Vanilla Fudged 17

[Maybell]

Hi, V. You are so sweet, strong, and kind I sometimes forget how much pain you're in too. I want to give you a huge hug and then sit next to you helping to repair the business. I'm sorry your H is so hateful to you. You deserve someone who will meet your best self with his best self. Remember to stand for yourself too, my dear, and not only the marriage.

(((((((((Vanilla)))))))))

[Vanilla]

V, hope you can take care of your business, but make sure you take care of yourself also. I cant imagine having to deal with the damage hes caused in your M along with the intentional damage to the business also. Take care.

Thank you Fogg for your thoughts, yes I am not taking care enough of the key factor of production. My plan was to start eat nourish glow last Monday but events have overtaken me. I am seriously overeating and stopped formal exercise, sleep is poor and a couple too many coffees and wine. Yesterday I attended a funeral and had canapés and wine. Pasta for tea with orange Wednesday friend and granddaughter at her caravan near Bognor.

Some of the damage done by H is clearly intentional and much of the rest of it is laziness and stubbornness. I do believe he was frightened of the work, I saw him have a full blown panic attack about the payroll which fell into his domain. Plus H was compulsive. He believed he was more capable than he was and threw tantrums if I interfered.

H also charged for work that didn't need doing and felt it was ok to sit all day and search for golf stuff on the Internet or watch sky on his iPad. He crafted spreadsheets which had little use in budgeting or planning. Spewed and ranted if change or suggestions were made. In the end to avoid confrontation I stayed silent. If I said anything at all or asked to review it wasn't received well. h felt he knew best and as a result many things fell through the cracks. That is my reonsibility Fogg, to a large extent I am the architect of this, not H.

I don't believe that the way H did things was good and he was a 50% owner and director in the business but he didn't take 50% of the responsibility or do even a quarter of the work. H also demanded that things were done his way and often immediately. H criticised just about everything but had no solutions. At the end of the day though I am holding this baby and it is very ill.

V

[Vanilla]

Hi Vanillia. I'm going to sound like a broken record but however important the company is please get some sleep and look after that health.

H is a basta@d for doing that to your records and not quite right in the head

Take care. AND REST. Rd

As always RD you hit the nail squarely on the head. Today I start eat nourish glow. Healthy food, sleep and exercise. I am going to turn all of this around. I think if I exercise then I can and will sleep better. There is much going on and this can be changed almost immediately. The one good thing in all this is that my Fitbit is saying I am very active. Moving offices, having BBQs, packing up H stuff, doing a great deal of cleaning and fetching, carrying and lifting is movement. Not formal but it keeps the calories burned!

I actually swore in a text, very nonV, I called H an @hle! His behaviour is manipulative and poor. H is gone and now I can move forwards without his interference.

I can change very quickly and some things can change quickly. Others like Fins and health can take a long time like a tanker turning at sea and moving to a new destination. You know a tanker at harbour can't turn but in the rough open ocean the change of direction will occur.

Change is my mantra from today. 180s all over.

The Serenity prayer is my guide: grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Thanks RD.

V

[Vanilla]

Edz

Another R is the last thing on my mind at the moment, somehow that seems impossible. H was a poor choice indeed, my heart is too broken at this point to even think of anything.

I have never been one for waywardness and although I no longer wear my rings, I have chosen a ring from my jewellery box and I wear that on my ring finger to show that I stand for me. I stand for M and I stand for me, I am unavailable for a new R, in my state and mind too damaged to be of use and to truly commit.

My friends have been so supportive, especially orange Wednesday GAL pal. So loving and supportive. I would be in a poor state without my DB friends here giving my support, hugs (90% of them from Pg!) and generous dollops of encouragement to help me stay on track.

V

[Vanilla]

Pink,

H likes control and yes he doesn't have any in my sitch. None at all, whether it drives him crazy loco is his choice but H will have no further control over V or his business.

He can keep his nose out of it and his fingers from the pie.

Frankly stay away from me H. I want dark, so pitch black that H can no longer see which cheese less tunnel he is in. I do not want to be H cheese, go get your cheese elsewhere if you can find it then H that is good.

Over the weekend I will review the D papers and I will file next week. Absolutely done with this, I will not be abused in any way. It has stopped.

V

[Vanilla]

Dawn. OD thank you for the encouragement.

Maybell, thank you and yes I am in pain but I believe we should walk towards the pain and through it. Use it as a motivator. Unwelcome as it is then I want it over.

I shall rest a little and then leave the friendly arms of orange Wednesday pal and her granddaughter 10 and go to the gym.

I missed my dental appointment yesterday. The tenants have no hot water as the boiler is broken, the drain is blocked again at their house. The shower is poring water at the Big House and the hot water tank leaking. I want to swap the jeep for a van as it isn't selling. The big house isn't selling either, the new offices not exchanging. All in all, hassle and of course life is free of rants and spew.

There is much to do and today is a new day.

V

[Karma12]

Oh V.....I feel for you. Keep up the fight. You will find happiness. In the mean time...cheese, wine and chocolate. Xo

[gan]

Dearest V, I wanted to drop by and send some good vibes your way. You've been so strong through all this and have been such a bright star to so many here. Things sound like they have been so tough for you lately, and although I can see you still trying hard to carry on, I worry for you if I'm honest. You've got A LOT on your plate between H, the house sale, the business, the busted boiler, the water leak...do please take care of yourself first and foremost.

[Pink17]

Hi V,

Hang in there dear. I know it is easy for us to say that you need to think about yourself first. But, the kind of problems you have are not easy fixed and need immediate attention or it can and will get worse.

So just hang in there, ask for help if you can. There are always people that will stay away to respect your space right now, but they would love to help you. You just need to ask.

Right now, you need to use people's hands and ears, you need to relay on others in order to get through this time.

Soon, things will fall into place and V will have a nice life with some reason to laugh again.

You are in my prayers, may the Lord help you do not feel so sleepy, so tired, so regretful, so angry, so hurt.

We love you V,
Pink

[edz]

Hi lady V

I know exactly what you mean and no I didnt think you'd be looking for a new R anytime soon, just that one day you may do. Ultimately V should stand for herself and is fighting hard to do so, what happens next happens next and if anyone can shape chaos into a plan and then to contentment I have no doubt it's Vanilla.

Please take care and when you can get a furry friend, a BFT,WFT,OFT (Orange Furry Thing), Waggy or other then get boogying again and enjoying life as you want it

Lots of warm, positive vibes from all of us Lady V.