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A Message from Michele
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Abbreviations ... updated #2553153
04/01/15 02:03 PM
04/01/15 02:03 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
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Cadet Offline OP

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Cadet  Offline OP

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((((( ))))) or {{{{{{ }}}}}} = hugs!
180 = Another Technique In DB
4Cs - Cool, Calm, Collected and Confident
ACOA = Adult Child of an Alcoholic
ADDY = Address: Email, Snail Mail, Home, Office
AOBM = Alien on Break Moment
AOM = Almost Other Man
AOS = Acts of Service
AP = Affair Partner
APT = Apartment
ATTY = Attorney
AWGTCHM = Michele's book, A Woman's Guide to Changing Her Man
BB = Bulletin Board
BD = Bomb Drop
Big D = Divorce
BIL = Brother-in-law
BTO = Big time operator
BTW = By The Way
D = Divorce Or Daughter
DB = Divorce Busting (Techniques and book by Michele)
DB'ers = Divorce Busters (People At This Site)
DB'n = Divorce Busting (the technique)
Dbing = Divorce Busting (the technique)
DD = Darling Daughter
DH = Dear Husband or Deadbeat Husband
DITHL = deer in the headlights
DR = "The Divorce Remedy" (Techniques and book by Michele)
EA = Emotional affair
EOM = Emotional Other Many
F2F = Face to Face
FAQ = Frequently Answered Questions
FN forum = For Newcomers forum
FOO = Family Of Origin
FWIW = For What Its Worth
FYI = For Your Information
GAL = Get A Life (aka "Make Yourself Happy For A Change")
Going Dark = no contact.
GH = Ghost Husband (Not Really Here Any More)
GW = Ghost Wife (Not Really Here Any More)
H = Husband
HD = High Desire
HEA = Happily Ever After
HOM = Hold Onto Myself
HP = His or her place
HTH = Hope This Helped
HW = Home-Wrecker
IAE = In Any Event
IC = Individual Counselor (or counselling)
ICQ = A chat system which stands for, "I seek you".
ILY = I Love You
ILYBNILWY = I love you but not in love with you
IM = Instant Message
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
INS Forum = I Need Support Forum
IOW = In Other Words
KLA = Michele's Keeping Love Alive audio program
KLA forum = Keeping Love Alive Discussion Group forum
KWIM = Know what I mean
LBS = Left Behind Spouse
LD = Low Desire
LDEA long distance emotional affair
LF = Lady Friend
LL = Love Languages
LMAO = Laughing My A$$ Off
LOL = Laughing Out Loud
LR = Last Resort (technique in DB)
LRT = Last Resort Technique (What to do when all else fails)Explained in detail on page 177 in Michele's "Divorce Busting" book
MBR = = Master Bed Room
MF = Man Friend
MFC = Messenger 1st Class
MIL = Mother-in-law
ML = Making Love
MLC = Midlife Crisis
MP = My Place
MR = marriage relationship
NML = No man's land
M/V = From the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
NPA = Not particularly attractive
NRG = Energy
OEA = Online Emotional Affair
OG = Other Guy
OM = Other man
OOM = Online Other Man
OOW = Online Other Women
OP = Other Person
OR = Our Relationship
OTT = Over the top
OW, Ow = Other Woman
PA = Physical Affair
PG = Pregnant
PMA = Positive Mental Attitude
POV = Point Of View
POW= potential OW
PWAS=potential walk away spouse
PT = Physical Touch
PTSD = Post-traumatic stress disorder
QT = Quality Time
R = Relationship
RBTL = Read Between The Lines
RIR = Room I Rent
ROFL = Rolls On Floor Laughing
S = Son
SAFE = Stay Away From Ex
SAM = silly alien monkey
SBT = Solution-oriented Brief Therapy (kind of therapy Michele does)
SIL = Sister-in-law
SIT or SITCH = Situation
SITD = Still In The Dark
SO = Significant Other
SL = Sex Life
SOB = Son of a Bitch
SSM = Sex Starved Marriage, MWD wrote a few books about it & their is a forum here for that issue.
SSW = Sisterhood of Separate Women (variations could be SDW, SSM, SDM, etc.)
STBW - Soon to be wife
STBX = Soon To Be EX
STBXOM = Soon to be ex-other man (or guy)
STBXOW = Soon to be ex-other women
STFU = Shut the %@#$ up, get duct tape & put it over your mouth
TBH = to be honest
TMI = Too much information
UCL = Unconditional Love
W = Wife
w/ = With
WAS = Walk Away Spouse
WAW = Walk Away Wife (a syndrome Michele explains in her article on this site)
WB = Write Back
WOA = Words of Affirmation
WP = Warrior Princess
WTF = What the…, Why the…, When the…, Where the…,
WTG = Way To Go
WW = Wayward Wife
2x4 = whack, wake up and listen cause a big piece of lumber just hit you in the head

Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2553825
04/03/15 09:24 AM
04/03/15 09:24 AM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 117
Germany
K
koalada Offline
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koalada  Offline
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K
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 117
Germany
Can you help me and tell me what V stands for?


Me 46
W 45
S16 D14 S10
M 20 yrs in June T22
12/14 sleeping in different rooms
01/07/15 she said she wants a separation
02/26/15 I moved out
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: koalada] #2553849
04/03/15 11:20 AM
04/03/15 11:20 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Cadet  Offline OP

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Originally Posted By: koalada
Can you help me and tell me what V stands for?

Not sure where you are seeing this but my guess is that it may be for our poster named Vanilla.


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2553889
04/03/15 01:59 PM
04/03/15 01:59 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 117
Germany
K
koalada Offline
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koalada  Offline
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K
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 117
Germany
Oh, I see. Thanks


Me 46
W 45
S16 D14 S10
M 20 yrs in June T22
12/14 sleeping in different rooms
01/07/15 she said she wants a separation
02/26/15 I moved out
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: koalada] #2554885
04/07/15 11:47 AM
04/07/15 11:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
G
gan Offline
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gan  Offline
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Posts: 1,008
Cadet - you da man! Good on you for taking that list on. It's so much more accessible now.

Now I just need to work in AOBM somewhere on my threads wink


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2558579
04/18/15 04:26 AM
04/18/15 04:26 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 66
North West
S
SadDood Offline
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SadDood  Offline
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S
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 66
North West
AP or MR?


M: 8 years, together 9
M: 41 W: 32
D 4, S 6
ILYBINILWY 2/10/15
2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home
4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread
4/19/15 W asked for D
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: SadDood] #2558596
04/18/15 08:15 AM
04/18/15 08:15 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Cadet  Offline OP

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Originally Posted By: SadDood
AP or MR?

AP = Affair Partner
MR = Marriage Relationship


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2567744
05/14/15 05:56 PM
05/14/15 05:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
R
Ripken8 Offline
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Ripken8  Offline
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R
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
UA?


M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Ripken8] #2567750
05/14/15 06:27 PM
05/14/15 06:27 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Originally Posted By: Ripken8
UA?

I am going to guess Undivided Attention.

However it would be good to see the context that it was written in, like for movies it would be United Artists.


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2567754
05/14/15 06:38 PM
05/14/15 06:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
R
Ripken8 Offline
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R
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Posts: 512
Could be.

"It does feel like they are punishing UA from time to time, but I am not sure if that is a motivation or if it is all just for them."


M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Ripken8] #2609913
09/25/15 02:41 PM
09/25/15 02:41 PM
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 218
A
angel r Offline
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angel r  Offline
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A
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 218
what is an s19?


Me:26 WW:26
RELATIONSHIP - 5 YRS
MARRIED-1YR 11months
BD:9/14/2015
divorce filed 1/6/15
DAUGHTER- 3YRS
DAUGHTER - 1yr
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: angel r] #2609915
09/25/15 02:50 PM
09/25/15 02:50 PM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,952
A
Azzork Offline
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Azzork  Offline
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A
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,952
Originally Posted By: angel r
what is an s19?

S is "son" and 19 is his age

Ive also seen S stand for "separation" or "spouse"

Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2623051
11/11/15 05:33 PM
11/11/15 05:33 PM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 236
S
Strngr! Offline
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Strngr!  Offline
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S
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 236
Maybe i missed it whats
STFU


M30 - W29 - S1.5
EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015
Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015
W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015
W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Strngr!] #2623058
11/11/15 05:54 PM
11/11/15 05:54 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Cadet  Offline OP

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Posts: 13,005
NY
Originally Posted By: SadJeff
Maybe i missed it whats
STFU


Its up there it says

STFU = Shut the %@#$ up, get duct tape & put it over your mouth

or you could replace %@#$ with firetruck smile smile smile


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2649093
02/01/16 11:37 AM
02/01/16 11:37 AM
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 129
B
Bfice3 Offline
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 129
What does XF stand for?


