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A Message from Michele
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#2553153 04/01/15 02:03 PM
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((((( ))))) or {{{{{{ }}}}}} = hugs!
180 = Another Technique In DB
4Cs - Cool, Calm, Collected and Confident
ACOA = Adult Child of an Alcoholic
ADDY = Address: Email, Snail Mail, Home, Office
AOBM = Alien on Break Moment
AOM = Almost Other Man
AOS = Acts of Service
AP = Affair Partner
APT = Apartment
ATTY = Attorney
AWGTCHM = Michele's book, A Woman's Guide to Changing Her Man
BB = Bulletin Board
BD = Bomb Drop
Big D = Divorce
BIL = Brother-in-law
BTO = Big time operator
BTW = By The Way
D = Divorce Or Daughter
DB = Divorce Busting (Techniques and book by Michele)
DB'ers = Divorce Busters (People At This Site)
DB'n = Divorce Busting (the technique)
Dbing = Divorce Busting (the technique)
DD = Darling Daughter
DH = Dear Husband or Deadbeat Husband
DITHL = deer in the headlights
DR = "The Divorce Remedy" (Techniques and book by Michele)
EA = Emotional affair
EOM = Emotional Other Many
F2F = Face to Face
FAQ = Frequently Answered Questions
FN forum = For Newcomers forum
FOO = Family Of Origin
FWIW = For What Its Worth
FYI = For Your Information
GAL = Get A Life (aka "Make Yourself Happy For A Change")
Going Dark = no contact.
GH = Ghost Husband (Not Really Here Any More)
GW = Ghost Wife (Not Really Here Any More)
H = Husband
HD = High Desire
HEA = Happily Ever After
HOM = Hold Onto Myself
HP = His or her place
HTH = Hope This Helped
HW = Home-Wrecker
IAE = In Any Event
IC = Individual Counselor (or counselling)
ICQ = A chat system which stands for, "I seek you".
ILY = I Love You
ILYBNILWY = I love you but not in love with you
IM = Instant Message
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
INS Forum = I Need Support Forum
IOW = In Other Words
KLA = Michele's Keeping Love Alive audio program
KLA forum = Keeping Love Alive Discussion Group forum
KWIM = Know what I mean
LBS = Left Behind Spouse
LD = Low Desire
LDEA long distance emotional affair
LF = Lady Friend
LL = Love Languages
LMAO = Laughing My A$$ Off
LOL = Laughing Out Loud
LR = Last Resort (technique in DB)
LRT = Last Resort Technique (What to do when all else fails)Explained in detail on page 177 in Michele's "Divorce Busting" book
MBR = = Master Bed Room
MF = Man Friend
MFC = Messenger 1st Class
MIL = Mother-in-law
ML = Making Love
MLC = Midlife Crisis
MP = My Place
MR = marriage relationship
NML = No man's land
M/V = From the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
NPA = Not particularly attractive
NRG = Energy
OEA = Online Emotional Affair
OG = Other Guy
OM = Other man
OOM = Online Other Man
OOW = Online Other Women
OP = Other Person
OR = Our Relationship
OTT = Over the top
OW, Ow = Other Woman
PA = Physical Affair
PG = Pregnant
PMA = Positive Mental Attitude
POV = Point Of View
POW= potential OW
PWAS=potential walk away spouse
PT = Physical Touch
PTSD = Post-traumatic stress disorder
QT = Quality Time
R = Relationship
RBTL = Read Between The Lines
RIR = Room I Rent
ROFL = Rolls On Floor Laughing
S = Son
SAFE = Stay Away From Ex
SAM = silly alien monkey
SBT = Solution-oriented Brief Therapy (kind of therapy Michele does)
SIL = Sister-in-law
SIT or SITCH = Situation
SITD = Still In The Dark
SO = Significant Other
SL = Sex Life
SOB = Son of a Bitch
SSM = Sex Starved Marriage, MWD wrote a few books about it & their is a forum here for that issue.
SSW = Sisterhood of Separate Women (variations could be SDW, SSM, SDM, etc.)
STBW - Soon to be wife
STBX = Soon To Be EX
STBXOM = Soon to be ex-other man (or guy)
STBXOW = Soon to be ex-other women
STFU = Shut the %@#$ up, get duct tape & put it over your mouth
TBH = to be honest
TMI = Too much information
UCL = Unconditional Love
W = Wife
w/ = With
WAS = Walk Away Spouse
WAW = Walk Away Wife (a syndrome Michele explains in her article on this site)
WB = Write Back
WOA = Words of Affirmation
WP = Warrior Princess
WTF = What the…, Why the…, When the…, Where the…,
WTG = Way To Go
WW = Wayward Wife
2x4 = whack, wake up and listen cause a big piece of lumber just hit you in the head

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Can you help me and tell me what V stands for?


