As V said above its fine to be you for you, indeed getting myself out of a depressive pit and sorted out has been one, if not the most important, elements bar relationship with s to getting where I am. You have and are doing this, keep on tootling.
Lots of positive thoughts including hairy ones from BFT to you and mog.
(((((Toots)))))
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
I kind of feel the same way about my sitch, not much happening and that feeling that there is not a sense of hope any longer.
What you said is very important, we need to remember to keep that hope somewhere. I have been reading TO's tread when I have some time and it's amazing how many dark days she had during the turmoil of separation.
You are doing an amazing job for yourself and your life. It's all very upsetting, but you manage to challenge yourself and have a better day tomorrow. You are meeting new people and learning how to be a better person for yourself and for others.
I really believe that as hard as it is now, that you will find comfort and happiness in the life you are building for yourself.
And like Edz says, how would know the outcome of his sitch a few months ago. It still gets me to see how things change from so dark to better days.
Hi Toots. Just picking up on what Vanillia has posted. Toots is great , your standing for your M is great and how your getting on with your life is great. Do you see a pattern here ? Nothing is wrong with Toots , your GREAT.
I'm not trying to get you to date or anything like it but I was very glad to see you were asked out. I hope this gave you a little boost because it should have !!
Toots is a catch. Your life ahead is what you make of it and obviously we will support you 100%. I admire you in so many ways and your strength that you show , even when your down , is incredible
So many lovely DB friends have stopped by - thank you! V, Edz and RD - thanks for your comments - all on a similar theme and all about living life for me just now. You know, I am and in many ways I'm enjoying it. I'm also so sad about the demise of our marriage which is partly outside of my control just now. But I remain open to possibilities for the time being. And Jim, thanks for your good wishes too.
It is on my mind a little that HXW says he is having a tough time just now? What does that mean? IDK...and I know - best not to wonder! I emailed him today. Ages ago, he bought me an iphone as a present and he set up the contract. It's still in his name and I want to get it moved over now. I rang them, but he needs to initiate that. I haven't heard back from him yet.
Although I wasn't working today, it was a busy day. My dad had to replace his car due to Mum's mobility, so I'm selling it for him. I went up this morning to give it the once over and do the advert. Then I rang my L. Apparently my email to her went missing, so I re-sent it and called in today with 'form E' (completed in draft) and all documents. She's back in tomorrow, so that should get the � disclosure process started. Of course, H may decide to file for D in the meantime, but so be it.
I'm just back from yoga, which was nice as always. And Pink, thanks for asking after my Mum. I just heard from Mum's carer that she is very lacklustre tonight, so I'm concerned about her just now. She is so frail and I worry that we may lose her soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she rallies.
Thanks for stopping by my lovely DB friends. xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
So i've caught up on your thread now and it seems that a few bits have gone on in my absence (sorry, i've not been around to agree with you)
you've got a lot going on with your mum and the financials and a new job etc. (and you need your H to get the iPhone sorted)
I was looking back at your list of his box and your box and i could relate to plenty of what was in there. what i would say though is that in a relationship, if you are both in 100% then all the issues are both your issues. I would be tempted to ask some questions of you here but i dont think its really the right time given everything else that is going on in Toots' world
As for your H well what you do next depends a lot on how you feel. arranging to meet for a coffee to discuss the financials and all kinds of other stuff may help, it may change the dynamic but ultimately its how you feel about it and whether you could face it.
For you (and gan, and to a much lesser extent me) there is that lingering question that says we've settled into a routine of completely seperate lives so is there anyway to make positive changes to the dynamic without crowding or pursuing. but that to an extent i think is answered by the reactions we are getting from what limited communications there have been.
for me what helped has helped has been the acceptance pack on the headspace app. i feel like if i accept it is all over and there is nothing i can do then i will make all of my decisions on that basis (not that some of my recent decisions have been great, but still.....).
one day things might change but since long before BD my XW (despite what she has said) has controlled all the timescales so I can either wait or live my life (I prefer the latter)
I know you know all of this, you are after all the marvellous Toots but i wanted to say it anyway.
I hope your mum picks up quickly
(((Toots)))
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Hi Toots. Sorry to read about your mums lacklustre. I'm Sending positive thoughts accros Please stop thinking about D papers , if they come so be it and if they don't , so be it. Either way it just another step that may mean everything or may mean nothing
I'm glad Jim finally agrees your marvellous !!!!!!!
Toots I have finally caught up with your sitch & I just have to say you are a remarkable woman. You have shown grace, courage & dignity throughout. You are an inspiration. Take care & keep tootling along!!
M: 43 H: 40 M: 18y S17,D13 D12 IC 11/2014 BD 4/16/15 H home 6/25/15 OW2 EA 6/26/15 MC started 7/22/15 Baby stepping....
Just checking in, Toots, and wanting to wish you well. My fingers are crossed for your mum, too. You've got a lot on your plate so do please take care of yourself.
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