Me:41 - LBH in apt
W:39 - WW in home
Kids:D(15), D(11), S(9) - custody % 58/42
M: 15 yrs - DoS: 10-11-15
(PA confirmed 2-12-16; WW dumped by AP 11-6-15; WW dated 7-8 men in Jan '16 via Match.com)
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Bfice3] #2649103
02/01/16 12:08 PM
02/01/16 12:08 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Posts: 13,005
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Originally Posted By: Bfice3
What does XF stand for?


Guessing but Ex - Friend


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2649117
02/01/16 12:38 PM
02/01/16 12:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
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S
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Ex-fiancé?


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Sotto] #2662588
03/14/16 07:58 PM
03/14/16 07:58 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 170
NC
C
collin Offline
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collin  Offline
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C
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 170
NC
What about NC (not North Carolina)?


M:36 W:31 D:12
M: 8/9/10
ILYBNILWY/"want space": 2/14-ish/16
W moved out 5/24/16.
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: collin] #2662647
03/15/16 01:09 AM
03/15/16 01:09 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Originally Posted By: collin
What about NC (not North Carolina)?


NC = NO CONTACT

or get duct tape and put over your mouth


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2680912
05/26/16 12:13 PM
05/26/16 12:13 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 182
C
coffee_ Offline
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Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 182
what about PA?


M 21 years
XW 43yo, me 41 yo
S13
BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient...
End of June - I started the D process.
D final 2/23/17
"He who forgets will be destined to remember"
Eddie Vedder
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: coffee_] #2680914
05/26/16 12:22 PM
05/26/16 12:22 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Originally Posted By: coffee_
what about PA?

That is already in the list above = physical affair


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Ripken8] #2687125
06/23/16 05:32 AM
06/23/16 05:32 AM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 11
J
jmo Offline
New Member
jmo  Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 11
Piecing means what? One is trying to piece back the marriage? DB but marriage is still in limbo?

Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: jmo] #2687151
06/23/16 07:17 AM
06/23/16 07:17 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Cadet  Offline OP

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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Originally Posted By: jmo
Piecing means what? One is trying to piece back the marriage? DB but marriage is still in limbo?

Their is a separate forum for piecing but yes it
means to try to put your marriage back together after
both parties have agreed to this objective.
Many times we see one person try to attempt this by themselves and that will usually result in failure.
Best to continue to DB until you begin to piece.


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Ripken8] #2690541
07/13/16 02:32 PM
07/13/16 02:32 PM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 603
A beach city in the south
C
CT1118 Offline
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CT1118  Offline
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C
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 603
A beach city in the south
This was all very helpful to understanding this place. Thank you for explaining it. I think I misread a number of things while trying to figure out the abbreviations.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2703592
09/12/16 09:09 AM
09/12/16 09:09 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,054
S
sandi2 Offline
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sandi2  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,054
LBNG = Left Behind Nice Guy


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: coffee_] #2705786
09/21/16 05:20 PM
09/21/16 05:20 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 30
Washington State
Z
Zanadoo Offline
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Zanadoo  Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 30
Washington State
What about ONJ??


Me: 27
H: 27
Married: 3 years
H left May 2016
Daughter: 3 years old
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Zanadoo] #2706064
09/23/16 12:10 AM
09/23/16 12:10 AM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 5
S
sharong Offline
New Member
sharong  Offline
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S
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 5
Thank you for sharing the useful information.

Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: sharong] #2739453
04/18/17 03:06 PM
04/18/17 03:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 815
T
Tread Offline
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Tread  Offline
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T
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 815
Can anyone explain the difference between a WAS and a WAW?


MR: 15 T:17
Me: 37 W: 34
S14
BD/PA/EA: 12/2016
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Tread] #2753794
07/28/17 04:11 PM
07/28/17 04:11 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 809
R
RR17 Offline
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RR17  Offline
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R
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 809
Originally Posted By: Tread
Can anyone explain the difference between a WAS and a WAW?