Me 46
W 45
S16 D14 S10
M 20 yrs in June T22
12/14 sleeping in different rooms
01/07/15 she said she wants a separation
02/26/15 I moved out
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Originally Posted By: koalada
Can you help me and tell me what V stands for?

Not sure where you are seeing this but my guess is that it may be for our poster named Vanilla.


Me-67, D35,S34
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Oh, I see. Thanks


Me 46
W 45
S16 D14 S10
M 20 yrs in June T22
12/14 sleeping in different rooms
01/07/15 she said she wants a separation
02/26/15 I moved out
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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Cadet - you da man! Good on you for taking that list on. It's so much more accessible now.

Now I just need to work in AOBM somewhere on my threads wink


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 66
S
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AP or MR?


M: 8 years, together 9
M: 41 W: 32
D 4, S 6
ILYBINILWY 2/10/15
2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home
4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread
4/19/15 W asked for D
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Originally Posted By: SadDood
AP or MR?

AP = Affair Partner
MR = Marriage Relationship


Me-67, D35,S34
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UA?


M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
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Originally Posted By: Ripken8
UA?

I am going to guess Undivided Attention.

However it would be good to see the context that it was written in, like for movies it would be United Artists.


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Could be.

"It does feel like they are punishing UA from time to time, but I am not sure if that is a motivation or if it is all just for them."


M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 218
A
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what is an s19?


Me:26 WW:26
RELATIONSHIP - 5 YRS
MARRIED-1YR 11months
BD:9/14/2015
divorce filed 1/6/15
DAUGHTER- 3YRS
DAUGHTER - 1yr
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,952
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Originally Posted By: angel r
what is an s19?

S is "son" and 19 is his age

Ive also seen S stand for "separation" or "spouse"

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Maybe i missed it whats
STFU


M30 - W29 - S1.5
EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015
Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015
W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015
W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
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Originally Posted By: SadJeff
Maybe i missed it whats
STFU


Its up there it says

STFU = Shut the %@#$ up, get duct tape & put it over your mouth

or you could replace %@#$ with firetruck smile smile smile


Me-67, D35,S34
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What does XF stand for?


Me:41 - LBH in apt
W:39 - WW in home
Kids:D(15), D(11), S(9) - custody % 58/42
M: 15 yrs - DoS: 10-11-15
(PA confirmed 2-12-16; WW dumped by AP 11-6-15; WW dated 7-8 men in Jan '16 via Match.com)
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Originally Posted By: Bfice3
What does XF stand for?


Guessing but Ex - Friend


Me-67, D35,S34
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Ex-fiancé?


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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What about NC (not North Carolina)?


M:36 W:31 D:12
M: 8/9/10
ILYBNILWY/"want space": 2/14-ish/16
W moved out 5/24/16.
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Originally Posted By: collin
What about NC (not North Carolina)?


NC = NO CONTACT

or get duct tape and put over your mouth


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what about PA?


M 21 years
XW 43yo, me 41 yo
S13
BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient...
End of June - I started the D process.
D final 2/23/17
"He who forgets will be destined to remember"
Eddie Vedder
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Originally Posted By: coffee_
what about PA?

That is already in the list above = physical affair


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Piecing means what? One is trying to piece back the marriage? DB but marriage is still in limbo?

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Originally Posted By: jmo
Piecing means what? One is trying to piece back the marriage? DB but marriage is still in limbo?

Their is a separate forum for piecing but yes it
means to try to put your marriage back together after
both parties have agreed to this objective.
Many times we see one person try to attempt this by themselves and that will usually result in failure.
Best to continue to DB until you begin to piece.


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This was all very helpful to understanding this place. Thank you for explaining it. I think I misread a number of things while trying to figure out the abbreviations.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


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LBNG = Left Behind Nice Guy


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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What about ONJ??


