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A Message from Michele
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Sotto Offline OP
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Thanks so much RD, Fogg, Pink, Dawn and Bob - kind of you to stop by. I did have a nice day thanks. I belong to a calligraphy group and they hold a Saturday workshop once a month - I don't go to them all, just the ones I fancy. I'm actually a terrible calligrapher - I never practice between workshops and it's a little embarrassing. But they are a nice group and I enjoy going. Today we did screen printing on fabric which was fun.

I'm interested to read the sitches of DBers on a similar timeline to me. It seems that many of us are questioning whether we actually want the M back. We know it would be hard work and is that what we want? Plus there are the difficult feelings to overcome and so on. I guess some of us will heal together with our WAS's and some will heal alone. We just don't know who will do what yet. I think the main thing is to live a good life and do what is needed for ourselves to recover from the heartache and trauma.

Nothing further from H today. I'm pleased that we'll have an interaction this week. Not because I look forward to talking to him - more because I'm a little worried about being avoidant with him. Thinking some more about 'engineering a meeting' - I don't feel at all inclined to dress up and run around the country in the hope of bumping into him. But I think it will be good for me not to dismiss opportunities that DO arise. TBH part of me feels like just walking away and never having to speak or look at him ever again - and I realise that probably isn't healthy. That's just me in scaredy flight mode I think.

Having an evening in tonight, and my Dad is cooking lunch for us tomorrow. Then I may go to aerobics in the evening, but with travelling Monday morning I don't always feel like doing that TBH and I'm not pushing myself just now. I started to feel over tired a week or so ago and work needs to be my priority just now...

Have a nice evening all xx

Last edited by Toots; 05/30/15 06:13 PM.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
Midwest
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Midwest
You're welcome, Toots! I'm so happy that you had a nice day. Hooray!!!

Have a nice evening, too. grin

xoxoxoxo (How about that? LOL)

Your friend,

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
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Posts: 2,227
Hi Toots. Glad you had a nice day Thanks so much for the hugs on my thread , it means a lot and I always look forward to your posts.

Re meeting H , I completely get the flight reflex but it's not what your heart wants right now so if there are interactions then I would urge you to make the most of them. For me , I would always advise going down every avenue to see if reconciliation is possible. I have no doubt Toots could meet her Prince Charming but at the same time Toots doesn't want any regrets re H because they will always be there and maybe affect your R with the Prince. !!

Have a good lunch with the family and take care. Rd. xx

Joined: Dec 2014
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How are you today, Toots?

*Hugs*

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Sotto Offline OP
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Posts: 5,301
Hi Bob and RD, thanks for dropping by. I'm doing fine thanks - it's been a busy day. Mum had a little fall this morning, but was okay thankfully. Had lunch with the parents and then did a few jobs here, then out to aqua aerobics tonight and just finished chatting to a friend on the phone.

Couple of texts from H about arranging the phone stuff next week. Looks like we are going to try and do a conf. call to the phone co. on Thursday to get the phone transferred over to me.

I'm working away tomorrow, so just a quick check on the boards before I sort out my stuff and head off to bed. Hope you guys had a good day too. Take care xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Sotto Offline OP
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Posts: 5,301
Posting on phone, so will be brief. Working away today....busy one & coffee with a colleague after work. Then off to hotel. All quiet with sitch. Couple texts to & fro with H. Notice he takes ages to read my texts just now 24+ hours. That's a new thing. He's normally pretty prompt.....

Working again tomorrow & travelling home in the pm. Hope you guys are all doing well?? Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,004
Colorado/USA
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Posts: 1,004
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Hi Toots,

I am sorry to hear about your mom. It is so dangerous at some age, anything goes wrong and it lasts a long time to heal. It's good nothing serious happen. Your dad seems like a sweet pie, cooking lunch for his girls, so sweet.

Your commute to and from work seems tiring, hope you are getting enough rest once you are back to your flat. Maybe getting some nap with your cat?

And as you posted before, we are in a similar situation. In a D process and walking the final line. What will happen is hard to know for sure, but I don't have much hope these days.

The only option really, is to get busy with our GAL, and try to make the best moving forward. I am happy I have this board to give me the strength to see all the positive that may be ahead of us in our lives.

Sometimes the hole in my heart is so big, I feel it is hard to do anything. But then there is always someone cheering us up and then it is another day.

Hope you always keep the strength and grace that you had since the beginning of this big turmoil. Life will some day smile at us again and we will have some peace in our hearts.

You are a strong woman and I wish the best for you always.

With love,
Pink


Pink17
S22,19 and 16
D:8/5/2015



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edz Offline
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Hi Toots

sorry to hear your Mum has been having a tough time of late, sounds like work is pretty demanding on you as well right now but that can be a channel sometimes for keeping from too much introspection, or I found it that at times anyway.

Yup I'd agree on the timeline thing. As you know earlier in the year/late last year I thought along those lines but I think thats healthy as it either leads you to the conclusion that yes you still want your m/oh as much/more than ever (albeit working on not "needing" them as I had to learn through detachment) or that your destination to be the best you that you can be may not lead along those lines. Those are points I think we do all go through and also that onyl we can know and believe in for ourselves.

Anyway, busy busy one here and need to hed out to run errands at lunch so better get on. (((((Toots))))) and mog, take it easy and keep on tootling smile


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Sotto Offline OP
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Posts: 5,301
Hi Edz and Pink, thanks for stopping by, and for your kind comments. Busy couple of days for me at work. I enjoyed it though. We had some good laughs in the office today and I had my first meeting with our new team this afternoon. Mum is in respite this week and Dad is away on a little trip, so it will be a quieter week than usual. Luckily I have some GAL plans though...

Tomorrow, I'm catching up with some washing and then yoga later. Thurs, I'll be WFH and then off to the Apple store early evening to see if they can fix my poorly ipad. Friday is bookstore, then out with a new friend in the evening. And Saturday, I'm off out for the day with an old friend and her son - all very nice.

Thursday, I think H and I will be sorting this phone thing. It all feels a bit bizarre...we haven't spoken since Jan/Feb (can't exactly recall when) and we'll sit together on this conf. call waiting for the telecoms provider to pick up?? Oh well, I'm sure we'll get through it. No news from my L. I took the financial paperwork in last Thurs, so I'll maybe follow up on that later this week to get an idea of timescales.

Hope you guys are all well xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
gan Offline
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Sounds like you've got a good couple of days planned, Toots. Hope the phone thing gets sorted without too much trouble.


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
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