? It would be a good start since it isn't a thick tome like Not Just Being Friends by Shirley Glass.

Keep it up, Kramer. smile

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"Has your W read ....."

Jeepers...

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Wonka,

We read "Not Just Friends" together, and "After the Affair" is next!


Me M51
WW F46
T 17 yrs
M 16 yrs
9 children D29 D27 D26 S24 S24 S19 S19 niece18 S17
8 grandchildren
ILYBINILWY: 12/15/14
I discover PA 12/31/14
She files D: 1/9/15
She moves out 3/2/15
D papers served 3/18/15
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,387
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Wow!! Congrats Kramer. What a great update.

I'd imagine that the trust will come back in time, slowly, in waves that retreat and return but will come back.

Enjoy!


M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17
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