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Hi TO.. Gutsy move to post on my thread.... I'm so glad you did..(thanks for knocking first) That meant a lot to me.
Did you notice how when you gave him the one word answer of "okay" when he told you he was getting rid of his truck that you got him thinking what is up with her. This then caused him to bring up a relationship talk didn't it..
That's what I have been saying.. Be more quiet, in your own world, if he talks, be polite, short answers that get right to the point, then shut up and go back to whatever you were doing... Great job..
He had sent me a text saying he was getting rid of his truck. I just replied with okay. Later last night while he was on the couch he said that's it's really nice that I don't even care he's getting rid of his truck. I asked him why he thought that? He said because all you said was okay. You didn't say anything else like it doesn't even matter.
Sorry! Literally just walking in the door after leaving at 5 this morning. I am whooped
H was there. I will write a more in depth summary tomorrow but he didn't mention D. Basically he feels since I told him months ago his debt is his debt that he has shut me out and will figure it out alone and now has been resenting me and angry for that. Even though I have told him I would help him recently he just can't wrap his head around that. He has an appt for IC Monday and we have one together Thursday.
He did say he doesn't know what he needs to be happy and he's tryig to figure that out. He admitted he's very depressed and trying to make things better the way he knows how. He asked the counselor several time what are your suggestions. What do you think I should do.
C told H ... I know you think she's the reason your unhappy but she's not. I know you can be happy with her but you have to be united not against each other.
He told H I need access to the phone now and whenever I want and no more sleeping on the couch.
He agrees with H going back to the old job under stipulations... Access to his phone, on my phone bill, I can go by whenever unannounced, no R with any of XOW family or XOW. Strictly business only. H agreed. More on all that later
I have to say I'm not jumping for joy. Not convinced but definitely way different than I thought. I REALLY expected another BD. And who knows I may get one but I didn't get one tonight.
Oh and go me I didn't cry! Lol I didn't react out of anger and C complimented me on how well I articulate things and that its great that I don't react to H negatively but said I can't sweep it. Under the rug
I will reserve my comments from the peanut-gallery until you're able to give a full summary tomorrow. I'm glad, though, it wasn't what you anticipated. I try to tell my older daughters all the time that anticipation is usually FAR worse than reality.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Ugh I had a huge response typed and my phone froze!
Train - I appreciate you thinking of me, it means a lot to me. Along with everyone else too!
Justin - I'm not sure. I really don't know. Like I said I am in protect myself mode. Very apprehensive of H.
I might be okay with it if the stipulations are maintained. It being temporary and being at night with no communication with anyone unless with Ex boss for business related issues only.
His agreement with C was the job is temporary, a few nights a week, no contact with the XOW or her stepmom, I can come by anytime unannounced, I have access to the phone whenever
The C agreed it [censored] and it's not ideal but he sees it as a potential positive. H can make more money and feel financially secure, he gets to be the male provider. He thinks it will take a ton of stress of H which in turn will improve our R.