Walk away Wive
Walk away Spouse.


M 53 W 54, M since 98
D15, D19
8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM
until 10/14
7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR
12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.

Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: RR17] #2753796
07/28/17 04:14 PM
07/28/17 04:14 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 809
R
RR17 Offline
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RR17  Offline
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R
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 809
What is ia?


M 53 W 54, M since 98
D15, D19
8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM
until 10/14
7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR
12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.

Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: RR17] #2753919
07/29/17 08:10 PM
07/29/17 08:10 PM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 285
Somewhere in Europe
B
Btrow Offline
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Btrow  Offline
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B
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 285
Somewhere in Europe
IA is an imaginary affair.


M:46 WXW:40
T:20 M:13
D3,D8,D10
BD:11/12/16
D:12/14/16
OM confirmed 01/20/17
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Btrow] #2778472
02/12/18 04:01 AM
02/12/18 04:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 41
G
Gisela Offline
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Gisela  Offline
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G
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 41
What does BS mean?

Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Gisela] #2778474
02/12/18 04:06 AM
02/12/18 04:06 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Cadet  Offline OP

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Posts: 13,005
NY
Originally Posted By: Gisela
What does BS mean?

Behind spouse or short for LBS (Left Behind Spouse)
At least that is the way I always read it.


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2789678
05/12/18 10:40 AM
05/12/18 10:40 AM
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
S
Ste7e Offline
Member
Ste7e  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
NGS?


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Ste7e] #2789686
05/12/18 12:32 PM
05/12/18 12:32 PM
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 950
D
Davide Offline
Member
Davide  Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 950
Yeah. I have seen that repeatedly and have no clue either.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Ste7e] #2789688
05/12/18 12:36 PM
05/12/18 12:36 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,054
S
sandi2 Offline
Member
sandi2  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,054
NGS = Nice Guy Syndrome


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2805302
08/06/18 01:01 PM
08/06/18 01:01 PM
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 178
US
E
EZdozit Offline
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EZdozit  Offline
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E
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 178
US
What does IRL stand for?


Me - 38 W-37
S6
M 10 years T 13yrs
BD 3/18
W moves out 4/18
W files 7/18

Never waste a good crisis
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: EZdozit] #2805333
08/06/18 03:22 PM
08/06/18 03:22 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,005
NY
Cadet Offline OP

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Posts: 13,005
NY
Originally Posted by EZdozit
What does IRL stand for?

In Real Life


Me-65, D32,S31
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2817233
10/13/18 12:06 PM
10/13/18 12:06 PM
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 502
G
Grace21 Offline
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Grace21  Offline
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G
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 502
What is amoafwl please?


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2817234
10/13/18 12:07 PM
10/13/18 12:07 PM
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 178
US
E
EZdozit Offline
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EZdozit  Offline
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E
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 178
US
A Man only a fool would leave


Me - 38 W-37
S6
M 10 years T 13yrs
BD 3/18
W moves out 4/18
W files 7/18

Never waste a good crisis
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2830636
01/02/19 05:45 AM
01/02/19 05:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 202
T
TJT Offline
Member
TJT  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 202
IHS?


H:39 W:30
M:4 T:9

05/2018: H says "ILYBNILWY", BD
07/2018: Discovered A, confronted
09/2018: PA + other details emerge; H moved out
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: TJT] #2830640
01/02/19 06:36 AM
01/02/19 06:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 536
Orange County, CA
B
Bo562 Offline
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Bo562  Offline
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B
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 536
Orange County, CA
In-House Separation, I believe

(((TJT)))


M: 36
W: 30
T: 9
M: 7

S6 (OS)
S7mo (YS)

ILYBINILWY BD: Feb. ‘18

W Wants S / D BD: 1/4/19

H / W still in-house

D papers from W: 3/14/19
Re: Abbreviations ... updated [Re: Cadet] #2855289
06/30/19 09:58 PM
06/30/19 09:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,020
B
BluWave Offline
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BluWave  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,020
CAGD = Cr@p. At. Going. Dark. = One who struggles to "Go Dark," as defined by author MWD.

CAGD has been coined by our lovely LBWs in June of 2019, who all share a similar struggle of noting when their cohorts should be going dark, however they just can't seem to execute it in their own situation. You ladies are the best :-)

Blu


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
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