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edz Offline OP
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Hi Huddy, Hi Toots

Been busy busy busy.

So I note I had not much planned, well that didnt work out as expected!

Wednesday afternoon spoke to w who said the oil light was on on the car and I had the oil (we put it in my car before we went on our trip the other week), also she was installing a new game for s on the laptop and had some troubles.

Went round and resolved both and we ended up jointly cooking a chicken curry which was rather nice. Family evening (although s spent most of it playing his new game), spent the night on the sofa and then yesterday we had another long talk.

Besides spending a lot of time together w and i touched upon more issues that had cropped up in the past, how we would deal with them going forward and more. Although w hasnt yet told MIL we did discuss telling s, I appreciate though she can and would see this as a "lock" on her intentions and we agreed we're not going to do that until she's ready. She hasnt changed her mind on anything just working through at her own speed, I'm not pushing but no longer "anti pushing" by asking lots of if she's sure/dont want to push her but... kind of bookending. She has said she's quite happy for my dad to know as he's been asking a lot and i've been politely stonewalling to keep her path smooth. Not sure how much I will say if anything though, keeping my dad aside has been one of my better moves and i'm not keen on instigating him asking whats happening every few days!

The three of us spent much of the day together and during some food shopping (after s bought a game) w took my hand walking around the shops and told me we could all stay over at the house tonight.

We stopped by the flat and fed WFT and picked up some bits for s and w and then headed back. S played his "other" new game and w and i had a glas of wine in the back yard before we made a ratatouille together. After dinner we all watched a movie.

W isnt yet ready to share a bed so I took my sofa and she took the bed, shes afraid thats a step she cant move back from once she goes there so she wants to be ready although Im clear my expectations are not physical at this stage, I am more than happy she chose to stay so slept downstairs. S of course had his room.

About 7 s came down (wanted to play his game) found me and snuggled under the covers and went back to sleep. Got up as normal before 8 and left him to play his game while I used the main bathroom and then got things going for the day, fed s etc. W is very under the weather so is taking a rest this morning before I take them back (the current plan).

S will be staying tonight and maths in the morning.

Other than that Im becoming wary of knowing whats happening next, not expecting good or bad just keeping on smile


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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100 % Edz. Really pleased for your family Well done mate. This is now happening and new Edz is the only Edz

Take care. Rd

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Sounding good, Edz. Keep on keeping on! Two thumbs up and a tail wag from Molly.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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gan Offline
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Great to see things continuing to chug along in the right direction, edz. Knowing how grim things looked at BD for you, it's truly inspirational to see the turnaround. Equally inspirational is watching how you have consistently put in the hard work and be patient with W. Good for you!


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
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edz Offline OP
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Hi all

Thanks rd, dawn and gan.

Not been about much. Saturday picked w up and we took s to maths and w and I had a coffee at the beach and talked. W still nervous about the conversation with mil. My dads being childish right now as I havent voice called (emailed and messaged but he can be a little sulky if hes not called and frankly ive been busy but still tried he didnt reply or call me or visited despite being retired - heyho been much the same for 30 years..) so can validate at parents in general. Afterward both w and I had housework and mundane matters to take care of so I took her back to the flat.

That afternoon she called to tell me shed had a call from mil to chat, we joked back and forth and I said not THAT chat she said..yes. Mil said shed guessed from w's mood and being happy. After w's fears and doubts, mil was absolutely fine about it if w is happy.

We had a long chat and w invited s and I to go round and watch a move with a takeaway so we did. After dinner and s going to bed we caught some TV and I crashed on the sofa.

Sunday we told s we are getting back together, we will be moving from the flat and house and in somewhere new. The big factors will be S's home education or school resources work and WS support network but were thinking august so the timescale just moved up. He is as expected happy to say the least. We had a great day with a trip to a stately home and picnic and then called by to feed the bft and picked up fixings for dinner from my kitchen. I stayed over at the flat with w last night...

Today started in the best way any of my days have since, well I dont remember made w coffee and we chatted, s having got himself up and gone on Minecraft. Just waking up today made me a happy man.

We got wft some new bits and got some groceries for w for this evening and dropped w back before s and i went swimming together.

Tonight just s and I at the house as w has a little decompression time as she's still adapting to not being alone and our new plans.

This week well be picking up my unaltered ring, well also get me a new one next month. W will put hers on when I get that one and in the meantime well start working toward one home. Lots to do bar the normal packing I have to look into how my lease can be ended and notice etc etc.

Still lots to do and as w and I said there won't be an end to it, this is now an ongoing process that we will both stick at into m2 and beyond but she said this morning for the first time she can honestly remember she feels good about it, us and me.

No backsliding from me, I'd obviously like not to have to be apart today but I understand and respect it will take her a little time and she's already moved on so much I have no issues in respecting her space. Today or in enshrining that space in m2.

What next? Doubtless some potholes speed bumps and unknowns and maybe even some pulling back slightly from w but no sign of that right now with w actively seeking new places and us talking on the how's etc.

An awful lot else happened and was discussed, some not relevant some I'll keep to myself but its been a very busy few days.

As always guys thanks for the constant support.

Keeping on keeping on..


Last edited by edz; 05/25/15 03:47 PM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
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Well done Edz. Over the moon for you and your family. New start and you have all the tools on your belt now to deal with the future. Next time your hug S include me n the hug please. Maybe an extra second or two !!!!!


Pleased for the whole family Edz but especially for S. He's a little boy who has being through a very very tough time and he needs to be with his Mum and Dad. So glad you can give him that.

I hope you keep posting because you will be an Inspiration to many others on here looking for hope

WELL DONE EDZ !!!!!!!!!

Hugs and kisses. ( I know , I know ). Rd

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gan Offline
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Yay, Edz!!! So happy that talk with MIL went well. Enjoy the moment.


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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Thanks gan, absolutely rd not there yet. Have two homes to role into one, new ring to resolve right through to our first reunited Christmas and a planned renewal of vows. Once things get ramped up I may be here less often in my thread but I'll be checking in on everyone else's definitely. Of course there's no guarantee everything will work out I will...yes... Keep on keeping on. Right now I'm just happy, so proud of the fears w overcame with her m and thankful she's opened herself up to new possibilities and of course to my councellors and the dB principles that allowed me to work on me to become someone w wants to move forward with and of course all the support of everyone here... All as well as the indescribable luck that I was able to rebuild relationship with s.

..its not all done yet.

Last edited by edz; 05/25/15 07:17 PM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Posts: 5,301
Edz, I'm so pleased for you guys. And great that MIL accepts things. Lovely for. S too....bless him!!

The best of British luck to you both xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
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Hi Edz,

I am so happy for you guys and love the new Edz!

Congratulations!

Your friend,

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
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