Me: 27
H: 27
Married: 3 years
H left May 2016
Daughter: 3 years old
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 5
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Thank you for sharing the useful information.

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Can anyone explain the difference between a WAS and a WAW?


MR: 15 T:17
Me: 37 W: 34
S14
BD/PA/EA: 12/2016
Joined: Jul 2017
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Originally Posted By: Tread
Can anyone explain the difference between a WAS and a WAW?


Walk away Wive
Walk away Spouse.


M 53 W 54, M since 98
D15, D19
8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM
until 10/14
7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR
12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.

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What is ia?


M 53 W 54, M since 98
D15, D19
8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM
until 10/14
7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR
12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.

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Posts: 285
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IA is an imaginary affair.


M:46 WXW:40
T:20 M:13
D3,D8,D10
BD:11/12/16
D:12/14/16
OM confirmed 01/20/17
Joined: Feb 2018
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What does BS mean?

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Originally Posted By: Gisela
What does BS mean?

Behind spouse or short for LBS (Left Behind Spouse)
At least that is the way I always read it.


Me-67, D35,S34
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NGS?


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
D
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Yeah. I have seen that repeatedly and have no clue either.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
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NGS = Nice Guy Syndrome


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Posts: 179
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What does IRL stand for?


Me - 38 W-37
S6
M 10 years T 13yrs
BD 3/18
W moves out 4/18
W files 7/18

Never waste a good crisis
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Originally Posted by EZdozit
What does IRL stand for?

In Real Life


Me-67, D35,S34
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What is amoafwl please?


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18
Joined: Jul 2018
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A Man only a fool would leave


Me - 38 W-37
S6
M 10 years T 13yrs
BD 3/18
W moves out 4/18
W files 7/18

Never waste a good crisis
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 213
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IHS?


H:39 W:30
M:4 T:9

05/2018: H says "ILYBNILWY", BD
07/2018: Discovered A, confronted
09/2018: PA + other details emerge; H moved out
12/2018: I filed
03/2019: Divorce finalized
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 536
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In-House Separation, I believe

(((TJT)))


M: 36
W: 30
T: 9
M: 7

S6 (OS)
S7mo (YS)

ILYBINILWY BD: Feb. ‘18

W Wants S / D BD: 1/4/19

H / W still in-house

D papers from W: 3/14/19
Joined: Apr 2016
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CAGD = Cr@p. At. Going. Dark. = One who struggles to "Go Dark," as defined by author MWD.

CAGD has been coined by our lovely LBWs in June of 2019, who all share a similar struggle of noting when their cohorts should be going dark, however they just can't seem to execute it in their own situation. You ladies are the best :-)

Blu


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
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OD?

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Could be overdose or odd duck. Where did you see this? I can then try to figure it out for you.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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It could be from OwnIt's thread. My understanding is that it's just her name for her STBX.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Andrew, that is correct. It is not an abbreviation for the forum, but a personal nickname for OwnIt's husband.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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MLT?

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Originally Posted by PLC
MLT?


I would say Mid Life Transition

which is slightly different than a MLC,
much milder and usually experienced by everyone as they go through life.


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Thank you!

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What is 'Ring' as in 'Ring and piecing'? Piecing is explained halfway through this thread but I can't find 'ring'.

Or does it mean doing 'R' (R???ing)?

Originally Posted by Cadet
Originally Posted by jmo
Piecing means what? One is trying to piece back the marriage? DB but marriage is still in limbo?

Their is a separate forum for piecing but yes it
means to try to put your marriage back together after
both parties have agreed to this objective.
Many times we see one person try to attempt this by themselves and that will usually result in failure.
Best to continue to DB until you begin to piece.

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Hey Joe

R'ing means reconciling or reconnecting with the former spouse - ie getting back together.

Cheers


Me: early 40's
XW: nearly 50
T: 15
M: 5
BD: Jan 19
S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 83
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Thanks!

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NGS?

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Nice Guy Syndrome, from the book No more Mr Nice Guy. Well worth a read, available free on-line if you search for it.

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Thanks

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LA?
Can I use it for Love and Relationship.

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OB?

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job Offline
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costanza,

What is your question? If you are referring to what OnlyBent has in the title of his thread, then he is referring to himself as OB.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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